Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
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- Retiarius
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Who was the archaeologist who unearthed that joke?
I think outside the tesseract.
- yiraheerai
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Wasn't me. A friend of mine did find a visual representation of an oldie, though
A mask, any mask, whether horned like a beast or feathered like an angel is the face of immortality. Meet me in Cognito, baby. In Cognito, we'll have nothing to hide. - Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
(This one works better for North American English speakers.)
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a bad winter?
Because he had a great fall.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a bad winter?
Because he had a great fall.
- Azrael
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
WARNING! If you are easily offended, look elsewhere. WARNING!
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got the gas bill. >.>
Why did Hitler kill himself?
He got the gas bill. >.>
Grand Low Maker of Mischief, Claw of Chaos, Fang of Anarchy
politics: n. pl. from the Grk polis, meaning many, and the OE ticia, meaning blood sucking insects.
politics: n. pl. from the Grk polis, meaning many, and the OE ticia, meaning blood sucking insects.
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
If you think the Milky Way is big, just try to imagine the cow it came from.
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Well, guess what? It's time for another corny joke:
Q. What is the fate of corn (maize)?
A. Ear today, pone tomorrow.
Q. What is the fate of corn (maize)?
A. Ear today, pone tomorrow.
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
It takes a lot of balls to play a professional baseball game.
- yiraheerai
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Sometimes, I really miss Davies, David Tennant and Ten.
A mask, any mask, whether horned like a beast or feathered like an angel is the face of immortality. Meet me in Cognito, baby. In Cognito, we'll have nothing to hide. - Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Courtier: "Sire, sire! The peasants are revolting!"
King: "Yes, I know, Minion, they've always been disgusting."
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What's the difference between rat poison and an omelette?
If you don't know, I don't want to eat at your place.
Triple post merged. The DAMNed
King: "Yes, I know, Minion, they've always been disgusting."
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What's the difference between rat poison and an omelette?
If you don't know, I don't want to eat at your place.
Retiarus, It was me. Don't you dig bad jokes too? ;)Retiarius wrote:Who was the archaeologist who unearthed that joke?
Triple post merged. The DAMNed
- TellusEidolon
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
A cowboy walks into a German supermarket.
"Howdy Sauerkraut! Where them burgers?"
"Wurttembergers?" The cashier shakes his head. "Only Frankfurters here."
"Listen, partner. I've been eating frankfurters all week. I need me a hamburger, you understand? A big, juicy hamburger."
The cashier's face pales. He considers making a run for it, but then several burly men walk in and head for the beer aisle.
"Hamburgers -- aisle 3."
"Howdy Sauerkraut! Where them burgers?"
"Wurttembergers?" The cashier shakes his head. "Only Frankfurters here."
"Listen, partner. I've been eating frankfurters all week. I need me a hamburger, you understand? A big, juicy hamburger."
The cashier's face pales. He considers making a run for it, but then several burly men walk in and head for the beer aisle.
"Hamburgers -- aisle 3."
Artificial does not mean obtuse! ~Uno from Paperinik's New Adventures.
It is important to draw wisdom from different places. If you take it from only one place it become rigid and stale. ~Iroh
You can't make an omelette without ruthlessly crushing dozens of eggs beneath your steel boot and then publicly disemboweling the chickens that laid them as a warning to others. ~Tarquin
The skin stretched and tanned, the striped suit sown into the flesh itself, the killer donned a new body, giggling to no one, "Wears Waldo."
This is here for future reference.
It is important to draw wisdom from different places. If you take it from only one place it become rigid and stale. ~Iroh
You can't make an omelette without ruthlessly crushing dozens of eggs beneath your steel boot and then publicly disemboweling the chickens that laid them as a warning to others. ~Tarquin
The skin stretched and tanned, the striped suit sown into the flesh itself, the killer donned a new body, giggling to no one, "Wears Waldo."
This is here for future reference.
- Don Alexander
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
This one belongs here... Sent by my mom.
Trump & The Pope
Seeking a weekend break from his campaign rallies; Donald Trump jetted to his yacht, which was docked off the coast of Italy .
He invited Pope Francis and the press corps on board for a Saturday afternoon cruise. It was a rather windy day.The Pope's little hat, his zucchetto, was blown from his head and into the water.
A crewman began lowering a boat to retrieve the zucchetto.Trump told the crewman not to bother.Trump climbed down the yacht's ladder; walked across the waves, picked up the zucchetto; walked back to the yacht and handed it to the Pope.
The Pope and the press corps were amazed! Donald Trump could actually walk on water!
Speculation immediately began as to how ABC, CNN, NBC, The Washington Post and New York Times would report this miraculous event to the rest of the world. The next morning the New York Times headline read . . . .
Trump & The Pope
Seeking a weekend break from his campaign rallies; Donald Trump jetted to his yacht, which was docked off the coast of Italy .
He invited Pope Francis and the press corps on board for a Saturday afternoon cruise. It was a rather windy day.The Pope's little hat, his zucchetto, was blown from his head and into the water.
A crewman began lowering a boat to retrieve the zucchetto.Trump told the crewman not to bother.Trump climbed down the yacht's ladder; walked across the waves, picked up the zucchetto; walked back to the yacht and handed it to the Pope.
The Pope and the press corps were amazed! Donald Trump could actually walk on water!
Speculation immediately began as to how ABC, CNN, NBC, The Washington Post and New York Times would report this miraculous event to the rest of the world. The next morning the New York Times headline read . . . .
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's , in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
"Vegetarian: an old Iroquois word for Bad Hunter." Stolen from Azrael
“My books are like water, those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.” ~Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Robin Williams, a man who used his natural talents to make people smile, to laugh, to spread joy, to let everyone else feel alive; so no one else ever had to suffer as much as he has.
“My books are like water, those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.” ~Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Robin Williams, a man who used his natural talents to make people smile, to laugh, to spread joy, to let everyone else feel alive; so no one else ever had to suffer as much as he has.
- Don Alexander
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Weather effects in Finland and rest of the World:
+15c Spanish wear caps, gloves and winter coats, Finns are sunbathing.
+10c French desperately try to get their central heating on. Finns plant flowers.
+5c Italian cars won't start. Finns drive with convertibles.
... 0c Pure water freezes. Water in river Vantaa thickens a bit.
-5c First people are found frozen in California. Finnish midsummer festival ends.
-10c Scottish turn the heat on in their houses. Finns start to use long-sleeve shirts.
-20c Swedes stay indoors. Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
-30c Half of the Greek people have frozen to death. Finns start to dry their laundry indoors.
-40c Fake Santas are moving to south. Finnish army cancels winter training due to warm weather.
-50c Danish people are losing their teeth. Finns rent movies and stay indoors.
-60c Polar bears evacuate North Pole. Finnish army starts its winter training.
-70c Siberian people are moving to Moscow. Finns are furious since the Koskenkorva can't be stored outdoors anymore.
-273c Absolute Zero. Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
-300c Hell freezes over. Finland wins soccer World Cup.
+15c Spanish wear caps, gloves and winter coats, Finns are sunbathing.
+10c French desperately try to get their central heating on. Finns plant flowers.
+5c Italian cars won't start. Finns drive with convertibles.
... 0c Pure water freezes. Water in river Vantaa thickens a bit.
-5c First people are found frozen in California. Finnish midsummer festival ends.
-10c Scottish turn the heat on in their houses. Finns start to use long-sleeve shirts.
-20c Swedes stay indoors. Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
-30c Half of the Greek people have frozen to death. Finns start to dry their laundry indoors.
-40c Fake Santas are moving to south. Finnish army cancels winter training due to warm weather.
-50c Danish people are losing their teeth. Finns rent movies and stay indoors.
-60c Polar bears evacuate North Pole. Finnish army starts its winter training.
-70c Siberian people are moving to Moscow. Finns are furious since the Koskenkorva can't be stored outdoors anymore.
-273c Absolute Zero. Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
-300c Hell freezes over. Finland wins soccer World Cup.
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's , in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!!
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Tourist at Thanksgiving Day parade: "Wow! These floats are amazing! Look how big the head is on that one of Donald Trump!"
New Yorker: "That's not a float."
New Yorker: "That's not a float."
I think outside the tesseract.
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Re: Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.
Donald Trump is a legend in his own mind.
;)
;)