Mad March Nom-off! Vote Now!

[Bear]

Edit: The entry period is now over. Place your votes now! And as ever, keep all discussion about the contest in the discussion thread!

And now appearing, suddenly and without warning...

Its the Mad March Nom-Off!

The March contest is.... A cook-off! Thats right, its a culinary contest to show off your kitchen skills. How to enter? It so simple even Frankie could do it...

All you need to do is make your favourite recipie, be it snack, desert, main meal... whatever!; take a picture of the finished result, and post it with the recipie and step by step instructions on how to make it. Please use the following format :

Recipie Name
[ Image ]
Ingredients:

Instructions:


You can make absolutely anything you want, but it has to be you thats cooked it, so to proove it, include yourself in the picture!

You have until 12 Midnight GMT on the 18th to get your enteries in, after which, voting will start and the usual prize of the shiney colour and ranking will be awarded.

Also as usual, keep this thread for enteries only and the discussion to the contest discussion thread!

[Peppercat]

This is an absolutely silly entry. I prepared this cause I was hungry and DA bullied me into making it my entry It's hardly my favourite recipe but it's gooooooooooooooooood and greasy and nommy and really really easy and fast to prepare It was tricky getting the pic cause I was eating in a bowl (cause eating in bowls is more fun than flat dishes!) but I managed ;)

Bacon Noodles



Ingredients:
- Chinese noodles (Ramen Soup ones will do)
- Bacon
- A bit of butter
- Poppy seeds (optional)

Instructions:
1. Cook (boil) the noodles.
2. Chop the bacon in small pieces.
3. Fry the bacon (don't use any oil!)
4. Put the bacon aside and melt a bit of butter in the pan.
5. Put the noodles and the bacon in the pan and mix them up.
6. Add the poppy seeds (if you wish) and serve!

[cheesebunny]

intreeging!
ok Im hoping we can do more than one? as this is just what Im eating now

orange



ingrediants:
1/2 x oranges

instructions:
take orange in hand
peel
eat, whilst avoiding pips
throw away peel or use to make a zest in another dish

[GothPoet]

Here's my entry, a recipe that was shared with me by my best friend. It took me quite a while to listen to her and make it, but I am certainly glad I finally did.

Farfalle with Carbonara and Spring Peas



Ingredients
• 455g/1lb farfalle
• 1 egg, preferably free-range or organic
• 100ml/3½ fl oz double cream (I can never find double cream locally, but I've found heavy (or whipping) cream works as an effective substitute.
• sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 12 rashers of pancetta or smoked streaky bacon, roughly sliced
• 3 handfuls of fresh podded or frozen peas
• 2 sprigs of fresh mint, leaves picked
• 2 handfuls of freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Instructions

First bring a large pan of salted water to the boil, add the farfalle, and cook according to the instructions.
Whisk the egg in a bowl with the cream, salt and pepper.
Put your pancetta or bacon into a second pan and cook until crispy and golden.

When the farfalle is nearly cooked, add the peas for the last minute and a half.
When cooked, drain in a colander, saving a little of the cooking water.
Add the pasta to the pancetta and stir in most of the mint, finely sliced - if the pan isn't big enough, mix it all together in a large warmed bowl.

Now you need to add the egg and cream mix to the pasta.
What's important here is that you add it while the pasta is still hot.
This way, the residual heat of the pasta will cook the eggs, but not so that they resemble scrambled eggs.
The pasta will actually cook the egg enough to give you a smooth sauce.
Toss together and loosen with a little of the reserved cooking water if necessary.

Season with salt and pepper, sprinkle with the Parmesan and the rest of the mint leaves, and serve as soon as possible.

[LadySheDevil]

Alright! I used a very simple recipe for this, adding my own flair, but you can omit the butterscotch chips if you wish.

I present to you...

LSD's Beautiful Boobie Cupcakes!


(One of the nakie ones is missing because my friend Ken nabbed one before I had a chance to take a picture with them!



Ingredients:
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup butter
- 2 eggs
- 2 tsp. vanilla
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 3/4 tsp. baking powder
- 1/2 cup milk
- 2/3 cup butterscotch chips

Step 1
Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line cupcake pan with papers if desired.

Step 2
In a medium bowl, cream together the sugar and butter by hand with a big spoon. With an electric mixer*, beat in the eggs, one at a time. Add the vanilla.
*I didn't have a working one, but a speedy whisk-arm is just as effective.

Step 3
Combine the flour and baking powder in a separate bowl and stir well. Add this dry mixture to the creamed mixture. Mix well. Stir in the milk until the batter is smooth. Pour or spoon batter into the prepared pan.

Step 4
Bake 20 to 25 minutes.



Now normally this is the part where I prepare my icing, but since my mixer is broken, I'm using canned.

This is the recipe I usually use.
- 1/3 c. soft butter
- 3 c. confectioners' sugar
- 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
- About 2 tbsp. milk

Blend butter and sugar. Stir in vanilla and milk. Beat until frosting is smooth and of spreading consistency.

...But yes, can. I separated the can into several small portions and dyed each one pretty colors -Flesh included for boobie tones.

[Dirty n Evil]

Hello everyone, and welcome to "Cooking with Evil"! I'm your host, Dirty 'n Evil.

Of course, everyone knows my Sou Chef, let's give a big round of applause for Saskia!


Now today's recipe is Evil Chili. Chili doesn't have to take all day, and this is very good. Here's a list of ingredients that will serve 3-4 people:

• 15 oz. can of tomato sauce
• 6 oz. can of tomato paste
• 1/2 large onion, chopped
• 1/2 lb. of your favorite sort of meat (Ground beef, Steak, Chicken, Venison, you name it)
• 15 oz. can of dark red kidney beans
• 3 tablespoons of your favorite hot sauce
• 1 tablespoon of paprika
• 1 tablespoon of chipotle pepper powder
• 2 tablespoons of course ground black pepper
• 1 teaspoon of white pepper
• 4 tablespoons of minced garlic
• 1 habanero pepper, diced

Utensils Required:

• Cutting board
• Knife to cut with
• Saucepan
• Mixing spoon

Directions:

Chop up the onion into fairly large pieces - you'll enjoy the texture of the larger pieces as you eat the chili. Today I decided to use a red onion since I'm doing a steak chili. If you're doing a chili with ground beef, brown the ground beef before hand and drain off any excess grease. One hint I'll offer with the steak is to cut it up in asymetrical pieces. If you try to cut it up too uniformly, you'll feel like you're eating a pre-processed meal with meat cubes. Rinse off the red kidney beans. Put everything into the saucepan, and stir up thoroughly over medium heat. (If you're cooking with chicken, cook over high heat until chicken is completely cooked for health reasons.) Watch the pieces of meat to tell you when they're fully cooked, and you'll know the food is done. At this time, it should look something like this -



A warning about dicing up the habanero pepper. DO NOT DO THIS WITH YOUR BARE HANDS!!! Taking as simple a precaution as placing little plastic sandwich baggies over your hands will prevent any complications from handling the habanero. Be sure to include the seeds into the chili, as they contain most of the heat.

For an extra fancy step for presentation, you can shred a little bit of cheese over this chili and perhaps some diced green onions. Be sure to have a nice drink nearby, because this chili isn't called Evil Chili for nothing. Here's an example of the finished product.



The key ingredient to this chili is the garlic. By putting so much garlic into the chili, it's given it a pleasant slow-burn quality. The first couple of bites are very spicy but flavorful... but as you continue to eat the chili, you feel the spicy heat actually get a bit hotter until most people are sweating slightly by the end of a bowl. Be sure to have a nice beer (or glass of millk) nearby, and enjoy.

[Don Alexander]

Since, it seems, I'm trying to enter each and every contest in existence, I'll even enter this one, though I'm no cook...

The following is not really cooking. It's more like mangling and dumping stuff together. But what came out in the end tasted good.

I present:

PENNE ALLA ARRABIATA for an army

Preparation time: One hour.

The ingredients:

2 x 500 g Penne noodles
2 x Arrabiata noodle sauce
A tomato
Several onions
Olives from a glass, pitted
200 g of herb curd
A block of Gouda cheese
Olive oil (not pictured)
Water (not pictured)

"Recipe":

Cook noodles in boiling water in big pot with some olive oil. Something like ten minutes. Until they have the desired hard- or softness.
Slice and dice tomato, onions, cheese. Olives are in bite-size portions already.
When noodles are finished, creatively remove rest of water. I then added another bit of olive oil and the herb curd.

Sauce:

Use smaller pot. Dump in sauce, onions, olives and tomato. Stir vigorously. Heat until boiling.
Then add cheese. Stir more until cheese is all melted. Don't be a tool like me and let it burn to the bottom of the pot due to laziness.

When finished, apply gravity (carefully!) to transfer sauce into noodles. (I prefer it thusly - other may invoke apartheid and only mix on plate in desired quantities.)

THE RESULT is that I need to clean my kitchen nook...

And here's the happy cook!!



Guess I'll be having noodles the next few days...

[Azrael]

Found this variation of an old favourite of mine. Recipe calls for vanilla but any single solid flavour of ice cream will do ( I have made these with chocolate, strawberry, and mint flavours). Not sure how a chunk or swirl type ice cream would work for these though, never tried them. Also these work better if you have an actual deep fryer like a Fry-Daddy or some such. But these are sooooooo good . Give them a try.

Fried Ice Cream Volcanos


Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
6 scoops vanilla ice cream -- formed into balls
1 cup graham crackers or vanilla wafers -- finely crushed
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1 egg
1 tablespoon milk
oil for frying
For Fire:
sugar cubes
alcohol based orange extract or brandy
chocolate sauce or strawberry sauce
for lava effect

Place well formed ice cream balls in a metal square pan. Cover with foil and
set in freezer for at least 3 hours. In a small shallow dish combine crumbs
and cinnamon. Quickly roll firm ice cream balls into crumbs, replace in pan
and freeze again for 1-3 hours. In a small bowl beat egg and milk till
frothy. Quickly roll coated ice cream balls in egg and then back into
crumbs.. Return to freezer for 1-3 more hours.
Heat oil to 375F. Be precise with oil temperature, so ice cream will fry
quickly and not melt.Fry until coating begins to brown 8-10 seconds on each
side (20-25 seconds in a fryer). Place in serving dish, top with chocolate or strawberry if desired, and
do the following:
Soak sugar cubes in alcohol based orange extract, or brandy. Let the cubes
sit with the alcohol on them for 15 minutes. When ice cream is ready to be
served, press a sugar cube into the top of the ice cream and ignite.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOTES : Use a dropper to saturate cubes with orange extract or brandy. Place
just enough drops to wet the sugar cube without causing it to fall apart.
Make sure they stand 15 minutes before lighting.

fic1.jpg (2.39 KiB) Viewed 7140 times

fic2.jpg (2.76 KiB) Viewed 7144 times

fic3.jpg (4.04 KiB) Viewed 7142 times

[Fen]

My recipe sucks, so i shall rely solely on bribery(though mind you, to the fries-eating manwhore and sandwich eating-bigtits, this was paradise). Also, my english when it comes to cooking stuff sucks.
Chicken with sour cream and mushrooms, with Bechamel sauce and potaters.
I used bout 500g mushrooms, but i'm not sure how evenly i split them:P.

Chicken:
1 pack of chicken breast(less than 1 kilo, as much as you can fit into a frying pan)
some of the mushrooms.
bout 300-400gsour cream(I use more or less depending on the cream, this one was particularly thick)
slice chicken in really small pieces, put in a frying pan with as little or no oil as possible. Wait till well-fried.
Add the (sliced) mushrooms, till they start leaking the mushroom sauce.
Add as much sour cream till everything is literally swimming in it. Leave it another few minutes till the cream is liquid.
Add lotsa spice(i usually put chilli and hot Boia and hot sauce, but it ends up red. I wanted this to look nice so i used Oregano, Măghiran and Tarhon).


Bechamel sauce:
50g butter
1 spoon of flour
300 ml milk.

Melt butter in bowl, mix with flour, add milk, mix till sauce-y.

Potatoes(with mushroom surprize).
7-8 potatoes
some of the mushrooms
Oregano.

Take potatoes. Clean potatoes. Slice potatoes. Put potatoes in oven.
Take mushrooms. clean mushrooms. Don't slice the mushrooms. Put mushrooms in oven.
Add some spices.
Leave for an hour.



But the REAL recipe is.
Bring over some of your smexy friends. Start cooking.

Make them help out with some easy stuff...

But keep the real cooking to yourself.

Let them drool as they non-cooks don't comprehend having to wait 1 hour in the smell of food till actually getting to taste it

Serve

Serve sexy

very sexy

Yes, this is bribery.

[Asaryu]

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins



Ingredients

* 60g butter
* 2 cups self-raising flour
* 1/2 cup caster sugar
* 1/2 cup milk
* 2 eggs
* 2 ripe bananas, mashed
* 1 cup (200g) Nestle Dark Choc Bits

Method

1. Preheat oven to 200°C. Line a medium muffin tray with baking paper. Melt butter in a small saucepan or heat-proof bowl in the microwave. Set aside to cool slightly.
2. Sift flour into a mixing bowl. Stir in sugar. Make a well in the centre of dry ingredients.
3. Using a whisk, lightly beat milk, eggs and butter in a jug. Add to dry ingredients, along with mashed banana. Using a wooden spoon, gently mix ingredients until just combined. Stir in choc bits. Don't beat the mixture or the muffins will be tough.
4. Spoon the mixture evenly into the muffin cases. Bake for 20 minutes or until firm on top when lightly touched (get an adult to help with this). Leave in the tray for 3 minutes. Transfer the muffins to a rack to cool.

I got the recipe off the internet, but I lost my one from a year 2 basic skills test. Now the question stands, will they be delicious?

They look delicious

They smell delicious

I serve them with vanilla ice cream

George says they are A-OK

[midgetshrimp]

Boil it. Use some soy sauce and stuff, a little chopped red pepper maybe, some onions, various vegedibles, throw it all in a sauté pan. Heat it up. Put boiled noodles and sauce in a bowl or wok or something. Toss it. Eat it.

It's all about the presentation.

[Alisonchan]

Brunch: Magnificent Mod Omelets and Frankie Sushi:

Frankie Sushi!

Beary-mod Omelet!

DnE-mod Omelet!

As for our token hug-angel, I ran out of energy to make her highly complicated Omelet! However, the plans are included in the pictures of the templates, and I WILL make hers this coming week, just for fun. Pwomise!

Okay, so Frankie Sushi... This was incredibly hard. I came up with the whole thing by myself. The recipe was all mine, and the plans are included in pictures of the sketches. If you really want to try this, PM me, and I'll write up some lengthy instructions. Mostly though, I can't believe it worked AND was delicious.

First: Gather up all the things you'll be needing.
Second: Add two drops of red food coloring to the vinegar dressing that goes into sushi rice.
Third: You are ready to start building.
Fourth: You build like this.
Fifth: Another picture of early building.
Sixth: After you roll them, you start slicing, carefully.
Seventh: They look grumpy.
Eighth: Now you plate them and add ears.
Ninth: A close up.
Tenth: The retarded one gets left behind.
Finally: Get someone to prove it's not poison.

Now then... Beary-Mod Omelet? Oh, I couldn't resist! Basically, it's a regular omelet with a few tweaks!

First: I cut the detail pieces up so I can stick them on the hot omelet.
Next: I look at where I want to place things and tell myself I am a better cook than my SO.
Third: The third step is very, very important. You must tell your SO that he is a homosexual and should not take out his penis while you are working with a knife.
Fourth: You use your second omelet to cut out appropriate shapes to make a delightful bear.
Fifth: Use ketchup to replicate blood around the bacon mouth, and you are done!
Sixth: Feed it to some hobo so you can start on your second omelet.

Finally, for this contest, I made a very special DnE-Mod Omelet! It follows all of the same principles as the Beary-Mod Omelet, except you add two drops of green food-coloring to the omelet mixture before you cook it. I actually tried to make different colors, but ended up with two horrific grey colors, and one menstrual-looking color. Just stick with green. The yellow in the yolk screws with everything.

First: This one takes 2 omelet bases, some white cheese, wilted green onions, and a LOT of cutting.
Second: Follow the template as best you can. The kitchen is now a mess and this apron makes me look pregnant, because I shove stuff in the front pockets.
Third: Most hobos can eat a lot of omelets.

So those are my entries! OH YAY! I had a lot of fun designing them. Sorry I couldn't fit in Teacher's this week. It took all my energy to get these done. Still, she's in the templates...
Template One
Template Two

WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well, if that didn't get your vote... You know, if you're one of those type, I have two bribery pictures. Hey, I just felt threatened by MS, okay?

Bribery One: SFW
Bribery Two: NSFW, because your boss will think you're a pedophile.

So that's my entry. I want to give extra-special thanks to Asaryu for helping me with all the technical stuff and hosting my pictures, and to Beary-mod for being himself. Thanks guys!

[Alisonchan]

POLLS HAZ OPENED!

[Tenjen]

Go Fen!

[midgetshrimp]

My vote goes Alison, LSD, then Fen. So colorless Fen gets it.