CEC Voting: Guys.

[Bear]

And now we have The First Annual Christmas Ebilness Contest voting pole for the guys. Enteries are repeated below in order of being recieved. Everyone gets three votes each due to popular grumbling, and no changing your votes once cast!

Voting will end Midnight on Tuesday the 23rd. Winners will be announced on the 24th or Christmas Eve.

The prize will be... A Special Ebilest Formite Title, chosen by you, and a nice spangley colour for your name.

Enjoy!

Edit: Due to contestant asking to be removed, everyone now has to recast their votes.

Dear Beary-Claws,

I have been a Ebil little boy this year for many a reason.
Foremost amongst these is flashing my awesome tits at various college classmates.
Let's not go into that.

I was ebil in skiving off a trip to the Tate Modern and randomly going into a Starbucks opposite the Shakespeare Globe, then subsequently mixing a leftover sachet of ketchup that I picked up in a service station into my friend's hot chocolate while they went to the little girl's room. That was fun.

I helped write a song called God Loves Acoustic Death (http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=G3LUbctQD ... re=channel)......blasphemy in song. God knows how many people will be offended by it.

Other ebil acts include pinning a condom to someone's artwork, pulling chairs out from under people, farting loudly and deliberatley, and poking people with sticks.

Mwa ha ha.

Here are those sweeeeeeeet tits I told you about.... ;)

http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee6/ ... re0014.jpg

Now I claim the first topless shots of the contest!

This is my eeeeebil face.....honest.

http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee6/ ... re0013.jpg

y so srs?
http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee6/ ... -joker.jpg




Also, it's blatentley obvious that the female who posts pictures of her naked breasts will win. Let's just make this a boob conetst. ;)

Well, short of being ebil to my son and g/f....

I constantly use the "puppy" (who is 6 1/2 months old and over 60 lbs already) as a tackling implement by tossing dog toys at him when he sits on the ground. Koda tackles him and pins him down licking him and gnawing on him hehe

Snuck up on my son because I walk softly and tickled him for good measure to remind him that dad's always watching...

I've made my son think I was sitting in ambush for him with a nerf gun by sitting the gun just in visual range so he can see the tip of it from his bedroom. He thinks I'm hiding behind the wall when I'm really downstairs or something.... pins him in his room heh

During Halloween I rigged up a dropping spider to scare the kids and g/f first time she walked up the steps to the front door.....the shrieks were...wonderful!

To co-workers... who forget to lock their desktops, they end up with Carebears as their backgrounds for punishment =)

I hid Think-Geek Annoy-a-trons around my office =) and even at my office in Utah hehe

What else have I done this year? heh

• Stuff I've done not this year...
• pulled about one half inch tobacco out of my mom's cigarettes and placed a couple matchheads in them, then repacked the tobacco... She took a long drag and the thing lit up hehe
• Rigged flour bombs over friends doors so when they open it, it tears open a packet and "kills them" hehe
• Along the spider theme, my step-father is deathly afraid of them, so I rigged one up at head level because he would walk around in the dark..
• Stole all the mouseballs from the mice (attached to the computers folks!), my own included and placed them in someone's desk to incriminate him... (later people stole everything off his desk but 1 mouseball...I was dying)

Who knows whatelse.... Co-workers cubes and computers have been filled with various items, taped up items to phones, monitors, keyboards...

Hell, I took a screenshot of someone's desktop, made it their background and deleted all their icons, they were clicking for like 5 minutes hehe

Yeah I'm a prankster...

Time for me to beat everyone with a chainmail-and-plate glove!!!

This entry into the Ebilness contest will be different from the others... I shall leave pranks to lesser mortals, and focus on TRUE EBIL!!!

So, here goes...

"Deary Beary-Claws,

I've been very Ebil this year because...

- I listen to Ebil Noize!!! (Hah!! That's not music!) Torturously ground guitars, punished drumsets... Lyrics that deal with things so Ebil I can not mention them without being banned... I listen to this stuff all the time. The rage, the hate, the desperation, they flood me. They command me to... No, must not reveal Ebil plans for world domination!! And always remember: The made the metal!!! To pervert the minds of the young, and make them soldiers for His final battle.

- I read Ebil literature!!! Books in which people die in the most violent ways, books which promote sex and drugs and promiscuity and incest and all the things the Good Books tells us are wrong...

- I watch Ebil movies!! There can't be enough sex and bloodshed for me!! The Saw series, or Hostel?? Bring em on! And to totally prove to all of you how Ebil I am... Back when I was just 8 years old, when other kids were little angels , I watched, original in the drive-in cinema, THE CARE BEARS!!! And I lived to tell the tale... Damien has got NUTHIN' on me!!

- I practice Ebil science!! I deal with energies and events that would blast the Earth to dust if they happened nearby. I believe in the BIG BANG!! And in EVOLUTION!! And in ATOMIC POWER!!! Mwuahahaaaa!!!

And of course, I have photographic evidence of my Ebilness!!

So totally not safe for anywhere EBIL TOPLESS FROSTDEMONSTORM SHOT FROM HELL!

Also, I'm Ebil because I SCARE PEOPLE!!! I even scared Midgetshrimp, who won the Cute Contest and is therefore Anti-Ebil.

Threat thread:
Vote me EBIL or THIS KITTY gets huffed!!! In an un-ethical way!! In the tummy!!!!!!

YES, I know the dangers of full-tummy kitten hiffing, but I DON'T CARE!!! I'M EBIL!!!!

Just so you know.

So. This year, vote ME Ebil!! I mean, you finally have the chance!! Why vote for the lesser Ebil???

Signed, Ebil Darth Smart Alec!!!"

*sets the hot cup of baileys coffee on the desk, adjusts pink tinted glasses and dips a baby penguin in ink to use as pen*

"Deary Beary-Claws,

I truly believe Don Alexander must win the Ebil contest because...

- he can stand listening to noise without his head exploding and brain turning to mush, he can stand listening to juvenile lyrics about unspeakable practices but does not actually have what it takes to do any of them himself, he uses worn out cliches to hint at how evil (not ebil) all that is, even bringing imaginary friends to the mix (unlike you, oh magnificient one)

- he even goes beyond mere lyrics and reads whole books about those aforementioned unspeakable practices (and a few quite unhealthy ones, in all sorts of ways) ...and all to prove he is some sort of incarnation of evil (again not Ebil) in this world

- he watches movies that would make anyone half his age happy in the pants, sacrificing all class and Ebilness in the altar of shock and awe, he actually watched the car--- wait, what? ...alright, that IS Ebil... its way beyond Ebil... thats downright Wicked

- he is otherwise a thinking, rational, man.... while not Ebil by any measure, we need more of those around, so he should be rewarded for this un-Ebilness

- he is threatening known sadistic predators with unimaginable depravities, then provides elaborate explanation of them ...that is also quite Ebil

- he has provided photographic (pornographic?) proof of his Ebilness, damaging the minds of children worldwide and def---

*drops pen and runs away screaming as eyeballs melt in their sockets, not able to stand the sight for much longer*

I forfeit!

*the baby penguin takes a sip of baileys coffee and starts dancing like happy feet*

(not sure if that was an entry, i just felt silly)

Dear Beary-Claws,

I've been very Ebil this year because...

- I've introduced, addicted, and corrupted a number of people to kinky activities, including rope bondage, suspension, and fireplay, through teaching, demonstration, and actual play. (Yeah, I'm just your average kink pusher...)

- I totally crushed a friend in one of his favorite board games... while he was in the hospital recovering from fairly serious cancer surgery. (Hey, if you can't rely on your friends to not cut you any slack, who can you rely on?)

- For that matter, if someone is playing a board or card game with me and there's just one thing that someone can do to make sure your elaborate plot to win fails, I'm the one who always does it. (Classic example - I *always* have the card to stop an attempt to "shoot the moon" in Hearts.) (Not sure if this is ebil, or just being an S.O.B... I'll leave that up to the judges to decide...)

- I set a pretty, topless woman on fire (without burning her) in front of a large group of mostly vanilla LARPers. (I also convinced several of the audience to let me set their hands on fire...) Fireplay is fun, if a bit ebil...

- I overloaded a poor girl on orgasms until she was rather delirious, seeing weird colors, and saying she couldn't take anymore... and then I forced her to have a few more anyway. (I wanna play with her again, darn it! But she lives so far away... ::sigh:: )

- I... um... started singing karaoke. 'Nuff said. (I also have plans to start singing Jonathan Coulton at karaoke. His folk arrangement of Baby Got Back is first on my list...)

- I'm indirectly responsible for a single CCS page being seen by a rather large number of *very* kinky people.

- When doing kinky S&M play, I have a tendency to ask: "Is this hurting too much?" If they answer no, I ramp it up and ask the question again. If they answer yes, I still ramp it up anyway, but then say "Sorry, is that any better?" There's no right answer to either question, BTW. (I'm told that may be true Evil, not just Ebil, so it might also not count...)

- I overuse ellipses incorrectly...

- I went on a number of very cool vacations, and then told all my friends (who weren't able to go) about them. For some reason, they seemed to think this ebil of me...

- Most importantly, I hang out in webcomics forums with impressionable youngsters less than half my age and make posts about kinky stuff, knowing that the ideas planted in their minds will grow into fun stuff as they get older...

I didn't list details all the ebilness I did over the year, because quite frankly, it would take several dozen pages, and some of it would definitely push the 16+ rating of this forum, but I think you get the general idea.

(That said, I do admit Don's picture trumps a lot of that... Truly Ebil if you ask me. )

Signed, Zgwortz

Dear Beary-mod,

I have been beary ebil this year.

I have posted signs at work which read "Customer complaints department in our new location 2 miles west", which is, of course, a cornfield.

I have done what a coworker asked and called them to wake them up at 5:30 am - and then every 5 minutes thereafter until 7.

I have downloaded a Commodore emulator to a work computer and left it running fullscreened, then explained to the boss that he's picked up a Trojan surfing sports sites when he saw it and freaked.

I have superglued a phone to it's charger for cheap lulz.

Lastly, I have refused to upload a photo just to keep forumites guessing.

ah posse, your newer shot is not as devastating as your edge of nipple and teddy shot.

ya..i stared that hard to notice..or atleast imagine delusionally.

I'am searching for "the Face!" shot of mine. its somewhere on the net

my best friend kater helped me out and sent me some of my old pictures of the faces i can pull!

MUHAAA!

so please do choose me!

Or ill be sad...

the only truly evil thing i can think of is the fact my mobile is 3025750 and theres a guy out there who has a number similar to me. maybe 3205750 or something. i keep getting his calls. have been for years now.

so now, everytime i get a wrong call. I tell them a horrible story. Like once about the cementer. I said another company made a better offer for the cement they had paid for. Another time About tile's, i went on and on about glass tiles being on the way with him with him screaming he needed floor tiles and how he had already paid specifically for floor tiles and me INSISTING about the glass tiles being on discount and looking nice on walls and for windows and the large variety of them we had on offer if he wanted to purchase more.

Once this fellow called all angry and complaining about getting his electric connection fixed sometime soon please in a rather uncivil manner.

now with that last fellow i went "sorry what? excuse me but didnt i already tell you we're gonna fix it? you sON OF A BITCH! [rising tone] SHUT UP! I TOLD YOU WE'RE GONNA FIX, YOU SIT YOUR FAT ASS DOWN AND WAIT FOR WHEN WE'RE GOOD AND READY! WHAT! TERA MAKICHUTE! [your mothers vag] GO ON, GO AND TELL MY BOSS!"

said all that in hindi. it sounds more effective in Hindi :3
Its amazing i havent been caught, what with caller records and such.

Oh and hte last thing wasnt orginally my idea, my uncle had once done it decades ago when their office kept getting cross connections with the local furniture shop.

[Asaryu]

And Don thought he would be out-ebil'd.

[Peppercat]

That was part of his ebil deceiving plan

[Asaryu]

If low self-esteem is ebil...then I think perhaps I shoudl have entered.

[Peppercat]

As far as I know, it isn't; and I believe you don't have low self steem
Though you ARE ebil, hmmm

[Bear]

You should have entered Asaryu, you'd have beaten so many people

[Asaryu]

But I've been good this year....honest I have.

[cyanide_sweet]

Voted! May the ebilest forumite win

[Bear]

But I've been good this year....honest I have.

Uhuh... sure.... *reveiws CTV footage of you trying to drown noobs*

[Asaryu]

It was for their own good...they got to frolick in a bubble bath. And they loved it.

I maintain that I have been good. And in the face of some pretty stiff temptation too.

[Arantor]

Hmmmm. Ebil, eh?

And none of you are stroking a de-furred, thawed-out-previously-frozen cat. And not a single one of you bothered with the sharks with frickin' lasers. Everything else is only token Ebilness, sorry.

[cyanide_sweet]

Hmmmm. Ebil, eh?

And none of you are stroking a de-furred, thawed-out-previously-frozen cat. And not a single one of you bothered with the sharks with frickin' lasers. Everything else is only token Ebilness, sorry.

Sharks with lasers? I totally KNEW I forgot something

[Asaryu]

I thought the sharks with lazers were a given.

[LadySheDevil]

And don't forget lazer-humping MINI Ebil-doers!

[Don Alexander]

Ebil plan working to full effect!!!

and to everyone who voted for me so far!

Wait, that was detrimental. ;)