Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread ***VOTE NOW!***

Past glories of the forum.

Moderators: Don Alexander, midgetshrimp

Who is most deserving of having their heart unlonelified?? :D

Poll ended at Tue Mar 01, 2011 7:35 pm

Azrael
4
5%
Nathan Dorian
4
5%
mac2
3
4%
Lighthawk
8
10%
CyanideAngel
3
4%
MerchManDan
3
4%
Pneumonica
3
4%
DruffyB
5
6%
Tenjen
3
4%
JVDifferent
8
10%
Gil Hamilton
0
No votes
Lilianna
6
8%
Java
5
6%
Dirty n Evil
12
15%
midgetshrimp
5
6%
ExplodingJoe
2
3%
Don Alexander
6
8%
 
Total votes: 80

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Dirty n Evil
Deceptively Evil
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Location: Salem, Oregon, United States of America

Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread ***VOTE NOW!***

Post by Dirty n Evil »

The First Annual Lonely Hearts Contest!

Hello, forum! To switch things up a little bit this year, we're trying a new contest - being that February is the awful month with that dreaded holiday of Valentine's Day in it, we're writing a playful little entry in the theme of a personal ad. :) Now, this isn't you writing an actual personal ad... instead, make up a personal ad based on your the little persona you've built up here through the forums. Tenjen is the perfect example - hope you don't mind me pointing you out here, Tenjen. :D But in real life he's not a lynx kitteh, as much as I'd enjoy seeing a lynx actually typing away at a keyboard. If you're fairly new and you don't feel like you've "built up" enough of a persona on the boards yet? No problem! Just have a bit of fun and write it up as an exaggerated version of yourself.

The criteria of the contest are as such:
1. All entries must be a total of 35 words or less.
2. Must have a headline (written in bold) atop the remainder of the paragraph that is no more than three words total.
3. No pictures or bribes.
4. Keep to the established forum guidelines with your entries.

And just in case people want a little suggestion, here is a mock-up entry to inspire...

Evil Maniac Love
Despot of all he surveys seeks adoring minion to be
by his side as he crushes those futile enough to
oppose him. Let's rule the world together!
No smokers, no players please.


The entry period is from now until the 24th of February. After which voting will take place until the 28th.

As always the prize is a shiny name color and rank title (if someone wins or is close to first place who does not have a title yet, that is).

This thread is for entries only, All discussion and questions to be in the normal related discussion thread.

EDIT: Poll is up!!! You have 4 days to vote, and FOUR votes due to the big turnout!! Get going! :-bd
Tied 1st Place of "What Would You Do To Win A Ma3 Contest" Contest (Aug '09) / Winner of Cutest Forumite Contest (Male Division) (Sept '09)
Winner of FRANKIES Awards Contest (Feb '10) Winner in Noms & Exemplary Divisions / Winner of 'The Contest For the Next Contest' Contest (Jul '10)
Winner of Wet T-Shirt Guys Division (Jul '10) / Winner of Lonely Hearts Contest (Feb '11)

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Azrael
Mischief Maker
Posts: 24097
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:48 am
Location: Down below, where the dead men go

Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Azrael »

Let's Make Mischief Together
I am the Claw of Chaos and Fang of Anarchy.
The purveyour of Entropy and Destroyer of Governments.
Come ride on my Vorpal Scythe of Doom as we lay waste
to all that stands before us and rock this thing all the way
to the destruction of the Earth. Let's get wild.
Do you really want to live forever?
Grand Low Maker of Mischief, Claw of Chaos, Fang of Anarchy

politics: n. pl. from the Grk polis, meaning many, and the OE ticia, meaning blood sucking insects.

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Nathan Dorian
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Location: Milton Keynes, England
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Nathan Dorian »

Prince Seeks Prince
Seeking a man who sparkles both during the day AND
the night, to ride upon my Unicorn steed. We shall
gallop and prance through fields of butter and meadows of
bacon.
P.S. My lance is immeasurable.

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mac2
Posts: 1321
Joined: Thu Dec 31, 2009 9:17 pm
Location: 13 miles south of the Mason-Dixon line

Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by mac2 »

Romantic Destruction
Fun-loving, mischievous single gentleman gremlin seeks
similarly inclined lady for di-a-bo-lical sab-o-ta-gee. Interests
include explosions, crashes, and disassembled machinery.
Healing factor a plus. Must like size shifters.
Yes, it is as bad as you think, and they are out to get you

Everything is significant until proven otherwise.

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Lighthawk
Killer GM
Posts: 2828
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:27 pm
Location: Where the dice fall...

Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Lighthawk »

Rolling Charisma Check
GM seeking PCs for fantastic one shots
RP talents not required, physical ability scores must be high
Knowledge of grapple rules and use rope skill a plus
Railroading likely, no rule lawyers.
Last edited by Lighthawk on Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Holder of the Elder Scepter of Ebilnes, Elected Supreme Ruler
"Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two 'me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!" -Twilight Sparkle, to her future self.
Yira wrote:Whatever, labels are stupid. ...Unless it's a label gun, then we're talking tons of fun. "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! ...This is an awesome bar stool, but you can have it."

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CyanideAngel
Cookie Angel
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by CyanideAngel »

heaven or Hell?
Little Angel Wants a Devil Playmate
To rule the heavens,Hells and all that
Lies in between.
Call me!
Amor vincit omnia Nil illegitimi carborundum Carpe Diem Carpe Noctem
winner of the 2009 cutest forumite contest (females)
Teach's Angel Kitty and assistant giver of hugs

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MerchManDan
Nerd-At-Large (Mostly Harmless)
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by MerchManDan »

[kiss] "For Luck!"
Massive nerd (figuratively and literally) with shaved head
and chronic shyness seeks woman who understands that
headline. Any commonality with Kari from Mythbusters
would be a plus. Gimme some sugar, baby!
Last edited by MerchManDan on Fri Feb 11, 2011 12:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
Operator of The Penultimate Darkness Pit: Gift Store of the Cavey Cave of Elderly Elders
Exclusive and Singular Seller of The OmniFork!
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Pneumonica
Posts: 1573
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:57 pm

Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Pneumonica »

Storm of Eyes
Intelligent colony organism (single, gray, genderless) seeks someone to infect, all day, all night.
Doctors and nurses acceptable, if moderate. Lack of immunizations recommended.
Must detest long walks on the beach and enjoy mild siroccos.
Further affiant sayeth not.

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DruffyB
Posts: 102
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2011 9:19 pm
Location: Freak County...England

Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by DruffyB »

Paranoid schizo dude
Seeking freaky girl who is willing to be chained to a fence whilst being pummeled with haddock,
Must also like Atomic Rooster, Bloodhounds and Valium. No cougars please!

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Tenjen
Friskeh Lynx Kitteh
Posts: 15751
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 7:43 am
Location: doing his business in his litterbox. WTF YOU LOOKIN AT?!

Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Tenjen »

Fuzzy Loving Infliction
soft and fur covered tiny feline from rare species,
claws and bites,
looking for female of general humanoid variety
willingness to provide rub, scritches and also transport
Storage within ample cleavage preferred for latter case
Affro Shaman of the Forum and Deranged Elder Lynx of the Caves. Perpetuater of warm-hearted irrelevance and lynx kitteh of affectionate inflictions.
ImageImageImage
Artemisia wrote:Wait...are we reenacting Ma3 here with ballistic cats?

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JVDifferent
Venus Dicktrap
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by JVDifferent »

Queen Resplendent Demands Tithe
Your Majesty the Queen of Lizards and Darkness seeks compatible subject to experiment on. Must enjoy velociraptors, leather, chains and fire. Penchant for immaculate execution of scientific methods with repeatable results essential. Oh, sex is okay too.
Resplendent King of Lizards and Darkness
Resident Firestarter, Wielder of the Falcon Punch
SKULLS SKULLS SKULLS
Image
Proudly signature-less since 1986. I mean... Fuck.

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Gil Hamilton
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Gil Hamilton »

Studying Physical Chemistry
28 year old white male Grad Chem TA looking for undergrad hottie to tutor in physical chemistry. If you want to experiment with me and see how we react, call <insert phone number>. PS: not knowing what chloroform smells like a plus!

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Paul
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Paul »

<entry withdrawn>

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Lilianna
The Disappearing One
Posts: 2026
Joined: Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:57 pm
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Lilianna »

Lill One's Love
For sale or trade: one (1) date with a bisexual, ninja-neering,
on-again off-again member of the Pixie Trix
Community. Must appreciate puns. Must be huggable.
Reply via telekinesis or trained pigeon.
ImageHEAD TECHNOLOGIST and GUARDIAN OF THE "THRONE".Image

CHIEF PROPHET OF CACAO, THE LORD AND GOD OF CHOCOLATIANITY

FSU Class of 2014!
Ailith wrote:Yes, it was intimate, it was passionate, it was sensual, and it ended with a few orgasms. So yeah, counts as sex to me.

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Azrael
Mischief Maker
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Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:48 am
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Re: Lonely Hearts Contest 2011: Entry Thread

Post by Azrael »

Let's Make Mischief

Looking for trouble?
Must love: Pantry raids, Mod-throne sheddings and clawings
Shouting blue flames from high places and snarks from the Balcony.
Enjoyment of: Critter BBQ, seafood, music, movies, anime, games,
pranks, and puns a must.
Grand Low Maker of Mischief, Claw of Chaos, Fang of Anarchy

politics: n. pl. from the Grk polis, meaning many, and the OE ticia, meaning blood sucking insects.

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