The Cranky Couch.

[TakerFoxx]

Although it does remind me of something I read once: "sleep is god, go worship"

Butters to Harry, the Dresden Files. ;) Forget the book in question, think it's Death Masks.

Back on topic...

Why is it so damned hard to find a job? Scratch that, economy, I know. What I want to know instead is why is it when the manager of a place you're applying to says he'll call you back with an update, he never does? And it's not "We'll call you back if we find a place for you." Nope, it's more of after actually filling out the new employee handbook and the W-2 form, they say "I'll call you by tonight to let you know what's up." And you never hear from them again. Even calling them back doesn't do anything good, just ends in scheduling another supposed phone call that never comes.

Okay, I'm done.

[JVDifferent]

@TakerFoxx: I hear you, brother.

You know what, I have a grouch. I have a giant grouch. I've said bits and pieces of this all over the place but grah.

It was about this time last year when my best friend reached out to me on a level that was more than just friends. He kissed me, asked me about my virginity- but I take the suggestion as a one-off mistake because I knew he was still very attached to the ex that just dumped him. But he follows it up. So I decide that yes, he must genuinely be interested in at least sex, and I would like to share it with him because I cared and wanted him to feel better about himself during a rough time. I don't need romantic love for sex, given I barely believe in romantic love full stop. And I thought learning about sex off someone I cared about and trusted was a good, and potentially very fun idea. It came to a point where if we haven't seen eachother in person that day, one of us would call the other. He says he likes me because I'm one of the few people he genuinely trusts and would go out of his way to talk to. I start to feel happy- it scares me because I'm not sure whether I'm meant to be. The rules of the game weren't exactly discussed, and I don't want to expect something that's not on offer.

It's the night before the day I plan to touch base, and talk about exactly what we plan to do here, I come to the pub we've been hanging out in once a week, and there's a girl. Some other girl he just got the number of that day. She's thinner and has dark straight hair and looks a stupid amount like the ex. He spends the night trying to pick her up, and when he fails he takes me and some other vague female friend of his home with him, and lets her sleep in his bed. I cry and almost finish off a full bottle of Cointreau. I take this as rejection. Yet I do ask if he would consider what we had if the ex wasn't such an issue, to which he says he definitely would. But I'm not to wait or anything, in case I line myself up for more hurt.

So I stay away for six weeks, focussing on my uni work and not waiting. Then I get invited to something and he starts being affectionate again. I don't know how to take it, so I freeze, and then it dies without a word of explanation within a couple of months. I decide to say I don't want anything, just to make things easier, so we can both interact with eachother as friends once again. He starts doing stupid shit, like beating me up in front of girls he's interested in (we have a history of playfighting for fun, rather than him showing off as it has been), using my favourite bar as his new pick up turf on days that he knows I'm going to be there, taking his new girls to events I've invited him to, and trying to pick up people I've introduced him to. Who then complain to me. It gets me angry. I shouldn't have to deal with his slut-party if I'm not in it, or account for his women-related ineptitudes to my own female friends.

I'm invited to his birthday, and as a forgiveness gesture I decide to come, but I bring my best high school buddy with me for moral support. He was my best friend for five years, after all. But I bring her just in case something retarded happens. But instead of being there for me, she goes off and fucks him. I get upset and drink myself to pieces again, feeling the hurt I want so fucking desperately to go away once more. I stupidly give them a chance to behave themselves at my own birthday, but instead they act like douchebags and as if they're a couple when they insist they're not. I explode a few days after because I just can't take it any more.

And now I get an email where apparently she's angry at me for overreacting. I'm sorry, I don't think you have a goddamn right to be upset. Maybe you should have thought of that when you simultaneously stabbed me in the back and cheated on your boyfriend. The one you were crying on the phone to me about, when they dumped you, and tried so fucking hard to get back. And managed to get back. Or maybe you should have thought of the consequences when you knew you hurt me, but then still proceeded to rub it in my face at my own fucking birthday party. You're just angry with me because you're angry with yourself, and my hurt is reminding you of why that is.

I've given people chances. And second chances. I've forgiven them multiple times. I'm trying to move on by just staying away and indulging in hobbies. But you know what? These guys were so close to me that every goddamn hobby I have reminds me of at least one of them. I haven't listened to Marilyn Manson for fucking months because I have good memories of them attached to those songs and I just end up crying. I'm upset and heartbroken, and even though I have other friends who care about me a great deal I still feel so fucking alone and rejected, and the stupid submissive part of me feels bad for inconveniencing them with my hurt. I desperately want to just forgive and feel better, because I like being upset about as much as the next person, but I don't know how to make it better if people are going to act like cuntrags, not admit to fault and act as if nothing happened.

There. Grouchetty-Grouch McGrouchpants. I think I win at grouch-couch today.

[Bear]

Okay.. JvD wins the big fluffy couch nearest the snack dispensor for the day. *huggles then mooches back to my own couch under my pile of quilts* mmm.. hi-groucher-bination.

[Platypus]

JVD, it's going to be difficult (emotionally as well as literally, depending on whether you share any classes or work schedules or anything with these people) but I think this is one of those situations where the best thing to do is let yourself drift apart from them. Don't call, if they call you or text or whatever just give excuses about being busy or ignore the attempts to contact you. If you're at a party or bar or club where they happen to be also, ignore them unless they come up to you and then just exchange greetings and a little small talk. Don't act pissed off when they're around, that way maybe they won't feel the need to get into an in depth conversation. Eventually, after having limited to no contact for long enough you'll drift apart from them and won't have to deal with their bullshit nearly as much.

I'm fairly submissive and passive also, so this is generally what happens eventually with friends I don't see or talk to on a regular basis. To some extent I think it's natural with aging and progressing in life, you'll drift apart from a lot of friends. But occasionally it needs to be done consciously.

If you sounded more assertive than me I would suggest telling them outright that you're sick of their crap and you want as little as possible to do with them.

[JVDifferent]

Shortly after their behaviour at my birthday I exploded via email something fierce. I might not be able to handle every face-to-face confrontation, but I'm a wolverine in the written arena. Corner me, and you will get mauled.

I haven't received a peep from him, so he's either a coward, feeling guilty as fuck or just doesn't care, and I got a phone call from her, followed by the angry email. I've let them know that despite my hurt I want to forgive, so I guess it's up to them to get over their bullshit and let themselves be forgiven. If they don't, then it really is their problem. I will miss them, though.

[Platypus]

Yea, I'm the same way with writing. Waay better at putting my thoughts and feelings down that way when I think they will cause confrontation or uncomfortableness. Though usually I find that I end up having to speak to the person after that initial email or letter or whatever, the way you did with your friend. But oh well. It seems like you're handling it all pretty well, though I can definitely understand the need to rant.

[Bear]

Bah.. stupid Jehovahs Witnesses calling around thinking I actually care about their distorted views on religion.... *shakes burning pitchfork at them*

[Platypus]

Uhh... Bear, did you miss the post where Java mentions having been raised a Jehovahs Witness? *raises eyebrow* It was in a different thread... but still...

[Bear]

Nope.. I saw it. Its still annoying them knocking on the door when I'm wanting to go to the bathroom.

[Platypus]

Yea, I agree... Pretty much anyone I don't know knocking on my door when I haven't specifically called for them to (food delivery, etc) annoys me.... and I suppose this is the cranky couch... it just seemed like your wording was a little tactless... sorry, I'll be quiet now....

[Bear]

Yes.. the cranky couch is for grumping and being cranky and complaining. Your let off *beary-huggles*

[JVDifferent]

I made an agreement with myself that next time I get religious door-knockers, I was going to crank up the metal, strip my clothes off, and paint a pentacle of fake blood on my chest, and then open the door to greet them.

"Oh, hey there- can you give me a second? This goat still has a few kicks left in it, but I'll be with you right after..."

[Platypus]

Wow o_o

I would pay to see video of their reaction.

[Bear]

I'd pay to see that too

[Don Alexander]

*Grinchy Sithlord massively approves of this thread*

*gives dump truck full of bacon to Bear*

Actually I would pay to see a video of what the door-knockers see. Who cares about their reactions... I mean... BOOBZ!!! NEKKERS!!! BLOOD PENTACLE!!!

I actually have a pretty large grinch, crank & clank. It's not every day you lose over 1500 € and realize you are going to be living as a pauper for several months more.

But I am too lazy to post details.

*gives huggles to the designated cranky couch huggler Platypus*