Pixie Trix Comix & Hiveworks Community

You're right that there shouldn't be any problem with liking things that you used to dislike. Or even like things that you dislike many aspects of. With the pokemon stuff though, it's still marginally separate. The Go stuff won't have the new pokemon that you, and a ton of people actually, love for a long long time. By the time it does, the furor will have died down.

DnE...Thank you. And I understand how bullying can linger on and on. I don't think I ever thought of it as an issue in this case because I've always found things to be acceptable from things that I don't like overall. I've never been a huge fan of Pokemon, but there are aspects I find cute.

I'm feeling especially low today. I'm so angry and upset at my life situation. I feel like there isn't a single thing going right for me, and when it matters that's been the case for almost the last two years. I'm so tired of being under such constant stress. Even situations where I should have some sort of advantage or foot in the door are going south for me. It's causing me serious sleep issues. Pretty much the only good thing in my life right now is my cat, Saskia.

Every time even a small ray of hope shows up, it always seems to never materialize in person. I have a good friend move only 5 minutes away, someone that I know well and is very physically affectionate that I hope will help with the estrangement from all the rest of humanity. Someone that has voiced every time we do get together how they wish we spent more time together? Now they're always busy, and I feel like if I mention trying to get together to hang out one more time I'm going to become nagging. My father knows someone at CVS to try and get me a job as a pharmacy technician, and there are multiple openings at CVS's in the area I'm moving to? Two weeks later, and I haven't had a single call of interest. There are scores of little, nagging, constant aspects of my life that just aren't working out, and it's exhausting. I just want to remember what it's like to be happy. I just want something to go right in my life so I don't feel like it's better not to try, because every time I try, I fail.

I'm tired of getting most of my food from food pantries. So I'm constantly sniffing at the contents of what I have and wondering, "Is it so spoiled that I will get sick if I eat it?" Eating food that despite my cooking ability is just palatable and bland, if not somewhat sour because it's on the edge of turning when I got it. Of my apartment having that slightly 'bad food' smell like a cheap supermarket.

I'm tired of feeling resentful of my friend Paul. Paul, who when his life started to go well decided he no longer wanted me as a roomie. Who now owns a house with an empty bedroom. Who has over the course of the year lent me over $500 that I owe him, and obviously can't begin to pay him back until I get a job. Paul, who is a peer but has so much more going 'right' in his life as opposed to me. I hate feeling jealous of someone else's life.

I'm just so very lost. I have to move at the end of September, and all through the month of September I'm going to be traveling back and forth to the trailer adjacent to my Mom's place cleaning and painting and tearing down a rickety fence and ugly shed even as I'm packing up all my belongings. Moving is supposed to be one of the more stressful life experiences (death, getting married, losing / starting a new job, moving) and I'm so worried that during the whole process I might snap. I need something new that's good in my life. I'm starting to feel like I'm not allowed to have it.

Thank you, Sway.

thats very unfortunate DnE, I do hope your efforts bear fruit and you can sustain yourself and Saskia once more in a place of your liking.

DnE...HUGS...I think a lot of us know how you're feeling. I wish things were better for you.

I'm basically all alone in the world right now. I don't really have any family--my parents have passed, my brother is basically missing in action, and my sister has recently said some horrible things that has made it so I had to cut her from my life. None of my uncles or aunts or cousins are people I am close with--we only ever see each other at the grocery store or at family reunions--and my grandparents are passed.

I don't have a significant other or kids and I have a total of 2 friends who I hang out with, and one is a social hermit/recluse and the other is his wife, so I barely see them except for once a month or two. Other than that, I have nobody.

Sometimes I wonder if I am such a horrible person that I have nobody in my life. I wonder if I am like the 1 person who I am always afraid of becoming. I mean, that would explain everything, right? Sometimes days go by without me talking to anybody and I can't help but feel like my life at this point is kind of pointless. I have all these accomplishments and nobody to really share them with. I believe in karma, so I have to ask myself if this is what I get. If this is my punishment for... whatever it was that I did wrong. And I wonder if my life will always be like this. I hope not, because it's depressing.

I try to hide how I feel because, let's be honest, nobody really cares if you're struggling emotionally. We ask, "How are you?" but we don't really want to know the answer. We just want to feel good about asking that and have people chant, "Oh you know, living the dream" in our faces while their secret feelings and lives are hidden away behind their social masks. And we paste our mask on too and say, "I hear you", and keep on walking. I know nobody wants to see the darkness that is in my life. They just want me to smile and act happy so that my life isn't an inconvenience to them.

But there are times when I'm lying in bed and I say, what if I just don't wake up tomorrow? And I think, well that'd be okay, I guess.