Pixie Trix Comix & Hiveworks Community

The work. It's an online class, so there's no actual people involved in a social setting. Except during the discussions. Which I kind of boo and hiss at anyway.

Ah, okay...I hope you can figure it out and do what you want to do in the end.

I'm feeling better about it today than I was yesterday. I think venting helped some. College has changed since I've been in it last. They usually don't ask many questions like

How did the rise of industry and urbanization in the South and advancing technology throughout the US, impact the everyday lives of poor families, especially women and children? Be specific.

And if they did, I don't remember it or I didn't hear it. There's two different chapters to look the answer up in, too. Luckily, it gives specific pages. But yeah. It used to be more factual questions and the ones like this were reserved for papers. My BS-fu was stronger back then.

ah BS-fu. how i miss thee.

Don't feel bad, Yira...I can't remember how to really write a stupid academic paper any more.

It's like, I got rid of something and it took a lot of things with it.

Apparently, I'm better than I thought. She graded one of the discussions and, while I did get one point off for.. something (no idea what), she told me "good critical thinking"

One class, I've still got 100% which will probably end when we do the power point project. I am actually short of breath and kind of shaky from checking the grades.

Hey, forum. I have a major confession to make. Like, big. No... BIG. But the funny thing is, it's something I've already shared with the boards before ages ago. It's just that at the time, I never knew there was a term for it.

Yeah, I know, I always make everything into a story. Can't help it.

So, ages back I shared a story about when I was in my early 20's and I knew this girl Heidi. Yes, her real name. Gorgeous girl - platinum blonde, cutesy face, and buxom enough she often needed to have her bras custom made. (Yes, illustrating how attractive she was is important, just follow along.) Heidi and I dated only twice, but there wasn't a connection, so we drifted apart. A few months later, I had just broken up with this other girl and feeling pretty bitter about it when out of the blue Heidi calls me again. Asking if I'd like to give it another try. I actually tell her over the phone that I'm not interested in anything with an emotional connection... and she pauses before responding in an almost chipper, "Okay!" So, we go out on another date, and she's almost throwing herself at me... but I feel increasing creeped out (without understanding why) as it's clear where the date is going to end. I have this realization that what's bothering me is that at that moment, I as person don't matter. Heidi couldn't care less who I was so long as I had a pulse. It actually made me so queasy that I made a really clumsy excuse and nearly ran to my car.

Now, I've often referred to myself as a romantic on these boards. And I've often bemoaned its absence in real life. Even been bothered by what seems to be an active attack on romantic concepts. I've always been pretty sappy.

I've also been outspoken in my support of people in various sexual orientations. It's part of how I ended up reading this comic, and why I moderated it for some time. While I'm not nearly as active as I once was, I'm still around - but it's easier to support a lot of these concepts on my tumblr where it's just a matter of "Oh, I agree with that... click the reblog button!" So, a lot of content that is about open mindedness and being accepting crossing my dashboard on tumblr. And once or twice, I saw this term that was new to me. Demisexual. I had no idea what it meant, but it seemed lumped in with the other orientations that were being treated unfairly, so I didn't consider it too much. Then, a week and a half ago, I had a tumblr post that actually defined it for me. "Demisexual - a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone."

It was like someone pressed a pause button on my brain. "Wait... what? That's a thing? That's... not just me? There are other people like that? I'm not just... weird?" And the more I thought on it, the more it made sense. Little moments in my life that I didn't put together. The Heidi incident was just the biggest, but far from alone as I've rebuffed a few people who just wanted a roll in the hay. It was why the idea of a "hate fuck" always sounded so awful to me. Why the treatment of the term "friendzone" bothered me so much, because to me I'm honestly seeking a romance. I understand that there are really horrible people who try to push their friendship into uncomfortable levels for the sake of a roll in the hay, but again - it's not me. Not even something I'd find appealing, so those who rally against it feel as though they're taunting people for seeking romance in my head. Heck, even the naughty fantasies in my head always include a bit of romantic lead-in story. Tons and tons of little things about myself that I'd always known, but never quite put together as connecting as a whole. Naturally, I started researching it more and more, learning that it wasn't uncommon for someone to be demisexual with attraction to a particular gender.

So... it's really not a huge confession, I guess. It's all the parts of myself that I've always presented myself to be, just with a different label. I'm demisexual.

And this great thing happened, next. I started to think more. "Well, considering that I'm not the typical heterosexual male anymore, I guess I can't call myself straight anymore." Pause. "Wow. That's... I never realized before that moment how subtly unpleasant that term is. Because straight makes you think of direct, true, on course... a straight line. But if you're not straight, it's a bit implying that you're not any of those things. A broken or crooked line. And I'm neither broken or crooked." So, even if it isn't a really big deal, saying that someone is straight because they're heterosexual is something I'm going to try to never say again.

I haven't actually told anyone about this self discovery before now. This forum is the first. I can see it's such a slight distinction, but at the same time it is scary. Because there almost feels to be this safety of just proclaiming, "OH, I'm a straight male". It's a bit vulnerable, because there are so many people who won't understand. But I'm posting this on these boards, because I feel like you guys will understand.

... told you, I couldn't help but make it into a story. ;)

Congrats on more discovery.
It's hard to find those things out because of the feelings being so rare. Also because we assume everyone is like ourselves because we have no other frame of reference for it.

Thank you, Mik. I appreciate the support.

And I think I was actually a bit of the opposite... I've really never been like other people, and I noticed that (in many ways) from a very young age. I always just thought, "So - I'm strange. Okay. There's no one else like me? Gotcha." So it was actually more surprising to find that there were other people like me. Personally, that was the more eye opening aspect of this all.

D'n'E...sometimes having a label makes it feel like it is a version of normal.

I'm only just starting to really get a grasp on the Asperger's, and it's been a huge help to me to do so. It's meant a huge change in how I feel about myself and how I react to a lot of things.

Glad you've been able to find something like that for yourself. There are times I still struggle with some of my sexuality because it... actually seems to come and go. They had a Victoria Secret Swim special on CBS the other night and I was kind of joking in my head "And you wonder if you're bisexua-- DID THEY JUST CHEST BUMP *_*"

An actual confession related to this that's probably going to shock you all... I haven't read Ma3 since I came back to the internet a few months ago. I probably literally have months worth of comic strips to go by just because sex and everything that surrounds it hasn't been appealing to me. At all. Even some of the sexual jokes on the net make me go :\ Other times, it's hilarious.

So yeah, it comes and goes.

Anyway, it has to be a relief to find something that fits you. Even if it's something that you won't share with everyone else. I'd like to say thanks for sharing this with us first. It does mean a lot.

There's this article in Friday's NY Times about sexual desire that I found quite interesting. http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/27/opini ... .html?_r=0
Basically it explains that desire is not necessarily something that happens spontaneously but rather that some people experience desire as a response. (I'm not that good as summarizing right now, so why don't you give it a look.)

As for my (half-hearted) confession: While I share DnE's aversion against sex without an emotional connection, it would seem that I'm rather good at convincing myself nearly instantaneously that there is an connection :-/
(It would also seem that I'm not as good at monogamy as I thought...)

yiraheerai wrote:Glad you've been able to find something like that for yourself. There are times I still struggle with some of my sexuality because it... actually seems to come and go. They had a Victoria Secret Swim special on CBS the other night and I was kind of joking in my head "And you wonder if you're bisexua-- DID THEY JUST CHEST BUMP *_*"

An actual confession related to this that's probably going to shock you all... I haven't read Ma3 since I came back to the internet a few months ago. I probably literally have months worth of comic strips to go by just because sex and everything that surrounds it hasn't been appealing to me. At all. Even some of the sexual jokes on the net make me go :\ Other times, it's hilarious.

So yeah, it comes and goes.

Anyway, it has to be a relief to find something that fits you. Even if it's something that you won't share with everyone else. I'd like to say thanks for sharing this with us first. It does mean a lot.

Would it surprise you if I said I'm similar? That's why I've started to say to people that I'm grey asexual. Most of the time I have no sexual desire, and in fact none before a couple of years ago. But sometimes, men or women catch my eye either in person or online, and I feel something I assume to be sexual feelings. I still don't know what "sexy" is and it's kind of meh to me to figure it out.
For a while I read AVEN, because it is pretty awesome to see posts from others that are so similar. I'd recommend it for both of you by the way. ;) If y'all want to talk about it though

That is an interesting article. AVEN sounds interesting, too. Maybe when I'm done with my homework stuff, I'll dive into it

Yira...I've mentioned before in the rest of the forums that some people are bisexual without it necessarily being evenly spread...for instance Cynthia Nixon is bisexual, but much closer to the lesbian side of the scale than the straight. Gillian Anderson is bisexual, but much closer to the straight side then the lesbian side. Another example is Freddy Mercury who was also bisexual, but more to the gay side than the straight side.

I don't know how to describe my sexual nature...I have a strong sex drive, but I want emotional connection...I'm lesbian...I'm also far more concerned about my partner's pleasure than my own...