Quote-tastic!

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midgetshrimp
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Quote-tastic!

Post by midgetshrimp »

Ok, so every once in a while you hear, see, or say something that becomes a timeless classic in your own little world. Whether being serious or not some phrases just cause great reactions. IE when Oni takes what we say on these forums and "sig's" them. What are some of the best things you've ever heard? One liners, two liners, whathaveyou. I have a couple on the top of my head right now, so I can start it off. Background of the comment helps set the tone.

Ok, so my friend Abe and I were chatting on AIM. I can't remember the whole conversation, but it had something to do with not doing some sort of work or something, and culminated in this comment by me:

You are a terrible slave. That's why your father never loved you. :lol:
He has that on his facebook under his favorite quotes now.

I can't for the life of me remember under what circumstances made me say this:

That makes so much awesome.
For some reason, I think whoever I was talking to threw up a little in their mouth from laughing so hard.

I'll pepper in some more of my favorite quotes now and again as I remember them, but I really want to see some of yours!
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by oni »

:mrgreen: Thanks for the plug, M.S great minds think a like; Comment Siggies is our light into reminding us that we don't always suck, nerdy or otherwise on forums. Pneu been my fav lately!

My personal faves r: *Drum roll please*

Confessions of a Girl Gamer
dianekikiula wrote:Yay Gary! :D Shy, awkward, cute, inexperienced nerds are the best.
X-MEN Remixed
oni wrote:
Pneumonica wrote:I'm all about Didi as Magneto and Zii as Professor Xavier, but I think I just came from the wrong webpage to be posting about this here. :lol:
^_^ Kinky, old men doing the nasty like OHMUHGAWD --SCANDALOUS!
The Three Stooges!
Bear wrote:
Pneumonica wrote:
midgetshrimp wrote:I can't believe I'm talking about Neopets... and I can't believe it took me this long to realize that I've been talking about Neopets... oh god... the shame...
And in a threadjack, too. But that's okay. *patpat* Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards solving it. :P :D
Then the continual mocking, sniggering and pointing from all your peers is the second. :lol:
Pawnage :oops:
aishabe wrote:
Phoenix wrote:
aishabe wrote: And actually...
Sadly, that's somewhat close to scale.
So...you single? ;)
Can you say jailbait?
:lol:
ROFLMAO comment!
Pneumonica wrote:
polarbear925 wrote:Hmmmm...is Erik gonna need a stretcher when Gary and Zii get back? :lol:
"Our surgeons did what they could, but it took them two hours just to get the smile off his face."
T.M.I.
Pneumonica wrote:
Zook wrote:
AniDragon wrote:I just completely proved my lesbianism, didn't I?
Don't you dare beat yourself up Ani we're all friends here.
Lesbians are neato! :geek:
And, incidentally... Zii's got the body type of my fiancee. This puts my mind in places it should not be.
Last edited by oni on Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:23 am, edited 4 times in total.

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MrBishop
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by MrBishop »

In response to anyone saying something that makes no sense whatsoever ---> "I had one once, but the wheels fell off"
In response to anyone asking if I care about something--> "I don't give a flying fuck anymore...not since I twisted my ankle on the landing last time"

Fav. quotes beyond that>
"This too shall pass" - works when everything's going to pot, or when everything's going well.
"Nil humanis a me alienum pota" - Nothing human is alien to me - basically, I've seen it all and it doesn't phase me anymore.
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Arantor
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Arantor »

Ah, one of the classiest quotes in my memory concerns my stepdad. He's an engineer and builds stuff (not always gets finished, mind) and there's bits of electronics everywhere in the house. One day he was fiddling with some code for the program behind one of his projects and couldn't work out what was wrong.

And then, "Confused by his own system."

Doesn't sound much, but you had to be there.
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Bear
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Bear »

My favourite quote of the moment comes courtesy of female American comic Sarah Silverman....

"Sarah Palin, she's like everything thats gross about a beauty pageant contestant, but without the desire for world peace."

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midgetshrimp
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by midgetshrimp »

Ok, remembered a few more. This one is in the fantasy novel Sea of Swords by R.A. Salvatore:

"We need to be reminded sometimes that a sunrise lasts but a few moments. But its beauty will burn in our hearts eternally."

And the last one I can think of today is a quote from one of the Waterman flash animations:

"So I says to him, 'Rectum? Damn near herpes!' ... Wait, maybe I did tell that wrong..."
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Yen sid
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Yen sid »

My favorite quotes are as follows:

When batman and green arrow was in the batplane.
Green arrow: Quiver
GA: This beat the Arrowplane to hell!
BM: Arrow plane? Hmm didn't hear that in years, after you crash it in the alps.
GA: What about the Arrow cave? The arrow car?
BM: GOOD LORD MAN! DIDN'T YOU HAVE ONE ORIGINAL THOUGHT!? (Snicker...owned :lol: )

From the videogame portal:

"The cake is a lie!"

Jay and the silent bob"angel and devil"
Devil Jay: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Man, what the f@ck are you waiting for? She went for the set up. Reach in your pants and pull your c@ck out, bitch! Girls like that kinda sh@t.
Devil Jay 2: [appears out of nowhere] Mua-ha-ha-ha! Right about here is where the angel's supposed to show up and tell you NOT to pull your d@ck out, but we bitch-slapped that motherf@cker and send him packing, so it's smooth sailing. Let it rip boy...
[Both devils disappear]
Angel Jay: [with a black eye, appears out of nowhere and singing] Jesus loves the little children...
[Stops singing]
Angel Jay: Oh sorry I'm late. So what's the deal here?
[looks down at Jay's erection]
Angel Jay: Oh sh@t! Don't tell me your thinking of whipping your d@ck at that fine piece of woman, are you?
[Jay nods. Angel slaps Jay with his harp]
Angel Jay: Tell you what... Look over at Silent Bob and see if he thinks that a good idea to whip your d@ck out.
[Jay looks at Silent Bob with a questioning look. Silent Bob shakes his head]
Angel Jay: That's it boy, put the d@ck down. You gotta go from the heart, yo. No little perv-bullshit's gonna work for this one. Be smooth. Be Don Juan de la Nooch. Now I gotta beat the sh@t out of those punch-sucker little bitches. Remember: Don't pull your d@ck out 'till she asks... or until she's sleeping. BOOOONG...

(Had to edit the hell out of that...)

DEATH NOTE:

Matt: Damn! Those cars were lying in wait! Just exactly how many bodyguards does Takada have?! Alright, time to put up another smoke screen. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Since when have the Japanese been allowed to carry such nice guns? I'm an accomplice in the kidnapping of Takada. Don't you have a bunch of questions to ask me? What's the point in firing---"

Light: "L"

L: "Kira"

Both: "I will hunt you down where ever you are hiding and I will eliminate you."

Light:"I am..."

L:"I am..."

Both:"Justice!"

Batman Villains

Black mask: [When asking by Li if Red Hood is crazy for selling back their kryptonite for $50,000,000] "No. The crazy ones would make a suit out of the rock and march into Metropolis and play 'king of the mountain'. This one knows what he's doing."

Hush: (and I'm so using this line) What is a friend? A single soul residing in two bodies."

Joker: "Ladies and Gentlemen! You've read about it in the papers! Now witness, before your very eyes, that most rare and tragic of nature's mistakes! I give you: the average man. Physically unremarkable, it instead possesses a deformed set of values. Notice the hideously bloated sense of humanity's importance. Also note the club-footed social conscience and the withered optimism. It's certainly not for the squeamish, is it? Most repulsive of all, are its frail and useless notions of order and sanity. If too much weight is placed upon them... they snap. How does it live, I hear you ask? How does this poor pathetic specimen survive in today's harsh and irrational environment? I'm afraid the sad answer is, "Not very well". Faced with the inescapable fact that human existence is mad, random, and pointless, one in eight of them crack up and go stark slavering buggo! Who can blame them? In a world as psychotic as this... any other response would be crazy!"

The guy goes into the hospital, okay? His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and he says, 'Oh, Doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife's delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form. You're one lucky guy.' So the guy rushes into the maternity ward with his flowers. But it's empty. His wife's bed is empty. 'Doc?' He says and turns around and the doctor and all the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face. 'April fool! Your wife's dead and the baby's a spastic!!'" (he executes an asylum orderly with a gunshot to the head) "Get it? Oh what a senseless waste of human life!"


Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants. I come before you, to stand before you, to tell you a story I know nothing about. One bright morning in the middle of the night two dead fellows stood up to fight. They stood back to back, facing each other, drew their swords and shot each other. If you don't believe my lie, it's true, ask the blind lady on the corner, she saw it too."

You actually believed that all it would take is a few chemicals, a couple of days and drug-induced isolation and a cheap little nervous breakdown and you'd have me all figured out? Like there was some rabbit hole you could follow me down to understanding?" You really want to know what it feels like to be the clown at midnight? Where there's only ever one joke and it's always on you? Well, here you are. Now do you get it?"
"Curse you, Teen Titans!" Impulse/Bart Allen

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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Dirty n Evil »

Here are some of my favorite quotes. Some quirky, some thought-provoking, some non-sensical. Of course, there's the one I have quoted in my sig, too.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the road less traveled by and they CANCELLED MY FRIKKIN' SHOW. I totally shoulda took the road that had all those people on it. Damn." Joss Whedon

"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates when he said... I drank what?" Val Kilmer in Real Genius

"We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are." Author Anais Nin

"I equals epic fail!" My co-worker Megan... she's great to goof around with.

"You!" (finger emphatically being poked in my chest) "You, are dirty... and evil!" Girlfriend of a rival hockey team player who granted me this nickname that has lingered for over a decade now. 8-)
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Bear »

And now... a selection of some of my favourite Discworld quotes:

"Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad." --Rincewind, "Interesting Times"

Albert grunted. "Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?"
Mort thought for a moment.
"No," he said eventually, "what?"
There was silence.
Then Albert straightened up and said, "Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right."
--From "Mort"

"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'." --Rincewind, The Color of Magic

Slab: Jus' say "AarrghaarrghpleeassennononoUGH" --Detritus' war on drugs, Feet of Clay

"There were no public health laws in Ankh-Morpork. It would be like installing smoke detectors in Hell."--Feet of Clay

"Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...]" --Carrot (quoting Vimes), Feet of Clay

"The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) Do not interfere with the nature of causality." --Guards! Guards!

"In fact, no gods anywhere play chess. They prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight to Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god's idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs." --Wyrd Sisters

"The vermine is a small black and white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little bastard will do anything rather than let go of it." --Sourcery


"He did of course sometimes have people horribly tortured to death, but this was considered to be perfectly acceptable behaviour for a civic ruler and generally approved of by the overhelming majority of citizens. [footnote: The overhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpion pit] "--Sourcery

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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Dryope »

Mm, quotes, eh? All of the following are from my mother, who is hilarious (and is also a beauty queen, don't hate yo.)

I hold my prejudices close to my heart.

As advice to me and my sisters:

If you're going to be a whore you have to at least be nice to the guys.

You should kiss as many pretty faces as possible before you get married, that way when you're stuck with one person you won't regret your wasted youth.

Mom: You need to date lots of cute guys so I can live vicariously through you
Me: You must be really disappointed in us right now, huh
Mom: Yeah.
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by oni »

O_O
Brutal. Your mom rules!

Mr. Rub it in!
oni wrote:
midgetshrimp wrote:Haha. What can I say? Cock push-ups. "Not at first... but over time." :P
Big time way to rub it in ego bruiser :lol:
Last edited by oni on Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Pneumonica »

Quote my father, for the win:

"If God didn't want me to be a free thinker, he wouldn't have given me so many idiots I don't want to be like."
Further affiant sayeth not.

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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by midgetshrimp »

Ok, I seem to be doing this in pairs. I heard this in a miniclip on the radio, with the voice of Christopher Walken:
Let's face it, you guys are ridiculous. You're rude, greedy, boarish. You're a bunch of fat, oil-guzzling ham-faces.
And my friend has this quote as his AIM status right now, from Boondock Saints, after the cat gets shot:
I can't believe that just happened! Is it dead?
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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by aishabe »

Well, recently my AP World History teacher gave us this gem:
The stock market's a mixed bag of nuts these days.
Also,
John Locke is the gateway drug of the Enlightenment.
Shakespeare is a very good source for quotes, too.
Lady Macbeth:
How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me-
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have plucked my nipple from his boneless gums,
And dashed the brains out...
Good stuff.
Oh, and this song from Family Guy always cheers me up.
There once were two cowboys all alone out on the trails.
They discovered they could sleep with another male.
They were having butt sex, cowboy butt sex.
Sodomyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, sodomyyyyyy, sodomy.
:D
Lady High Vice Mistress, Mistress of Vices

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Re: Quote-tastic!

Post by Yen sid »

A qoute in my Web comic Life among dogs:

Jason: I'M NOT A BAD GUY! I Just used my wealth, tak kwon do,
Venik: And Good looks.
Jason: ...And good looks to do bad things, Am I really an dick?
Venik (stand still for an second then the next comic window) YES.
(Kick Jason in the gut.)
"Curse you, Teen Titans!" Impulse/Bart Allen

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