Pixie Trix Comix & Hiveworks Community

So I gone done started posting my comic online.

http://thisiswherewebelong.smackjeeves.com/

It be updating Mondays and Thursdays.

I will be expecting your adoration now, but surely I will be disappointed.

Seriously, though, let me know what you think. Be as brutal as necessary, but do try to be constructive please.

Looking back at it, though, I can see why it didn't get a response from the folks at YenPress. Some significant storytelling problems, methinks. But whatever, there it is.

It's a good start, I just hope the introduction won't take too long. I'm looking forward for the action scenes, I'll probably criticize that area the most.

[EDIT]: Forgot to mention that some of the eyes and hands are drawn incorrectly, but those should be easy to fix.

Hands. The bane of my existence.

Well, whatever. Also, some of those "significant storytelling problems" I mentioned earlier are there because I front-loaded the thing with backstory which, in retrospect, was probably unnecessary. So it does take a while to hit the more actiony parts.

Anyways, please stick around. It might get better.

But the hands won't. I've always had some trouble with that.

I like the artstyle, I really loved pg.2, the back layouts with the boxes were tight, the expressions were good.

Ok, lineweight is the biggest problem I see, abit of anatomy, some perspective. The intro took abit maybe you should have given abit of detail right off the bat of the main character's fighting abilities.

Keep at it~

yesterdayshero wrote:I like the artstyle, I really loved pg.2, the back layouts with the boxes were tight, the expressions were good.

Thanks!

Ok, lineweight is the biggest problem I see

[/quote]

I've fixed the line weight issue... ...32 pages later.

I was using brush pens for this prologue, but I've since switched to brush and ink. That solved, like, half the problems there. My line weights are still a bit thick, but I kinda like it as is. I might try a nib pen next. Results might not be in for a while, however.

Lol ok then, so is this the Yen entry or a webcomic?

yesterdayshero wrote:Lol ok then, so is this the Yen entry or a webcomic?

This was the Yen entry. Turning it into a webcomic now, I suppose, although it was always meant to be the first of a long-running series.

Excellent will follow~

shutupadrian wrote:Hands. The bane of my existence.

Well, whatever. Also, some of those "significant storytelling problems" I mentioned earlier are there because I front-loaded the thing with backstory which, in retrospect, was probably unnecessary. So it does take a while to hit the more actiony parts.

Anyways, please stick around. It might get better.

But the hands won't. I've always had some trouble with that.

Just try different ways to draw hands and maybe you'll find a helpful method.
And we'll see if these back stories does make a negative impact on the pacing of the entire thing. It's too early to determine that right now.

Art is nice, but as already mentioned, hands seem to be off at times. Can't say much about the story since it's only started, but I'll definitely watch as it updates.

Been trying to fix some hands on the chapter I'm currently working on. Hopefully it's getting better.

I really do enjoy this handjob...

yesterdayshero wrote:I really do enjoy this handjob...

Thanks, but it remains to be seen whether or not there's a happy ending.

Hey all.

Thought I'd mention that the last of the 32 pages was posted the other night, and so now my (failed) submission to the Yen Press "Talent Search" is up in its entirety.

First page here: http://thisiswherewebelong.smackjeeves. ... 01-page-1/

Critique away.

Also...

=///= Looks yummy!