10-02-16 Love dessert

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Spidrift
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Re: 10-02-16 Love dessert

Post by Spidrift » Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:46 pm

True, yeah, she missed Zii's pass. That was just way out of her frame of reference, and she was a bit excited at the time. She's still learning.

Andy's error, though, was nothing to do with "political correctness" and everything to do with old-fashioned politeness. You don't assume another person's consent in a serious and intimate matter. You just don't. Miss Manners would be clear on that. Andy is probably being a twit rather than a jerk, but it was still a lapse of badic courtesy.
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brasca
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Re: 10-02-16 Love dessert

Post by brasca » Fri Feb 12, 2016 6:03 pm

The problem is a lot of the old fashioned politeness is tied to a bygone era where Andy would be expected to contact Ruby's parents before asking her on a date. A lot of these rules are archaic or in a murky grey area these days. Andy should be respectful and is, but if one is overly polite then they accomplish nothing because they are too afraid to say the wrong thing or hurt someone's feelings. By broaching the subject of taking things to the next level he's made a declaration of interest whereas taking no initiative could communicate a lack of interest and boredom.

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Spidrift
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Re: 10-02-16 Love dessert

Post by Spidrift » Fri Feb 12, 2016 6:17 pm

He's welcome to broach the subject; he can ask, but he can't assume. And this is a basic rule, unrelated to old-fashioned courtship rules. He was welcome to ask her out for dinner (and she said yes); he wasn't entitled to assume that she'd come until he had asked. He could ask to borrow a dollar from her; he couldn't just take it from her purse. Why should he feel entitled to assume that she'd consent to whatever "taking it to the next level" means, without even asking?

Unless it does turn out to be something totally innocuous, of course.
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Spidrift
"Brevior vita est quam pro futumentibus negotium agendo."
-- Motto of Hogshead Publishing of fond memory, and wise words to set your Foes List by.
Avatar misappropriated from the wonderful XKCD.

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Don Alexander
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Re: 10-02-16 Love dessert

Post by Don Alexander » Fri Feb 12, 2016 8:25 pm

brasca wrote:I'm also surprised there isn't more of a reaction. Perhaps some of the more short tempered posters imploded after the previous controversies.
Perhaps they have all been banned. :P
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brasca
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Re: 10-02-16 Love dessert

Post by brasca » Sun Feb 14, 2016 3:47 pm

Well I can think of one in particular recently unless you're including last year's mass banhammering of the Amber slut shamers.
Spidrift wrote:He's welcome to broach the subject; he can ask, but he can't assume. And this is a basic rule, unrelated to old-fashioned courtship rules. He was welcome to ask her out for dinner (and she said yes); he wasn't entitled to assume that she'd come until he had asked. He could ask to borrow a dollar from her; he couldn't just take it from her purse. Why should he feel entitled to assume that she'd consent to whatever "taking it to the next level" means, without even asking?

Unless it does turn out to be something totally innocuous, of course.
Perhaps I'm being a little overly sensitive about this subject because I'm trying to break out of my comfort zone and actually seek a social life, but I get so hung up on all the little rules and overthink every single word I say or move I make that I end up doing nothing. Sure people like Andy may stumble, but they are at least taking the initiative to ask and I wish I could abandon convention and risk being so clumsy because I'm getting nowhere staying in neutral.

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