29-05-2015 Hard for you to understand

[JoybuzzerX]

yes Kouta

she is seeing herself as Rudy and doing Yaoi with him

simply Ruby has feelings for Dill, but knows he would never want to be with Ruby, but maybe Rudy?...................

That would be my guess too, though it could just be that when she's imaging the scene between her and a gay guy and Dillion is the first to pop into her head, as he's the one she has more contact with as well as him being hot

[Artemisia]

With someone who is gender fluid, I'm not entirely certain, but there are trans men who are gay. Even those who have not had phalloplasty (wherein they create the external male genitals) consider anything that they do sexually to be gay. Basically, remove the genitals from the equation. When Angel is with Jerzy, he's gay. Probably he keeps his binder on to maintain the persona.

It gets to be very complicated. I've known a few bi-romantic lesbians who are willing to date pre/non-op trans men, post-op trans women and cis women, but not post-op trans men, pre/non-op trans women or men.

I think she's talking about his perception during the act. She can obviously have sex with a guy as a female, but he can also have sex with a guy as a male. That is, he wants to be perceived as male by both himself and his partner while having sex, because that makes it realer for him.

I can't quite explain it, and perhaps Artemisia has a better grasp of the needed vocabulary, but what Angel said made sense to me. A transwoman can have intercourse with a straight guy, and both of them consider the act heterosexual, so this is possibly along the same lines/

[Spidrift]

Okay, so now the question is: Does this imply Ruby has acknowledged certain things about herself?

Define "acknowledged". The human capacity for self-deception is amazing.

Stuff about Ruby keeps crashing into her imagination in Size 12 hobnail boots, and she can't actually ignore or deny it. But she can keep telling herself that this is stupid, her imagination playing tricks, and not significant.

You've heard of gay people being in denial? Well, Ruby is currently a heterosexual in (weak) denial.

[Don Alexander]

Not so much thinking of her sexual orientation but maybe even her gender. Or at least the "solidness" of her gender.

[brasca]

I find it amusing that when Ruby imagines herself as Rudy making love to Dillon he's got an idealized trim and muscular body when in reality he would look more like Yvan with his shirt off.

[Spidrift]

Not so much thinking of her sexual orientation but maybe even her gender. Or at least the "solidness" of her gender.

Really I think that Ruby is just looking for excuses to imagine herself geting naked with a hot guy. If Respectable-Ruby couldn't possibly do that, maybe an alternate persona could. And now it turns out that this other girl has a male persona who does exactly that...

Makes one wonder what may eventually be unleashed on Andy or someone. Not necessarily a male, but maybe a very different Ruby?

[Cortez]

yes Kouta

she is seeing herself as Rudy and doing Yaoi with him

simply Ruby has feelings for Dill, but knows he would never want to be with Ruby, but maybe Rudy?...................

Or at least likes the idea of "Rudy" hooking up with Dillon.

[JoybuzzerX]

Not so much thinking of her sexual orientation but maybe even her gender. Or at least the "solidness" of her gender.

Really I think that Ruby is just looking for excuses to imagine herself geting naked with a hot guy. If Respectable-Ruby couldn't possibly do that, maybe an alternate persona could. And now it turns out that this other girl has a male persona who does exactly that...

Makes one wonder what may eventually be unleashed on Andy or someone. Not necessarily a male, but maybe a very different Ruby?

She'd be with a guy and have her yaoi love at the same time!

[LegendaryKroc]

...Oh no. Oh no. She's going to try seducing a good-looking guy, possibly even Dillon, using her Rudy disguise, isn't she? Angel, what horrors have you wrought upon this world?!

[Spidrift]

I think that there's still a large gap between Ruby's uncontrolled fantasies and the things that she'd actually do. After all, part of the joke is that she can still shock and irritate herself.

[LegendaryKroc]

Sure, it's all in her head, literally even, for the time being, but who knows? I wouldn't have pegged her for the sort who would go in for guy-on-guy action - not really my thing, but to each their own - and yet she got hook-diddly-hooked to that yaoi she bought, not to mention her behaviour during the events surrounding Dillon and Ray's makeout scene from earlier. As an aside, I like Ray. Will he be coming back? I agree that Ruby has personal ethics and strives to act like the good, chaste person she considers herself to be (not a baseless belief) - indeed, such traits made her a good friend for Dillon to have given that his original run in Mà3 didn't paint a flattering portrait of him where personal rules/boundaries and self-control were concerned - but those events show that she does, unfortunately, have something of a selish reflex and the capacity to be ruled by her passions. Neither is bad purely on their own (nothing wrong with looking out for no. 1 on occasion), but if they drove her to actually act on Angel's advice, then depending on circumstances something could go very wrong.

The reason I say that is this: if she seduced some guy while disguised as a boy and he was cool with it when he inevitably found out, that would be okay; I don't mind whatever people do in their private lives as long as it's legal and no one gets hurt. But somehow I don't think Dillon, just for an easy example, would appreciate it that much - and in his case, especially not when it's Ruby of all people.

[wiseguy]

if Ruby does it as Rudy, and since Dillon already knows Rudy.................... than he would enter it fully well knowing the exact score, thus there is no room for him not to appreciate it ;)

[Spidrift]

Sure, it's all in her head, literally even, for the time being, but who knows? I wouldn't have pegged her for the sort who would go in for guy-on-guy action - not really my thing, but to each their own - and yet she got hook-diddly-hooked to that yaoi she bought, not to mention her behaviour during the events surrounding Dillon and Ray's makeout scene from earlier.

I suspect that there may be a tiny bit of author appeal in Ruby's tastes.

As an aside, I like Ray. Will he be coming back?

Yes.

I agree that Ruby has personal ethics and strives to act like the good, chaste person she considers herself to be (not a baseless belief) - indeed, such traits made her a good friend for Dillon to have given that his original run in Mà3 didn't paint a flattering portrait of him where personal rules/boundaries and self-control were concerned - but those events show that she does, unfortunately, have something of a selish reflex and the capacity to be ruled by her passions.

Frankly, though I agree that Ruby tries hard to be a good person by her own lights (and is a lot more self-aware about it than anybody else in the setting), this part isn't really about her being "good" or "bad". She has a virgin's nervousness about sex, she has a large emotional commitment to the idea that "silly lovey-dovey stuff is a waste of time and more trouble than it's worth", and most of all, she's terrified of having people laugh at her. (And she'll worry that admitting to being a virgin will make her look naive and weird to other people, plus getting naked with anyone for the first time involves the chance that they'll find your body strange somehow.) Even if and when she decides that she'd like to go to bed with a guy, all that's going to be a significant barrier to doing anything about it; proposing to be weird and kinky about it is likely to be really difficult.

Which may not stop her. She's clearly a woman of strong appetites with a lot to get out of her system, and she's not a coward. But it makes it very possible that she'll be slow to act on her impulses.

Neither is bad purely on their own (nothing wrong with looking out for no. 1 on occasion), but if they drove her to actually act on Angel's advice, then depending on circumstances something could go very wrong.

Angel's advice seems to be purely technical; I don't think she's deliberately pushing Ruby in any particular direction. And of course stuff may go wrong; the only thing that makes me think that Ruby's first experiments in sexual activity may not be a total comedy disasters is the fact that the authors seem to have some small sympathy for her.

The reason I say that is this: if she seduced some guy while disguised as a boy and he was cool with it when he inevitably found out, that would be okay; I don't mind whatever people do in their private lives as long as it's legal and no one gets hurt. But somehow I don't think Dillon, just for an easy example, would appreciate it that much - and in his case, especially not when it's Ruby of all people.

Oh, I don't think that she'll lay a finger on Dillon (not while awake, anyway). On the one hand, he's a safe fantasy figure for her, and on the other, she's got him in a kind of rock solid friend zone. Crossing the line into sexual contact would be emotionally bizarre, even if she could engineer it.

Getting kinky with, say, Andy, might be a different matter. She knows that he seems to have a sort of open-minded view of the idea of kissing a guy, and she might conceivably decide to trust him far enough to ask him to help her get past her hang-ups with a little roleplay. But that would run the terrible risk that he'd laugh at her, and even if she did ask and he said yes, I think it'd just be foreplay leading into an entirely heterosexual sort of act.