'J' wrote:
ok first of all: No, you do not get to tell someone who they can be friends with just because you are in a relationship with them. that behavior is actually one of the clinically recognized warning signs of an abusive relationship. if dillon was unable to deal with his jealousy like an adult, then it was his responsibility to make a clean break for both their benefit; not to try and force his boyfriend into a no-win choice between love and friendship.
second of all: we're not talking about 'being concerned and checking up on things', we are talking about literally putting on a disguise so that dillon could stalk and spy on his boyfriend. (trying to constantly keep tabs on a partner is also a warning sign for abusive relationships, btw). and dillon doesn't get a pass on his unhealthy & controlling behavior, just because 'he's dillon & that's sort of his thing'.
[and to the overly literal-minded people in the crowd, i'm not saying dillon & jerzy's relationship was actually abusive, i'm saying it was unhealthy]
yeah, jerzy did a bad thing by not being up front with dillon. but between them dillon & angel had him in a no-win situation; trying to force him to choose between loyalty to his oldest friend & his new boyfriend. so he chose the third path and tried to get away with hurting neither of them. ironically, it was dillon's lack of trust that led to jerzy's violation that non-existent trust.
and ultimately, between the two of them pulling him in opposite directions, and the complete lack of trust on dillon's part, it was a doomed relationship from the start.
Oh it was unhealthy from day one, without a doubt. Jerzy has a clingy stalker and loves the attention, and Dillion was just getting over being cheated on by matt and had more-then-normal trust issues. It was doomed to Hindenburg.
My point is, when someone's friend is being toxic to the relationship, you don't have to just sit there and take that. You speak up.
Now, if Angel wasn't a clingy bloody stalker, and Dillon was saying "Hey, I don't like your friend, get rid of them" Then fine, abusive sign.
But when you're sitting there watching, said "friend" dry hump your SO's leg and hissing at you, then.. Fuck that noise.
No one deserves to be in that kind of relationship, and Dillon made it clear he wasn't going to be part of a relationship as toxic as jerzy/angel.
And it was pretty shitty of Jerzy to put both StalkerMcJemVillian and WhinyMcCrossdresser in the position he did.
He was fully aware of Angel, aware of what Angel does, and he STILL tries to get into relationships while not dealing with Angel's antics.
THAT'S A SHIT THING TO DO TO ANY POTENTIAL DATING PARTNER.
He's that asshole at the dog park with a terrier that keeps biting every dog in the park and refuses to keep it on it's leash or pick up it's crap, because " They have people for that" and "Oh it's harmless, he's just playing!"