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Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010
Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:41 pm
by MuchachoNL
Deary Frankie Claws,
I've been very Ebil this year because I have scared the shit out of little kids with my white contact lenses.
Just wearing them outside make the kids run for mommy's skirt and even the tougher guys go "whoa!" and step back. It's fun.
Also I've been very Ebil this year to a lady friend of mine who wears too much make-up.
She just couldn't be reasoned with... so I gave here some putty knives for her birthday to plaster on the putty that she calls "make up".
Also I love to scare the shit out of my mom because... well... she just scares so easily.
Last month I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and I found out that she was using it.
So I hid behind the door and when she opened it and went out without flushing I said in my most Ebil voice "Thou shalt flush thine toilet!!!"
She almost hit the roof when she jumped.
Also I've started a new job as IT Service Desk Engineer and I always prank my colleagues.
I put a little tape on the bottom of the optical mice, or put a screenshot of a broken TFT screen as a slideshow and unplug the mouse and keyboards.
I hope I'm Ebil enough for you.
Signed MuchachoNL
Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry
Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:07 pm
by midgetshrimp
Dear Frankie Claws,
I have been spectacularly ebil this year. First and foremost, I assisted in (alledgedly) "usurping" control of this fine foruming establishment from a tyrant. Secondly, I worked all summer to thwart the pure, wondrous snow by completely re-shingling our crappy roof and rebuilding a dormer. I have shared the wonders of the Tim Tam Slam with coworkers just so that they could feel the emptiness inside when there were no more Tim Tams to be had. This thought keeps me warm on these cold nights as I slam my Tim Tams in delicious teas and cocoas. Most importantly, though, I have slaved for 9 months for the sol purpose of defecting to another country. These dire efforts will come to fruition in a short 8 days, soon after which I will (possibly tie up and) ravish a beautiful woman. I've been a bad boy, Frankie Claws. What are you going to do about it?
Exuberant High Captain Messiah and Modly Pirate Jesus,
Midgetshrimp
Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry
Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:17 pm
by Lighthawk
Deary Frankie Claws,
I've been very Ebil this year because...
*ahem* Mi mi mi mi miiii…
Ooooooooo…I’ve turned rotten this yeeeaaarrr…
I’ve done right horrible things I feeeeaaaaarrr…
You see, some habits of mine have chaaaannnngggeeeddd…
My sense of right and wrong, reeeeaaaarrrrraaaanggggeeeeddd…
I’ve given in to this dark, whispering whiiiiimmmmm…
In pains me to admit, but I’ve become a killer GGGGMMMMMM!
Oh I’ve been slaughtering my PCs without remorse
For all the times they’ve gone off course
And all the plot hooks they’ve passed by
Now all I want is for them to die die die!
I’m tired of worrying about all their so called needs
So I busted out my book of evil deeds
And dusted off the Tomb of Horrors
To punish these casual explorers
Now I’m giving out cursed items by the score
And gleefully assigning death whenever a roll is poor
I chuckle with malice behind my GM screen
Where my fudged die rolls can not be seen
They no longer try to take my story off its tracks
For fear of ancient demonic dragon attacks
They swallow every hook like obedient PCs
Less I stricken their characters with an incurable disease
I’ve ruled crits to result in amputations
And nat 1s to cause decapitations
I’ve even been such a rotten dude
To say they’ve died from a lack of food
Watching them forced into character reroll
Tis a thing that warms my wicked little soul
And if the mood hits me right perhaps I may
Decided to go for it all with a TPK
Ah what a scoundrel I’ve become
Isn’t it terrible how I squash their fun
And cackle at them fuming and hating
When I send them mobs above their challenge rating
But now before you think me truly filled with badness
Keep in mind I have a method to my madness
And hope that soon one of them will agree
To trade me spots and let me finally play as my own PC
Signed
-Lighthawk
Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry
Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:35 pm
by Don Alexander
Dear Frankie Claws!!
I have but ONE thing to say.
This year, I moved from being "just" the Nr. 1 spammer on this forum to being a
MODERATOR!!!!!
I am, now,
The Man!!!
What could be more
EBIL than that????
Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry
Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:46 am
by yiraheerai
Dearest Frankie Claws,
I have to say, I have some very ebil tendencies run through me through the years. It's consistent and simplistic, so you would think people wouldn't fall for it time and time again but they do. This feeds into a circle of never-ending ebil and people's attempts to thwart or pay me back rarely ever work.
It's quite simple, Frankie Claws, for you see I combine an innate ability to sneak up on people with nearly perpetually cold hands. Sometimes it's on a whim simply because I notice their obliviousness to my presence and use it to attack. Other times, it's intentional because I can feel the ice on my fingertips and just have to find someone to freeze with them.
I slip ice cold hands under the shirts of unsuspecting parents and friends. I ninja-attack ankles, knees and thighs just to hear the squeal and hiss my poor prey. Sometimes I tap a beat with my fingertips and they lay or stand there, just as frozen as the hands that touched them.
So I hope you can see that an ebil one is... me ;)
Yiraheerai
Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:48 am
by Don Alexander
Voting is up!
