Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry *VOTE NOW!*

Past glories of the forum.

Moderators: Don Alexander, midgetshrimp

Post Reply

Who was the EBILest of them all???

Poll ended at Mon Dec 27, 2010 6:46 am

MuchachoNL
2
13%
midgetshrimp
1
6%
Lighthawk
6
38%
Don Alexander
3
19%
yiraheerai
4
25%
 
Total votes: 16

User avatar
MuchachoNL
Menace to Society
Posts: 998
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2010 2:17 pm
Location: The Netherlands

Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010

Post by MuchachoNL » Fri Dec 03, 2010 7:41 pm

Deary Frankie Claws,

I've been very Ebil this year because I have scared the shit out of little kids with my white contact lenses.
Just wearing them outside make the kids run for mommy's skirt and even the tougher guys go "whoa!" and step back. It's fun.
Also I've been very Ebil this year to a lady friend of mine who wears too much make-up.
She just couldn't be reasoned with... so I gave here some putty knives for her birthday to plaster on the putty that she calls "make up".
Also I love to scare the shit out of my mom because... well... she just scares so easily.
Last month I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and I found out that she was using it.
So I hid behind the door and when she opened it and went out without flushing I said in my most Ebil voice "Thou shalt flush thine toilet!!!"
She almost hit the roof when she jumped.
Also I've started a new job as IT Service Desk Engineer and I always prank my colleagues.
I put a little tape on the bottom of the optical mice, or put a screenshot of a broken TFT screen as a slideshow and unplug the mouse and keyboards.
I hope I'm Ebil enough for you.

Signed MuchachoNL
Freudian Slip: When you say one thing, but mean your mother... err... another.
Image

User avatar
midgetshrimp
Modly Pirate Jesus
Posts: 5044
Joined: Tue Jun 17, 2008 3:32 am
Location: Maine, USA
Contact:

Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry

Post by midgetshrimp » Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:07 pm

Dear Frankie Claws,

I have been spectacularly ebil this year. First and foremost, I assisted in (alledgedly) "usurping" control of this fine foruming establishment from a tyrant. Secondly, I worked all summer to thwart the pure, wondrous snow by completely re-shingling our crappy roof and rebuilding a dormer. I have shared the wonders of the Tim Tam Slam with coworkers just so that they could feel the emptiness inside when there were no more Tim Tams to be had. This thought keeps me warm on these cold nights as I slam my Tim Tams in delicious teas and cocoas. Most importantly, though, I have slaved for 9 months for the sol purpose of defecting to another country. These dire efforts will come to fruition in a short 8 days, soon after which I will (possibly tie up and) ravish a beautiful woman. I've been a bad boy, Frankie Claws. What are you going to do about it?

Exuberant High Captain Messiah and Modly Pirate Jesus,

Midgetshrimp
Exuberant High Captain Mod-siah of the Elder Council, Grand Official Bard.
Who needs sex when you have Menage a 3?

Image

User avatar
Lighthawk
Killer GM
Posts: 2828
Joined: Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:27 pm
Location: Where the dice fall...

Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry

Post by Lighthawk » Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:17 pm

Deary Frankie Claws,

I've been very Ebil this year because...

*ahem* Mi mi mi mi miiii…

Ooooooooo…I’ve turned rotten this yeeeaaarrr…

I’ve done right horrible things I feeeeaaaaarrr…

You see, some habits of mine have chaaaannnngggeeeddd…

My sense of right and wrong, reeeeaaaarrrrraaaanggggeeeeddd…

I’ve given in to this dark, whispering whiiiiimmmmm…

In pains me to admit, but I’ve become a killer GGGGMMMMMM!

Oh I’ve been slaughtering my PCs without remorse
For all the times they’ve gone off course
And all the plot hooks they’ve passed by
Now all I want is for them to die die die!

I’m tired of worrying about all their so called needs
So I busted out my book of evil deeds
And dusted off the Tomb of Horrors
To punish these casual explorers

Now I’m giving out cursed items by the score
And gleefully assigning death whenever a roll is poor
I chuckle with malice behind my GM screen
Where my fudged die rolls can not be seen

They no longer try to take my story off its tracks
For fear of ancient demonic dragon attacks
They swallow every hook like obedient PCs
Less I stricken their characters with an incurable disease

I’ve ruled crits to result in amputations
And nat 1s to cause decapitations
I’ve even been such a rotten dude
To say they’ve died from a lack of food

Watching them forced into character reroll
Tis a thing that warms my wicked little soul
And if the mood hits me right perhaps I may
Decided to go for it all with a TPK

Ah what a scoundrel I’ve become
Isn’t it terrible how I squash their fun
And cackle at them fuming and hating
When I send them mobs above their challenge rating

But now before you think me truly filled with badness
Keep in mind I have a method to my madness
And hope that soon one of them will agree
To trade me spots and let me finally play as my own PC

Signed
-Lighthawk

Holder of the Elder Scepter of Ebilnes, Elected Supreme Ruler
"Who are you? I mean, you're me, but I'm me too. How can there be two 'me's? It's not scientifically possible. You are not scientifically possible!" -Twilight Sparkle, to her future self.
Yira wrote:Whatever, labels are stupid. ...Unless it's a label gun, then we're talking tons of fun. "Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! ...This is an awesome bar stool, but you can have it."

User avatar
Don Alexander
Dr. Ebil SithMod
Posts: 27533
Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:26 am
Location: Under the arms of the ancient oak, where daylight hangs by a lunar noose...

Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry

Post by Don Alexander » Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:35 pm

Dear Frankie Claws!!

I have but ONE thing to say.

This year, I moved from being "just" the Nr. 1 spammer on this forum to being a MODERATOR!!!!!

I am, now, The Man!!!

What could be more EBIL than that???? :ymdevil:
ImageImage
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's Image, in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!! Image
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)

User avatar
yiraheerai
Peach Fuzzball of Doom
Posts: 8318
Joined: Mon Dec 06, 2010 5:55 am

Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry

Post by yiraheerai » Wed Dec 22, 2010 1:46 am

Dearest Frankie Claws,

I have to say, I have some very ebil tendencies run through me through the years. It's consistent and simplistic, so you would think people wouldn't fall for it time and time again but they do. This feeds into a circle of never-ending ebil and people's attempts to thwart or pay me back rarely ever work.

It's quite simple, Frankie Claws, for you see I combine an innate ability to sneak up on people with nearly perpetually cold hands. Sometimes it's on a whim simply because I notice their obliviousness to my presence and use it to attack. Other times, it's intentional because I can feel the ice on my fingertips and just have to find someone to freeze with them.

I slip ice cold hands under the shirts of unsuspecting parents and friends. I ninja-attack ankles, knees and thighs just to hear the squeal and hiss my poor prey. Sometimes I tap a beat with my fingertips and they lay or stand there, just as frozen as the hands that touched them.

So I hope you can see that an ebil one is... me ;)

Yiraheerai
A mask, any mask, whether horned like a beast or feathered like an angel is the face of immortality. Meet me in Cognito, baby. In Cognito, we'll have nothing to hide. - Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins

User avatar
Don Alexander
Dr. Ebil SithMod
Posts: 27533
Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:26 am
Location: Under the arms of the ancient oak, where daylight hangs by a lunar noose...

Re: Christmas Ebilness Contest: 2010 Rules and Entry

Post by Don Alexander » Thu Dec 23, 2010 6:48 am

Voting is up! :ymparty:
ImageImage
Sithlord of the Sithling and best customer of McLovecraft's Image, in the business of keeping the little Platypus in business
Moderations in GREEN and signed by the DAMNed. I am not anonymous! Also, MODSMACK!! Image
Winner of the... 2010 Kilopost FRANKIE; 2010 Mad March Nom Off; 2010 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2010 Fan-Thing Contest; 2010 Mimic Contest (tied); 2011 Joker Cleavage Contest; 2011 Contest-for-the-next-Contest (tied)

Post Reply