Okay... it's a very rare thing that I ever contribute to this thread, but here we go.
So, I never have any romantic interest garnered locally, and in the past all of the individuals who have expressed such online always seem to disappear after not too long. Making me feel more used for some temporary attention than anything. And it didn't elude my mind that come November 1st I would have been single for a full 11 years.
Except... a couple months back, I was hanging out on this chat server and while I'm not as forwards about talking about things, I was sharing little clips of me singing with Vocaroo. A lot of people liked my singing, so it was very good and helped my poor battered self esteem quite a lot. In particular, there was this one young lady who messaged me a few times that asked for a song here or there in a certain sort of mood. It made me slightly memorable, and I sort of became known as "that guy who serenaded the room one night". In particular the one person who messaged me was very warm and friendly from that point and liked to chat with me, which was nice flirting and joking with someone but I'd become fairly jaded and just took it as a bit of fun.
But over a couple of months, we kept chatting. I would sing every once in a while, and I found out that I could really fluster her if I sent a recording of myself talking in a bedroom voice. So, we joked and flirted more. This is over several months, and we're talking and just being friendly. Then someone makes a Discord channel where a lot of the people from that chat site could come and take turns singing. Obviously I join in, as does she. However, we're still teasing and flirting with one another only now we're actually talking to one another on Discord, and it becomes immediately noticeable to everyone. We're getting constant comments thrown our way about how everyone is 'shipping' us.
Which leads to us talking more one on one, because it's clear that we have this chemistry that is so obvious we can't deny it. People have been private messaging me, making sure that I'm not just playing with her emotions and wondering if I really like her. After a bit of talking, we decide... yes, there's certainly something here. Something more than simply playful flirting and joking around. So, we talk discussing more serious subjects. All those topics that you commonly walk on eggshells about. Surprisingly, we have so much in common in our points of view that those tricky subjects glide by, or when we don't see eye to eye there's such an environment of understanding and communication that it doesn't feel like a conflict. We're talking with so much honesty and sincerity, it's the best communication I've ever had in any relationship in my life.
There is one major hurdle between us, though... we live quite literally on opposite sides of the globe. We're 12 hours difference, because she lives in the Philippines - which surprises me when she mentioned it, because she speaks clearer and less accented English than most Americans. She's going to college to be a lawyer, which means that she's going to be tied up with that for the next several years. However, we talk about it and accept that it might be years before we ever meet face to face. And we have also been honest and said that if either of us meet someone before then and there are romantic feelings present, we're going to be honest and tell the other. But, we've both experienced the "everyone always overlooks me here" followed by a response of "how can you have been single for so long since you're so attractive and a wonderful person?"
We've been watching movies and television shows together on this website where you watch the same screen and have an open microphone so you can chat with one another. Over the last two days, we binge watched the Netflix show 'Sense8'. In between episodes, flirting and teasing and joking with one another. We've been talking about the mutual interest between each other for the last three weeks at this point, and we're making each other so happy. However, at one point yesterday she has to go out and drop something off with a family member present, so we switch to Skype to chat. Her aunt is curious about me, and they switch to her family's language that I can't understand... but I pick out the mention of "Florida", and after a second question there's a pause and an answer of "I don't know." When she drops off her aunt, she confirms there were questions about me, but gets flustered. Telling me to ask her when she gets home, hoping I forget because she's embarrassed. I don't forget.
When she's settled in again, I finally get it out of her that her aunt had asked if I was her boyfriend. That's what she said "I don't know" to. So, I asked her... did she want me to be her boyfriend? She very softly said yes. Then I asked her, did she want to be my girlfriend? Nervously and with a smile in her voice, she said yes.
So, for the first time in almost 11 years, I'm not single. It might be a few years before we ever see one another in person, but I have someone in my life. She makes me exceptionally happy. Her name is Elsie, but she simply goes by Elle. She's gorgeous and smart and funny and wonderful. For once, I feel lucky.
It may seem strange because she's not physically here with me, but... this simple thing, this knowledge that someone cares about me romantically and who sees a future with me helps me so much more than I can express. People that I haven't confided in are commenting about how I seem more cheerful, more positive. I'm sleeping better, I have more energy. It's been so long since I've been hopeful and happy, it's a strange and slightly scary in a good way feeling.