Bad Jokes, A-hyuk.

[MuchachoNL]

I'm missing something....

From my joke, or is that a joke on its own?
I'm happy to explain if it's the first.

[yiraheerai]

It's the first. I'm afraid I don't quite get it.

[BlairFan]

Q. What's the best time to see a dentist?
A. Tooth-hurty. (2:30.)

[BlairFan]

Once a Soviet citizen went to vote. He was given a sealed envelope and told to put it in the ballot box.

“Could I possibly see for whom I am voting?” he asked timidly.

“Of course not!” the official answered indignantly, “in the Soviet Union, we respect the secrecy of the ballot!”

[yiraheerai]

Taken from Facebook...

A Texas State trooper pulled a car over on I-35 about 2 miles south of Waco Texas. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was on his way to Austin Texas to do a show for the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late.

The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle.

The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him.

While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the State Troopers car. A drunken good old boy from central Texas got out, watched the performance, then went over to the Trooper's car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the State car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing.

The drunk replied, “You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test.”

[MuchachoNL]

It's the first. I'm afraid I don't quite get it.

The Walls of Jericho are biblical, so he tried to educate the class on History, if you will.
However, in his ignorance, John thought it was done recently, as if the teacher was to find the culprit of a misdemeanor.

This infuriates the Sub, and complains about it to another teacher, whose ignorance is about the same.
Which ends with the ignorance of the Head of School, and the absurd response: "If that wall bothers you that much, we can get it fixed".

So basically this is a joke with three punchlines: Each part can be told as a separate joke.

[Azrael]

What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?


A Rolling Stone says, "hey you, get off of my cloud!" while a Scotsman says, "Hey MacLeod, get off of my ewe!"

[BlairFan]

That joke is baaaa-d. ;)

[Tenjen]

argh

[GothPoet]

99 little bugs in the code.
99 little bugs.
Take one down, patch it around.
127 little bugs in the code.

[BlairFan]

A. What did the customer say to the quarreling prostitute?
B. "If you make it hard for me, I'll hold it against you."

[GothPoet]

Where does Green Arrow like to shop? Target.

Where does Wonder Woman like to shop? Amazon.

[BlairFan]

One hot summer day, a man slips by a public swimming pool, and his wallet falls into the water. All of a sudden, a fish grabs his wallet with its mouth. Suddenly it tosses it into the air, only to be grabbed by another fish. Then it tosses the wallet to another fish, and so on, in a big circle of fishes. The man goes to the lifeguard and asks. "What the #2$% is going on?" "Don't you see?' replies the lifeguard. "It's carp to carp walleting!"

[yiraheerai]

[GothPoet]

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.
"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.
The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."
His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."
Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"