Awkward moment thread

[MuchachoNL]

Ok, we've all had some awkward moments.
During sex when you just couldn't find the right hole... or just a plain embarrassing moment like, your mom telling all your friends on your 20th birthday how you reacted to your first boner when you were, like, 8... (happened to me...... )

Sooo, let's share them

I'll start the show with a few:

I once was being hit on by a homosexual guy while dating my girlfriend.
I was in a sleeveless shirt (it was august) and I had my first tattoo for a few months (a Dragon on my arm).
And this bartender walks up to me, the drinks were on him because (and he gently stroked my arm while saying it) I had "such a masculine tattoo".
And my girlfriend just collapsed from laughter.

And this one time, at band camp....
LOL! No, just kidding.

At a school recital I was part of the supporting crew (I was 14 or so), and we had a gym-hall set up for the next monday class and I knew it was full of trampolines.
Since we were only there to see if everyone would keep out of the locker rooms, a friend and I were bored stiff.
So I suggested we'd sneak into the gym-hall for some trampoline fun.
Unfortunately, we'd had to go through the locker rooms first.
Little did we know the graduate girls were changing for their act at THAT exact locker room.
We're talking about 17-18 year old girls, being almost naked in there.
I barged in, realizing far too late that the locker room was filled with girls in their undies.
So I pulled my T-shirt in front of my eyes and just kept on walking to the gym-hall, thinking my friend would follow me.
No such luck... I was in the gym-hall, alone... girls screaming in the locker room behind me.

Sooooo, I had to track back.
Screams were louder, shirt was raised higher, and when I was just about to walk out, our English teacher went to see what the screaming was about.
I bumped into her, my face between her D cup breasts, my hands grabbing her ass because I fell backwards... I got detention for 4 weeks because of that joke...
Happiest day of my life though

[DruffyB]

When I was at uni this gay couple started hitin on me. So I thought I'll get a free pint from this so I'll pretend to be gay. Moments later they did get the said pint which was lager. The pit looked more frothy than usual and was a little more fizzy. After a while I felt groggy so I said goodbye and went to leave. The men went all solemn. On the way back I felt even more ill. I thought oh no I got food poisoning. I puked all over the statue of King Edward which did not get a lot of friendly looks. When I got to my room my friends were there looking relieved that I go back. Turned out the men were rapists.
This is why I now carry a rape alarm with me at all times!

[yiraheerai]

The classic "sneeze n' fart." You sneeze and while you're unable to control your body during that time frame, your body decides to fart, too '-' Wait, that's more embarrassing than awkward.

This is going to take some thinking...

[Nibler]

I had one of those the other day, and it caused a hick-up attack <.<
luckily only my brother was there, so not that awkward.

[yiraheerai]

Imagine doing that during history class in 7th grade

[GothPoet]

Sitting in the front row, in a college Business class and falling asleep.

And, no-one waking you up until the class is over.

Yep, I did that.

[yiraheerai]

Sliding off the bus seat just because it turned. Stupid tights and tractionless seats.

Walking in on the parents.

Talking about a girl I knew without realizing she was in hearing distance.

Oh oh, here's one. I had a geology class and a big portion of it involved a trip to Slaughter Canyon Cave. We stopped at a few holes that had... something, I can't remember what they're called and I had to have a guy hold my hand on the way down. This happened two or three times until we reached the trail that went up to the cave. I couldn't make it up because it was just too steep and my balance is just that horrid. The teacher told me to wait by the car and compose an essay about stuff that I'd learned.

Got to the bottom of the trail and the car's locked. No keys. Almost 100 degree weather (40 C for everyone not apart of the USA). I took shelter by the bathrooms and wrote on the concrete. A park ranger came by and asked what I was doing. I explained the situation but that.. yeah. Picture a girl squatting by the bathrooms and writing in the middle of nowhere. Not a place you want to meet a (rather cute, actually) ranger.

[DruffyB]

@Druffy: For what I understood, the idea of this thread is to post REAL anecdotes of awkward moments...

@Muchacho: The one of the gym was hilarious

Must dig into my memory to see what I can remember, since I know I have had lots awkward moments happening.

Actually I was spiked...whether it was those guys or not I'll never know but it seemed a little coincidental not to be them. I couldn't actually go to Winchester at night after that I had to go to Southampton.

[Rocky]

I was once the inadvertent cause of an awkward moment, if that counts. I did a Masters degree through remote learning, though not with the Open University, and we had one lecturer who was an arrogant so-and-so. He taught statistics and found it incredibly easy so he had no concept of anyone finding it difficult. The type of statistics we were learning was not the everyday sort and it didn't help that the text-book was dreadful - my copy is covered in scribble where I found errors in the maths!!

We took two modules every six months and would have a week at the university plus a seminar day towards the end of the period to clear things up before the exams. We were supposed to use email in between but this chap never answered with anything useful, saying only that he'd see us at the seminar. I was in real trouble with one of the sections and had sent several emails but had nothing sensible back. A colleague on the same course was also having trouble, which was a bit of a comfort because he was by far the best student and eventually gained a Distinction - 80% or more on everything. The day of the seminar arrived and His majesty strolled in. "I need to get your up to speed with Section 8 for the exam. I know that two of you are having problems with Section 7", he said, "but I can deal with them separately. Is anyone else having trouble with that Section?"

Nobody moved. He looked towards me, looking really smug, and my heart sank. Then a voice said "I'm stuck on Section 5." "So am I." "I'm stuck on Section 6." It turned out that my colleague and I were the only students, out of about 20, who were even on that Section. Most were at least one Section behind. And the exam was due in three weeks......

To watch that oily expression slide off his face and be replaced by sheer panic was delightful.

[Nibler]

(this happened a couple of years ago): My pants once got stuck in my bicycles pedals, causing them to rip, pull down and almost causing me to fall on my face, in a very public street. luckily a nice couple just walked by and helped me.

Also once walked in on my mom and her boyfriend, luckily they where under a cover, and I was already on my way out ("hey mom im going to the store be right ba..... omgwhat?")

[Tenjen]

okay this one happened a few yaers back in the forums hay day, never bothered to bring it up at the time [kept forgetting].

So iam at the small mall near my sisters living area. [its villa's all around and this place has the shopping, medicals, books, pet store, restaurants etc].

So i just step out of a restaurant while my family and such are talking and accidently bump into a girl. She was with a group who were already past her and she bumped into me since she was carrying all the stacks of groceries it seemed [non of they were >>, asshats] and couldnt see where she was going. Beautiful gal by the way. Scorchingly.

We both bent down to pick it all up and when i rotated and moved my right arm to hand her a box, she also moved forward [kneeling at my right corner] and the movement and positions led to me elbowing her pretty sharp and deep into her left breast. [she was QUITE well blessed in the area and by that i mean a lot]

She went oowww and her friend's had turned around to watch sometime back [but didnt pick anything up >>, asshats] but commenting to each other. I got her a trolley near the restaurant [people leave trolleys everywhere from the shopping market area] and we stacked the stuff in, and she thanked me. At which point one of her friends chimed in, "did he pop your implants?" at which point she gave them a stare which shut them all up.

she then does that tilt towards my direction thing and says in a half whisper "i dont have implants" matter of factly/nervously.

i then go and do the same tilt towards her and say a reassuring "i know" and right after saying it, we both make awkward looks [her friends roll their eyes >>, asshats] and I JUST KNOW that we both know what i meant but realised that it sounds like i know cause of my elbow maneuver.

So they went they're way and i went mine, she gave me a nice smile and looked back when i was [we waved].

never say her after that, but nice bit of life to remember.

[Nathan Dorian]

I am horrifically sadistic I think, because I adore threads like these.

The only thing that comes to mind is something that happened around a year or so ago, when I lived with my parents. I was on the phone to my partner and he had it on speaker phone with his younger sister (she was 16 at the time, I believe) in his room which wasn't uncommon. We were all being immature and Adam (my partner) made some joke about me raping his sister (I swear to God - not as disturbing and creepy as it sounds, nor is it a reflection of my character I wish I could for the life of me remember what he was talking about.)
Her instant response was, "You can't rape the willing!"

...Yeah.

[MerchManDan]

Hmmm...normally I try to avoid reliving my awkward moments. But, what the hell.

So, I tend to doze off while riding the bus to or from work, and sometimes I dream - usually of food, for some reason, which I try to eat. The motion of my mouth actually wakes me up (if a snore doesn't first). Well, last week I drifted off and dreamt a shopping cart was rolling towards me (?), so I raised a hand to stop it. Again, I wake up - this time, to find my fist in the air in front of me. The bus was packed, so I'm pretty sure somebody noticed (most likely the guy sitting next to me) but nobody said anything.

Gah.

[Dirty n Evil]

Recently, I spent "Bad Movie Night" with my friends Mikki and his wife Poulette that I've known for years. But the last time I spent time with them before that was somewhat less amusing... for me, at least. Because they used to hold these big New Year's Eve parties that I enjoyed going to. There was always one or two people who got half-naked before the end, and there was much fun to be had. However, the last time I attended I hadn't managed to get out of work for the day, so I was a bit tired by the time I showed up. Still, it was the one day that I often would just drink and drink and drink some more. So, I had a couple of whiskeys... forgetting that I was on an empty stomach, because I hadn't eaten for several hours. The whiskey hits me right away, and I sit down on the couch in the front living room. And promptly fall asleep.

Now, I snore. Loudly. Badly. I was fortunate that I also had a co-worker friend there, because after having been asleep for two hours she passes me sleeping and shakes me awake. It seems I was the amusement of the party, as here we were in a rather loud party with tons of people milling about, and I'm sitting up on the couch and snoring like a buzzsaw. I'm really bummed out because I almost always have fun at these things, but I'm just so exhausted and embarrassed that I think it's better to just leave.

Oh, but I just remembered a far, far more embarrassing moment.

It was the first time I take my (now ex-) to meet my father and (very religious) stepmother. It's over my Dad's house, and we're having a nice dinner and chatting afterwards when he wants to share a funny video that a friend sent him earlier in the day that pertains to the subject we were talking about. We step over to his computer, my father goes to open the video player on his computer, and apparenty he had the setting that it instantly starts playing the last thing viewed on the video player. With the volume turned up fairly loudly, right there with my girl by my side and in the presence of my dad... are the first few seconds of a porn in the middle of loudly moaning sex. My father goes "Whoops!" and quickly closes the window, and nobody says anything. But it wasn't the initial impression of my family that I wanted any girlfriend of mine to have of my family.

[MuchachoNL]

I can relate to that last issue, DnE.

My father turns 55 next week.
I'm 28. (29 in may).
My brother is 25 (26 in april).
My son is 6.
In the first two years of my son's life, my brother would always change my father's desktop to a picture of my son, just to send him a message.
And every time my dad is behind the laptop and/or desktop, he's bitching about who changes his desktop, and he changes it back to a semi-naked Victoria Silvstedt or a naked Jenna Jameson.
And every time my brother visited, he would bitch about our dad being an old pervert (or as Naruto would call it: Ero-Sennin ) and change it back to a picture of my son.

Now: a year later, I just separated from my fiancée... got a new girlfriend, and she comes over for a movie.
I hook up my computer to the media player downstairs and I start searching for a movie.
My dad recognizes a folder named "Her First Lesbian Kiss" and yells: "pervert, what are you doing with that shite?!"
And I immediately reply:"Probably the same as what you do with shite like 'naughty grannies' and 'bushy bitches'!" before I realise the damage I'd done.
Both my girlfriend's and my mom's jaw dropped to the floor, and both my head and my dad's head went "Woooooosssssssshhhhhhhh".