D&D anyone? (:

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Peppercat
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D&D anyone? (:

Post by Peppercat »

Well, I couldn't help but notice there are more than a few of us here :) So how about we put down our swords, claws and wands and share a good story or two about our charries?

Hey! I don't need +20 on spot to see that dagger (¬_¬) Let's keep it peaceful, plz

Hmm, well, I usually play sneaky war mages (Hi there, fireball!) or rogues. One of my fave characters so far was a jade phoenix mage (see Book of Nine Swords) whom, well, once had to face a somewhat... interesting encounter.

Allow me to explain:

Once upon a time,
we had defeated the evil Death Knight and all the bad guys and freed the souls of my fellow Jade Phoenix Mages (yay!) They are supossed to go and reincarnate in a newborn. Suddenly, my best friend Luis had an idea.

Harvey (DM): So all the souls of the Jade Phoenixes were freed and basically are scattering around the world, being...
Me: Born.
Harvey: Actually, they are being conceived.
Me: Oooooh!
Luis: Steph, let's fuck. Let's make a half-elf Jade Phoenix Mage (he was an elf and I was a human)
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaha.........wait, WHAT? Seriously? :|
Luis: Yeah! Couldn't we make a baby jade phoenix?
Me: Harvey, what are the chances to get a jade phoenix if we conceive a baby right now?
Harvey: Err.... I guess you'd have to roll percentage, but that's a really high chance.
Luis: Alright!
Me: Hahahahaha, okay then *is about to roll percentage but...*
Harvey: Wait! Luis has to roll a d20, just in case.
Lucia: What? Why?! Don't they just... you know...
Harvey: He could roll a 1
Luis: *rolls the die*

And he rolled a 1.

We all laughed SO HARD. Harvey said he was probably infertile.

About an hour later...

Luis: I wanna try again!
Me: What?!
Harvey: Roll.
Luis: *rolls the d20*

And he rolled a 1. Again.

We all burst out laughing SO BAD! We just couldn't stop. Harvey said he was not only infertile, but probably impotent, or maybe he was just gay, at which point our laughter was uncontrallable because my best friend is actually gay IRL XD

It was freaking hilarious =D
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Pneumonica »

At one point I was playing a D&D game in which one of the players was A) obnoxious as hell, B) not doing roleplay, and C) playing a cleric (primary party healer) wearing like uber plate armor tower shield stupidity with a Feat to cast cure spells as a ray. The guy couldn't make the Climb check to manage a flight of stairs - his average roll was a -20.

He had his own name for the character, but I dubbed him the Anti-Dalek. Thus, when he would start casting the ray cures, I'd reply with, "RE-JUV-EN-ATE! RE-JUV-EN-ATE!"

Eventually, the DM became really tired of him, and the last time he conjured a creature to cast light on it and throw it down a pit I cast a little-known spell called "moon blade". Touch attack weapon in which the caster is proficient, and if someone damaged by it tries to cast a spell they have to make a Concentration check against a DC of 10 + total damage taken since his initiative last round by the moon blade. I was playing a fighting-heavy Factotum.

It was death in two rounds.
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Dirty n Evil »

Pneumonica wrote:I dubbed him the Anti-Dalek. Thus, when he would start casting the ray cures, I'd reply with, "RE-JUV-EN-ATE! RE-JUV-EN-ATE!"
=)) Pneu, that was classic - thanks for the chuckle. :) But yeah, I'm a D&D geek as well - I've actually been playing it since I was only five and a half. So, over thirty years now.

The most annoying RPer I've encountered was named Rob... and Rob talked in what we dubbed "Rob-speak". Rob rarely told you what he was doing unless he wanted to be very specific. Instead of telling you, he pantomimed the action and made a sound as he thought it would happen. Swing a weapon? He swung his arms and made a "swish!" noise. Shoot a bow? He pulled his hand back as though loosing and arrow, and made a "thwip!" noise. Did this EVERY time! That, and he just wasn't very smart. Kept charging into every single situation, killing his character more often than anyone else.

Currently running a game with my rogue, 'Ghost' (his nickname). He's a Changeling that's more than passing good with his bow - I've taken him up from 1st level up to 19th currently. It's been a long campaign, but fun.
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Bear »

I have to admit I'm not a D&Der despite being an RPer... I like the setting of D&D with its classes and spells and creatures etc, but i've never played it. The rules gave me a headache when I tried onces... and thats comming from someone who understood the Mage the Ascension Spheres system.

Because of that the closet I've come to D&D are the various PC games such as Balders Gate, Icewind Dale, and Neverwinter Nights... which I've loved every one of... never got around to playing NWN2 though but I really need to.

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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Dirty n Evil »

Bear wrote:I have to admit I'm not a D&Der despite being an RPer... I like the setting of D&D with its classes and spells and creatures etc, but i've never played it. The rules gave me a headache when I tried onces
They've recently released 4th Edition, Bear, which is a lot more streamlined and direct than any previous addition. It's also much more balanced. The bad thing about it? It's too new. They haven't come out with nearly enough secondary books for all the fun and whacked out complex stuff that you can plump through the depths and make your character very unique. A favorite aspect of mine.
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Bear »

The last time I checked D&D was when it was just about when 3.5 came out.... I may check out 4th edition if it's less complex. I've gotten more used to the White Wolf systems though so hopefully I'll get D&D 4th.

Has reminded me though about Warhammer Quest or Hero Quest as it was once called... wish they'd never dropped that game as I used to love their very simple system.

/end threadjack

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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by MerchManDan »

I've been playing D&D 3.5 for just over a year, and 4th Ed for a few months. They are quite different, and I agree with Dirty 'n' Evil (Deevil?): 4th is pretty streamlined, and in that sense is "easier," so to speak. Once one gets used to it.

So, here's a neat little anecdote about my first character: Groth, half-orc barbarian. Groth and his team are delving into a temple to An-Hur, which had been overrun by undead creatures of all sorts. Traversing what appears to be some sort of hospital wing, somebody opens a door and they find an undead woman writhing on a bed, either in pain or ecstasy. The DM has us roll a Will save, and....

Natural 1.

Groth falls madly in love with this zombie woman and rushes to the bed for some unspeakable purpose. The rest of the team just barely have time to destroy her before he follows through, and he's broken-hearted for the rest of the session. Even up to Level 20, he couldn't shake his necrophiliac reputation; the other players made sure of that. Jerks.
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Dirty n Evil »

MerchManDan wrote:Groth, half-orc barbarian. Groth and his team are delving into a temple to An-Hur, which had been overrun by undead creatures of all sorts. Traversing what appears to be some sort of hospital wing, somebody opens a door and they find an undead woman writhing on a bed, either in pain or ecstasy. The DM has us roll a Will save, and....

Natural 1.

Groth falls madly in love with this zombie woman and rushes to the bed for some unspeakable purpose. The rest of the team just barely have time to destroy her before he follows through, and he's broken-hearted for the rest of the session. Even up to Level 20, he couldn't shake his necrophiliac reputation; the other players made sure of that. Jerks.
It's all right, Groth... I'm sure there will be other bar wenches and ladies of the evening who'll look past the poor hygiene of a barbarian and the rather homely looks of a half-orc. Besides, I'm pretty sure she just wanted to use you for your brains. =p~ Brains...
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by MerchManDan »

*snerk* What brains? At the time, Groth's Intelligence was 8; even a high roll wouldn't've helped that Will save. :))
But yes, there were other ladies; particularly a frost giantess named Gerti. :x Hey, Groth liked 'em cold but still moving.
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Retiarius »

Hazaq, the usually gentle half-ogre barbarian/fighter/war hulk has already been mentioned elsewhere in this forum. He’s probably the funniest character I’ve ever played.

Morgan, a sickly (Strength 4) 2nd Edition wizard I played had his funny moments. He was a research wizard, and knocking on his laboratory door—or being summoned to it—could be a disquieting experience, to wit:

One female dwarf party member was having trouble with her love life, and decided to visit Morgan for magical advice, presumably on a way to solve her problem. She goes to the laboratory and knocks on the door.

No answer. She raises her fist to knock again, and the door flies open. Morgan is standing there, wearing a heavy leather apron and dark goggles, holding a pair of tongs with something glowing red-hot clamped in them.

“What?” he snaps.

The dwarf dithers a moment. “Um…may I ask you a question?”

“Very well.”

“Well,” said the rather nervous dwarf, “You know magic, right?”

Morgan pondered a moment, then replied, “Yes. Yes, I do.”

And shut the door. After all, he’d answered the question. The dwarf was too intimidated to knock again and left.

A second incident happened when a different female party member was well into her second term of pregnancy. Morgan sent his apprentice to ask her to come to the lab one day, but wasn’t told why. (It never occured to Morgan to mention a reason.) She shows up at the laboratory door and knocks. Morgan opens the door. Holding an unidentifiable bit of flesh in one hand, Morgan mutters words of arcane power and slaps his free hand on her gravid belly.

Before she could react, he said, “The swelling should go down in about ten minutes.” Then he closed the door.

(The spell was a newly researched one that Morgan developed when he thought about what a hassle pregnancy must be. It creates an extradimensional pocket in the uterus to hold the fetus, and eases the delivery when it comes to term. While it is a useful spell, like many of Morgan’s spells, there is a drawback. In this case, the spell recipient is well-advised not to enter any other extradimensional spaces, such as a portable hole. The results would be messy and fatal, and rather disturbing.) :ymdevil:

That’s a long enough post for now. Other anecdotes may follow.
Last edited by Retiarius on Mon Nov 17, 2008 3:40 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by MerchManDan »

Retiarius wrote:In this case, the spell recipient is well-advised not to enter any other extradimensional spaces, such as a portable hole. The results would be messy and fatal, and rather disturbing.) :ymdevil:
:-o Wow. That's.....wow. :ymsick:
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Bear »

Reminds me of a set of phasing tools I made for another game that could phase through machinery to repair it without taking it appart.. the first time my character used them he lost control of what they were phasing through and ended up jamming the flight and engine gears of the airship he was currently trying to fix while it was flying... =))

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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Dirty n Evil »

While 'Ghost' has been an interesting character to run, my favorite to date has been a half-elven bard named Runya Nantathren. Since the bard is the weakest class in all the games, it wasn't what his class could do - it was what Runya himself was always up to. I have never been so quick witted, brattish, and lucky with any character as I was with Runya. He could nearly talk a king into giving up his crown because it was so heavy and didn't look the best with his complexion.

He once stymied our Dungeon Master in a situation where Runya and two of his companions were supposed to be captured. They were surrounded in a small hovel, with a few dozen guardsmen nearly tackling them all to the ground. The warrior was keeping them at a distance with his greatsword, Runya was getting evasive (and lucky), but the cleric-mage was nervous and decided he wasn't going to be captured. So he breaks his Staff of Power. Boom! He gets destroyed (idiot), but takes out a lot of the faceless guardsmen. The remaining ones are now a bit nervous. Runya and the warrior are pretty crispy by the explosion themselves, but they have half a beat to think of a plan B.

Runya holds out his quarterstaff (enchanted for combat, but not a Staff of Power) and warns "All right, if you don't let us out right now, I'm gonna take twice as many of you as my friend did when he went!", pantomiming that he's about to break his magical quarterstaff. He rolls a bluff check... and rolls a 20. The more veteran guardsmen back up slowly, the greener members start running for their life. I forced the Dungeon Master to completely figure a new way to get our characters where he wanted them to be.

Runya had a pretty good end. The entire campaign he'd been flirting in a very teasing fashion the ice queen, scarlet haired, elven druid who looked down at him and his "scoundrel ways" - and often infuriated her to the point that thrown crockery was an hourly event. She eventually realized no other man had ever gotten her blood to boil the way he did, or had pursued her as long as he did. So she let him chase her until she caught him. ;)
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Peppercat »

MerchManDan, that was hilarious!!! A friend once went through something like that, I can't remember the exact context cause I wasn't there (the guys called it a, well, BOYS night and had a pijama party without us girls :() He rolled a 1 and was suddenly drooling over a hag XD

DnE, I think your bard would get along quite well with Jinx, my (current campaign) rogue. She's about the luckiest character I've played so far. And even though her charisma's not that high, she once got herself out of trouble by... er... being nice with a higher level rogue who caught her trying to sneak in. ;;)
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Re: D&D anyone? (:

Post by Don Alexander »

A pepperkitty thread!!! :x

About role-playing anecdotes!!!! :D :D :D

Oh, D&D... :( I don't play D&D... :((

Okay, I guess other systems are allowed too.

One short one for now. I hope it doesn't get too long.

We are playing a children's round here at my uni place. Two characters are Taniquel Faelándel Tanzt-im-Wind [Dances-in-the-Wind] Damitel, a 10 year old half-elf girl, and Seegang Drakkarsson (The first name means "sea swell", and the last name son of the drakkar, those being the ships of the viking-like thorwale culture where we were playing. The other kids gave him his name.), a 12 or so year old "Klabauterlehrling" (basically a changeling, a human who was abducted as a baby by a fairy sprite, in this case a water nix who lives on a ship - check out Wikipedia for Kobold and Klabautermann. such humans grow up to become magical tricksters bent on playing jokes on other people...). The players are a couple. So, Seegang has recently joined the gang, and we're shipping up a river. He grew up on the ocean and knows zilch of anything on land. The first time he sees cows he calls them "landwhales".

So Tan wants to teach him about animals and stuff. At a tavern, she gets him his first glass of milk. He tastes it - hey, not bad! But he wants to know what it is. so she explains that it comes from goats - from their udders. What's an udder, he asks inncoently. Well, she says, it's something that hangs down from beneath their tummies...

" :ymsick: I know what hangs beneath my tummy!!"

He never touched land whale piss again... =))

Many more to come if I can dig them out.

Edit: Well, I'm happy I saved peppercat's old avatar!!

Edit #2: Going to bed now... Really... i-)
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