Storytelling Discussion

[mikbuster]

So, this is my first idea. I've had others that I'm very tempted to write and share too, but this was the first, so it gets dibs on being written

She stood at her window, looking out to see where the knight was on his way out of the castle to much applause. He had promised to rescue the princess at all costs no matter the danger. Now he was on his way to attempt to keep that promise.

Sarah had wanted to go with him, after all, it was her sister that was to be saved. Everyone kept saying that she was too little, but she was eight. She knew she could do anything she wanted to. So finally she resolved to go out herself and do what she could.

She ran out of her room to the armory. She had to put on some armor to keep herself safe. The sword would be useful as well, with the shield to keep it company. Now, to grab her pony and be on her way. Luckily that would be just as easy, with everyone busy paying attention to the knight instead of her.

Her magnificent white pony was always eager to go exploring as well. As soon as she climbed up, it was off, heading for the gate at top speed. The pair escaped past the surprised crowd, with angry adults shouting after them. Still, they were free now. Free to follow the road to where the princess was being kept.

The first challenge, of course, was the swamp. She carefully guided her pony through, sticking to the most solid route she could manage. They were surrounded by weirdly shaped trees, and water, everywhere. As far as the eye could see. Still, she knew that she had an advantage in being light here, where she wouldn’t sink in as easily as the knight would.

It seemed dark here, and quiet. Monsters could be lurking everywhere. Her dad constantly talked about there being rodents of unusual size here as well. Who knew what she’d find? Then she heard it. There was someone screaming for help. “I’m coming! Hang on!” She sprang from dry spot to dry spot, hurrying as fast as she could to rescue the man in need of help.

Finally, she reached a sandy pit. The knight that had set on his way before her was trapped, sinking. She wasn’t sure how to go about saving him, so she started by grabbing a stick and reaching it out to him so she could pull him in. Suddenly, it snapped under his weight. She looked around for something else she could do when she saw it. His lance was laying there hidden in the roots.

She grabbed the pointy end, pushing the handle towards the poor knight. This time, it held and the knight managed to pull himself out of the pit and lay there gasping. “Are you okay Sam?”

“Yeah, I think so. I’m such a failure.”

“Go on back to the castle and I’ll take care of it. Tell father that the brave and smart Sarah shall rescue the princess and return her safely. And please, be careful.”

So, having rescued the knight, the brave Sarah continued out of the swamp and back onto a solid road yet again. With her steed trotting behind, she was once again ready to climb back up and head off at high speeds. She didn’t know what they would find next, but the tower was now within sight.

As they drew closer, they noticed a mighty dragon sitting chained in front of a long and narrow bridge. There was no way past, so now she knew she must slay the dragon to rescue the princess. She jumped off her steed, motioning to it to stay quiet on the side of the road and wait while she grabbed her shield and sword and dashed toward the giant lizard.

The dragon woke up at the sound of her approach, standing up and stretching his mighty wings. He was displaying his pretty, multi-colored scales. Sun reflected off the reds and blues and purples in a dazzling display. It looked down at the girl, a scary grin lighting up its face. “Girl. You must run away or I’ll be forced to kill you. The master won’t like his prize taken away from him, and you’re much too pretty to make a snack of now.”

“I’ll show you, you big bully. You can’t stop me from rescuing princess Serenity!” With that she gave a fearsome roar and charged at the dragon, holding the shield up to block any attacks. The dragon responded with his own roar mixed with fire that hit the shield and elegantly flowed around the charging girl.

She dove under the dragon’s belly and stabbed her sword up and into the dragon’s heart. It was an amazingly accurate strike as the dragon staggered backwards and fell into the abyss that surrounded the tower. She stood up to look over the edge and saw the mighty beast hanging there, upside down, suspended by the chain that had kept him at the spot for so long. It was so comical that the courageous and strong girl started laughing at the top of her lungs.

That was when she heard it. A woman’s voice shouting. Demanding attention. “Serenity! Sam! Sarah! Dinner’s ready!”

Sarah looked at her steed saying, “The wonderful and amazing Sarah, having rescued the knight and slayed the dragon, must return on another day to rescue the damsel in distress.” As the scene faded in her mind, she jumped back on the dog and said, “Come on Sienna. Mom’s going to be mad if we don’t get back quick!” The long suffering dog sprinted off with the girl’s weight on top as they made their way back through the muddy yard to the big white house that was home.

[Dirty n Evil]

Artie and everyone, sorry this latest effort has taken me longer than before to get written up. And it's slightly bittersweet, but you can blame me for being a maudlin S.O.B. This was just the story that spoke to me. Consciously tried to keep the length manageable, word count of 1,337.

That night the air was crisp, whispers of autumn slipping through the gaps in the frame of her window. She was twisted up in her blankets and sheets, and her dreams were peppermint and laughing sunshine. Twindle hid in the darkness, nestled into the corner of her room as he breathed deeply the lovely scents of her world. Privately, those two very different children had spent a secret day of joy together. It had been glorious for them both.

Her name was Marigold, but her family called her “Goldie”. She didn’t like the big old house her father had moved them into, and she had no playmates. So, Twindle was quite happy to learn the games of the human child. While she could only see him as a trick of the light or a shadow of an image, they had such fun. Who knew that there was a party one held simply for the sake of drinking tea? Or that a murderous daughter named Lizzie Borden could have a delightful rhyme offered to her? Oh, it was wonderful.

Leaffug reached out to Twindle, calling him. A sending from their own lands, calling him home. Wrapping his arms about himself, Twindle frowned and squinted his eyes shut. No, no. He didn’t want to leave. Marigold was so much fun, and he knew that Leaffug would scold him. The chant of his name pulled, pleading and insistent all at once. Knowing that he was far too small to refuse his summons, he hasted to say good bye to Marigold before it was too late. His bare feet glided over the cracked wooden slats of the floorboards, and within the tumbled cocoon on her bed Twindle brushed his finger across her open palm. In her sleep, she grasped in response to that touch, hoping to hold onto him. But he was gone.

Leaffug waited within the Heart of Springtime, her long amber hair flickering about her in the breeze. At times it twisted into the branches of the birch trees about her, but she did not pull them free. Rather, they flowed over the silver bark like a caress and returned towards their mistress. She wore a man’s vest with a brass fob watch in her palm, a pair of slim dark trousers with a torn knee that was badly frayed.

Wanting to appease her mood, Twindle did his best to emulate her by reaching into the past and borrowing the clothes of a street urchin off a washline. Simple gray homespun cotton shirt sat on his moonlight pale skin, plain canvas pants two sizes too large. The clack of the watch closing was as sharp as Leaffug’s expression was mild.

He opened his mouth to speak, but with a single raised finger Leaffug silenced him. She reached over with slender hands to fluff his dusky hair. Ruffling it not in affection, but as though attempting to loosen something caught within. Those fingers then swept in the air, brushing towards her face. A deep breath was taken, and a knowing look came over her black gaze. “You’ve been spending time in the mortal realm again. You spoke with a human child.” The words spoken so very much in the matter of fact fashion, but clearly Twindle understood the reproach.

“She was beauuuuuu-tiful.” He crooned the word, thinking of her name again. Marigold. “She wasn’t like us, Leaffug. She wasn’t starlight and shadow… she was flame and smoke! She was missing her front tooth, and she had a favorite doll that was soaked in her love, and her laugh was sharp like a dog’s bark, and -” There wasn’t even a gesture offered this time, only a look. Twindle bit his bottom lip closed to prevent himself from rambling on about this magnificent human he’d met.

Being twice his height, Leaffug knelt onto the sparse grass at the base of the birch tree. Her cool hands settled on his cheeks, and she kissed the lids of both of his eyes. “Oh, my sweet boy. Yes, the mortals are strange and different than us. However, I warn you from ever visiting this girl again. I taste her name on your mind, and I beg you to let it go.”

His brows knit, and Twindle began to step away in protest. Her hands were gentle with him, and held his close despite his displeasure. “Little heart, listen to me. Mortals are not like us. They have souls, and souls change.” He was pulled into her arms, his eyes growing glassy. Leaffug smelled like dandelions and musty hay, and the familiar scent of her was mildly calming. She rocked him in her arms, trying yet again to explain the lesson all fey must remember.

“Souls are terrifying things, and you should be happy that you do not have one. A soul changes because of the experiences offered it. I will always be your Leaffug, and I will always treat you with kindness my darling Twindle. But if you were to return in a year’s time to this little girl… she will not be who she was today. She will never be that girl again.”

Wanting to deny her words yet knowing they were true, Twindle still squirmed within her embrace. He did not, however, attempt to pull himself away. He knew with certainty that Leaffug was correct, of course. Oh, but she was such a wonderful friend! They had so much fun together, it was joyous! “I… I could steal her away, couldn’t I? Bring her into the Heart of Springtime, and keep her? We would have fun forever, and be always friends…” It was the first impulse that came to mind, yet Twindle knew better. He’d heard the stories as well, but needed Leaffug to remind him.

“… but she would still have her soul. Her body might never age a day, but her soul would grow old. And in time, this girl would be an old woman inside of a child’s body.” Allowing him to look once more into her wise and deep eyes, Leaffug leaned away even as she attempted to straighten the wild nest of sooty dark hair Twindle possessed. “At best, you might visit that home again when there is another child. It will not be the same little human from today, and so you will not be as happy since that it was you wanted. No, best that you stay within our lands. The mortal realm is very different, I will agree. However, you little scamp, it is better for both of our kinds to stay where we are.”

He nodded, and scuffed his toes in the dirt. Wandering away, feeling the look of Leaffug resting on him. Her concern was a faint music at the edge of his hearing, and it was not disregarded. Twindle wanted to play those games again, and struggled in frustration to know that it would never happen again. Not the way it had. He wanted what he wanted, and it was horrible to him that it was impossible. He wished he could steal her soul, and throw it in the wide ocean. Finally he sighed, and felt the gaze that settled over him soften.

“Being… being mortal, will Marigold remember me?” Once he gave her name, Twindle knew he would never see her again. With her name, Leaffug could find her as well, and prevent him from coming close. She would do as much for his own sake, if she felt it necessary.

A breeze caught at both of them, and it had the bite of chill to it that did not belong in Springtime. It was from the mortal world, a soft wind in the months nearing winter with the lingering scent of peppermint. “Souls change with their experiences, Twindle. As her body grows, her mind might convince her that you were nothing more than an imaginary friend. Yet her soul will always possess the imprint of the day you spent together. She will be forever different for having known you.”

Edited twice because: I can't stop fiddling with stuff. Same word count, just little nudges here and there now that I'm looking at it with different eyes.

[mikbuster]

No time to read tonight, but that length is so 1337

[Dirty n Evil]

I wasn't going to toot my own horn, but I was really hoping someone else would catch that coincidence. ;)

[Artemisia]

I thought I'd let everyone know that tomorrow I'll be reading through everything, writing up critiques and posting the next prompt

Things were rough up until Tuesday, and I'm still recovering. Thank you and I'm glad you're feeling a bit better D&E, and I look forward to reading the story

[Artemisia]

Today on Storytelling Discussion we have something rather fun...a pictorial prompt:

This picture is called Visitor and it's by Anton Marrast

The challenge is to write a story centering around what you believe is going on in the picture- either before, during or after.

--------------------

Damn, D&E, you made me tear up That was a beautiful story. Hue, I certainly understand. It was a good start, and I know that that prompt was not exactly to everyone's taste or liking. In fact, it was not an easy prompt overall. I'm glad that you tried. Mik, you do such lovely work as well.

[mikbuster]

I don't remember having an invisible friend when I was little, but yeah, that was very sweet.

As for the recent prompt, I have a lot of stuff on my mind to deal with, so it might take me a bit to do any writing.

[Dirty n Evil]

Aw, thanks you two. I didn't consciously think about it, but looking back I think I drew on a lot of my own childhood experiences for that story.

I did actually have an imaginary friend as a little kid - of all things, it was 'The Count' from Seasame Street. Yes, I was obviously strange as a child for having a vampiric figure as my imaginary friend. I also rarely had a large group of friends growing up, and when I was 10 my best friend who lived three doors away moved out of town and I never saw him again. Plus, I've always been fascinated with the idea of the fey. Love fairy tales, and the odd particular ways that they're supposed to be different than us.

And Artie, to hear that I made you tear up is one of the greatest compliments I can imagine. That you became invested enough in the story to create that strong an emotional response? I'm flattered.

[Dirty n Evil]

New short story! This time working off the image Artemisia provided, a word count of 1154. Considering the nature of the image, I liked attempting something a bit more horror oriented. And while previously I pulled at the earlier word count, I'm trying very hard to deliberately write shorter entries. Challenging myself to be more brief.

Nails tapped and clicked against the sandy brick sidewalk, lingering to the shadows as best could be managed in the slanted light of the afternoon. Crowley Avenue was one of the oldest streets in Salem, and the lumbering figure scurried along the ancient buildings raised over a hundred years before. Homes with narrow hallways, nouveau inspired architecture, and aged plaster walls. Its fur bristled when a young lady cradling a coffee in her hand happened to see it out of the corner of her eye, but then she blinked. And looking over, there was only a dark car opposite her in the street. Of course, it couldn’t have been what she imagined. That would have been impossible.

It padded leathery feet up to street entrance of 52 B North Crowley, at that part of town where old town was at the verge of slipping into the more crime riddle areas. Raising a pointed muzzle up the slender stairs, and whispered. “Oliver.” It was a hissing sound, easily rendered indecipherable as it echoed against the hard surface of the walls. In the apartment above, there was the sound of movement. “Oliver, it’s time.”

After several minutes, Oliver Singh appeared at the top of the stairs. Twenty three years old, his matted dark hair a long mane that never quite sat properly on his own head. He adjusted the black and mustard colored flannel shirt that hung loosely on his shoulders, and fidgeted. “I’m sorry, Pendleton… I’m not going.” His own voice sullen and quavering.

The pale eyes of the enormous rat looked up quizzically at the young man, but responded with authority. “My name is not -” He was in turn interrupted sharply, more effort in this retort.

“I know your true spirit name, you muck crawler, but I like to call you Pendleton because of the rat from ‘Charlotte’s Web’. And I don’t care who among the witches of the coven sent you, but I’ve made my decision. I’m not coming. I’m not joining them.” He shifted where he stood, a sardonic grin coming over his sharp features. “This is just too bizarre! I was born in New Delhi, there’s no reason I should be drug into this yankee voodoo bullshit.”

The midnight figure of the rodent simply stared at him, patient as stone. “Your father is from another land, true. But your mother’s blood is from here. Her obligations are yours. You must come with me and join in the ritual.” The staircase was the bridge that they spoke across, too slim for the creature to climb but the only exit that Oliver had available to him. “There can be no disobedience in this issue.”

Oliver’s tanned features scowled down at the messenger, his nose wrinkling in distaste. “You don’t think I haven’t seen that? They’ve driven away every friend I have! Oh, I’m not so clueless as all that… but when the phrase I have just been having some bad luck keeps popping up whenever I try to see the people in my life, it’s pretty fucking clear, Pendleton.” He gritted his teeth, then waved the mammoth nightmare away. “Go on. I’m done with this damn city. At the end of the month, I’m moving out. Simple as that.”

“You have obligations, Oliver Singh. Your mother attempted to ignore them at one time, flying across the world to avoid them. But she is with us again. As you shall be. You have the gift, and it is not yours to deny.” Needle sharp teeth were bared, long and deadly slivers of ivory. “Disobedience will not be permitted.” The threat clear, hanging in the air between them.

Oliver raised the hand he kept held at his side, thumb depressing the metal hammer as the cylinder in the pistol spun. Sending the loaded bullet into the chamber, even as he pressed the chill barrel against his temple. “Oh, really? I’ve seen what they do, you rat fuck! These witches… innocent people were burned for them ages ago, but if the people of this town knew what they really were they would have killed everything! And I’ll do anything to make sure I don’t become like them.” Panic tinged his voice. He felt his forefinger jump, dancing with anxiety as it tried to settle on the trigger. “So you can go tell them to bend over and take it, because one way or another I’m going to have my way.”

The pair stared at one another for several quiet seconds. Oliver’s heart rippled in his chest frantically. He only wanted to escape, to be free from all of this. He would rather be damned than to join that unholy council. Below him, the inky figure stared calmly upwards. Blocking his path should he hope to leave, and steady as death. He licked his lips, and adjusted his grip on the gun. Please, he thought to himself. Please, just leave me alone.

Nearly five minutes had passed, when hope drained from Oliver. The would never leave him alone. He would always be hunted, so long as he was alive. A chill traced along his spine. He had prepared for this, but had hoped such measure wouldn’t be necessary. Closing his eyes, he sighed until his lungs felt empty. It had to be done. He had to pull the trigger, for the sake of his soul. He couldn’t think about it any longer. If he did, he might balk. With a sudden rush of determination, he shut his eyes painfully tight and squeezed.

Nothing happened. There had been no explosion of brain, no detonation of the bullet even. Thinking rapidly, Oliver realized that he hadn’t even heard the hammer’s loud clack as it struck down. It was as he was about to pull the gun forwards for inspection that he realized he could not move. Even his breathing was not his own, coming through in shallow gasps. His eyes began to water as he stared down at the horrible being at the foot of the stairs. Waiting to escort him.

“As I told you, Oliver. Disobedience will not be permitted.” Oliver attempted to scream, and a mewling sound was all he could managed. He felt his hand reach back and tuck the pistol into the band of his belt beneath the flannel, hiding it from view. And then, like a weary automaton, he started to clomp down the steps one by one. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks, stinging his eyes, and he couldn’t even reach up to brush them away.

The massive thing that looked like a rat that he called Pendleton stepped back, allowing him to step out into the fading light of that old avenue. “Come along now, Oliver. The initiation begins at sundown. It is very painful, but that will be brief.” They turned, and with his claws tapping over the old brick and his charge in tow, they proceeded down the path.

[mikbuster]

Umm... I was kinda writing through a depressive episode where I was talking with friends, so I think some random craziness creeped in that isn't really related to the story, but oh well. Hopefully the rest of you still have friends that talk with you when people aren't around though ;)

“Spike! Get away from my house! You’ll break it.” The poor weasel scurried away as quickly as he could at the girl’s shouts. The little girl ran over to make sure everything was still in its place. The little table, chairs, people, and everything else seemed to be just where she had left it. Spike was such a little rascal, always getting into everything.

“Sasha! Are you ready yet?” came a woman’s voice from downstairs.

“Almost mom!” Sasha ran to the corner and started to strap on her shoes. “I’ll be down in a minute!” Then she lowered her voice, seeming to whisper to nowhere, “Don’t worry Simon. We’re just going to grandma’s house. I’ll be fine. We can talk all about it when I get home later tonight, okay?” She started running out the door, barely pausing to close it, before running down the stairs and shouting, “Coming mom!”

She bounded down the steps taking two, and three at a time. Her mother always had that upside down smile when she did that, but how could you not do it that way? She found that this time was no exception, but instead of complaining about it, her mother just held out her little yellow jacket for her to put on. “Come on, hurry up. We don’t want to be late to your grandmother’s birthday party.”

The drive over was boring. All she could do was stare out her window and see the same things she’d seen every other time. At least a birthday meant cake and cake is good, unless it’s that angel stuff.

When they finally arrived across town, they all got out of the car and she had to wait behind her parents while they rang the bell. Sasha just kind of swayed in place looking off into the bushes. They whispered to her about everything they’d seen, but she knew she couldn’t talk to them without being yelled at. At least not right now, so she just waved as the door opened to admit the trio.

The first thing was always her grandma grabbing her for a big hug and a kiss. She just wished that she had a choice in it though. The best part of the greeting ritual was coming now though. Candy. She tore off the wrapping and put the chocolate in her mouth just savoring it. Letting it melt slowly while they were led into the kitchen to sit and talk and wait for everyone else to get there.

As a few of her cousins arrived with their parents, and she watched the ritual repeated a few times, dinner was finally being served. Of course she had to actually eat dinner before dessert. She couldn’t do the just eat one little thing trick she tried last year. Oh well, there was good food there anyway. Then there was cake, and ice cream.

Of course after that she could go outside and play. Hide and seek was always fun. She could always find her cousins pretty quickly, but then they never asked the trees to keep their secret, and it was just nice to be outside and playing. Today, though, after a few games, the adults seemed upset about something. She couldn’t see her dad up there, but she just knew somehow that it was about him. So she ran up the short hill behind the house and back inside to find out for sure what was going on.

Her mother immediately grabbed her arm and pulled her out to the car. She was told on the, faster than usual, drive home that her dad had walked to the store for something and hadn’t gotten back yet. He definitely wasn’t at home, but her mom was staying on the phone talking so she was free to go up to her room and try to make sense of everything.

“Simon. Dad’s missing. How do we find him?” she cried. “Really? You can? Come on!” With that she was running back down the stairs, not even bothering with the door this time, and jumping even more steps at a time, although she slipped down a few stairs too. As soon as she was outside she climbed on top of Simon and they ran off into the night.

Simon was busy sniffing the air and following some invisible trail, while Sasha was busying talking about things like clouds, how much she loved Simon, and how pretty her dress was, among other things. Eventually he got to a building with the doors open and peered in.

“Really? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” She jumped down and ran into the building. As she ran up the stairs she was shouting, “Daddy!” Jumping into his arms she gave him a huge hug.

“Honey. How did you get here? Where is your mother?”

“She was talking on the phone. I think she was worried about you. Can we go home now?”

“I’ve been trying, but I can’t seem to find the way.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll get there this time.” She smiled, pulling him by the hand back outside and they followed Simon back home.

After taking him to the doctor later that night, they were saying something about a stroke. They were also saying something about hallucinations involving a giant shadow looking at him. She wasn’t sure what that was, but she didn’t really think Simon was one of those. At least he was going to be okay though, and after the crying and the yelling they were calling her a hero. She kept trying to tell them that Simon was the one that found him, but they seemed to think she was making up some boy to avoid the attention, but she and Simon knew who was the real hero, and that was what was important.

I did include a warning that there was craziness, so no complaining if it makes you crazy. I take no responsibility for that.
I also need to read DnE's piece yet. Apparently we went with very different types of stories, but honestly I had two ideas fairly quickly when I first looked at the image and I included both. Oh, and it's under 1k words. Maybe I should try horror at some point though, because I'm not a fan and I think it could be hilarious.

[Artemisia]

I sometimes think that Mik really has a flair for writing children's stories. That was very good

D&E, I loved your story as well. I found the opening sentence a bit awkward, but other than that, it was very dramatic

[Tenjen]

i dablle in fanfic writing these days, too embaressed to post any of it here.

and since i love and trust this place so much, thats quite telling >w>

[Artemisia]

I'd love it if you did post your stories. None of us are harsh critics and you can only get better by practicing

[hueloovoo]

And for my submission this time I have a short narrative called, "Where Is My Child?"


Where is my child?

My human child, where has he been taken?

I lost him one day when the noisy big metal things were moving around and scared me. I ran away. But when I found my way back, he was gone! I keep looking, here, there, and other places too. All the other human people ignore me but I know my child would not.

I tried asking them a few times. I was afraid when I was little but now I’m as big as they are, maybe a little bigger, so it’s not so scary to ask. But they walk around me and ignore me. And none of them will tell me where my human child is!

I tried following his scent but it drifted away after he left. Maybe one of the big stinky noisy monsters carried him away. They’re still bigger than me, but maybe I’ll grow bigger than them too.

This place with all the weird caves is big, I keep sniffing in all the caves for my boy’s scent but there are only strange scents, sometimes like flowers even where there are no flowers, or sometimes sharp and nasty smells. Sometimes I even smell scat, but when I do I usually smell sickness too. Humans are weird, but my child isn’t.

Oh! I smell something! Is it food? No, better, it’s my child! He was here! His scent is strong, it’s easy to follow through the forest of caves. Here! This cave! It’s not my child’s old cave, it’s a different one, but I know my child’s smell! I just... have to fit... in the door! I know I can do it...

There! Now to find my child, I’ve missed him so much! Oh! It looks like he got big too! And he has a mate! That’s wonderful! This little one smells like him too! But why won’t he answer me? He walks around me too... Has he forgotten me? Am I abandoned?

Wait, the little one who smells like my child... She sees me! Maybe she’ll play with me...


((361 words, I was very blocked so I just started writing and this is what came out.))

[mikbuster]

That is pretty neat If you wanted to lengthen it, you could start with the pair playing, and end with other playing ;) I do like the way it tries to portray the alienness of it.