The Elder Cave

[mac2]

Have a good trip, Tenjen. I recommend lots of DEET for the mosquitos.

[Tenjen]

*lynx kitteh returns on his blimp*

Heya all <3

i missed all of you so much <3

[Azrael]

Welcome back Tenjen. I hope your trip was well and enjoyable.

[Bear]

*The enigmatic critter known simply as B, sets off the previous planted fireworks on the Lynx-blimp to that most awesome of Critter national athems... Led Zepplins Immigrant Song*

[Tenjen]

WHAT?! i thought those were candy and ate a few!

*lynx kitteh suddenly starts firing out sparks from his mouth, flying backwards and all over the cave*

*lynx kitteh starts firing out sparks the other end too and starts spinning and flying around wildly, occasionally shooting out a rocket from some orifice*

[JVDifferent]

*Ever so softly, creeps amongst the shadowy corners of the Cave.*

*Watches, and observes. Sniffs too.*

Smells like burning lynx in here. At least that hasn't changed.

[Don Alexander]

*spies a JVD and POUNCES*

YOU SHALL BE HOOGED!!!

RESISTANCE ARE FUTILE, ARRRR!

[JVDifferent]

D:

[Radbaron]

R!
D!
A!

Whoohoo!! The McGyver fanclub is back!!

[Tenjen]

LYNX KITTEH DEMANDS TRIBUTE! GIVE ME YOUR SOLS!

[Azrael]

*sharpens Scythe*

[Kamino Neko]

You can have my sun when you pry it out of my cold dead hands!

...

OK, if I was holding the sun, they'd be smouldering dead hands.

But, still, the point stands.

[Tenjen]

*lynx kitteh rations out his considerable fortune of bacon into the stores and the Critters, also giving them his equipement and tech accessories*

*provides the last of his confectionary weaponry and ammunition to Frankie, who is elated and marks one inner ear area of lynx kittehs with permenant pink marker*

*grabs particular souveniors torn off various pieces of the cave and looks around the various structures built [and blown down] as well as the scratches, marks and rooms/area's around the eldercave*

*hops onto his blimp's hammock and floats off out the main entrance, throwing Loki a hard but strangely chewy, slightly yielding treat*

see you guys, and..sorry.

*glances around furtively and floats out of view and into the tree and sky line*

[Ecchi-Spud]

WARNING: Product of an out-of-practice fanfiction writer. What's worse, it's short, and it doesn't have an ending (yet).

I don’t own the Elder Cave; it belongs to the Pixie Trix Comix webforum. I’m just hanging around it for a while.

Somehow I think Sir Paul is going to shoot me for this . . .



BANNed, On the Run

An Elder Cave fanfic by Ecchi-Spud



Part One

The story you are about to read is TRUE (sort of). The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
For example, David Foreman is now called Lovey Moonrise.

-----

“Our fugitive is reported to be in the vicinity of Elder Cave, and has been on the move for at least five hours. He is on foot, carrying a large backpack with camping gear, and is believed to be an expert in outdoor survivalism. He is heavily armed, and extremely dangerous. What I want is a hard-target search of the Elder Cave area, including the Cibola Forest, in the perimeter out to the limits of Perfection, Maison de Nue, and Camp Anthrax.

“Our fugitive’s name is G. Mason. Git ‘em!!”

-----

“Heavily armed? Extremely dangerous?” Only gun I have on me is my takedown “Fave,” which I can barely hit a “Texas bulls-eye” (re: “side of the barn”) at 50 yards with. It’s just something I take as part of my camping gear, in case I want to add rabbit stew to the menu. As for “expert in outdoor survivalism,” . . . Does getting kicked out of the Boy Scouts qualify? (I swear, just ONE little accident involving flaming marshmallows and a tent . . .)

Anyway, this is what happens when you don’t “pay your dues” in the Elder Cave region. The local Sheriff starts to act like that actor (YOU know who I’m talking about) and does a speech to his men (all five of them, at this moment), and sends them out into the forest and surrounding towns to track down the poor sucker who didn’t write a fanfic.

No, I’m not making this up. A fanfic. Actual ordinance. Penalty’s supposed to be stiff. Repeat offenders get a last meal; take it from there.

And it’s not like I PLANNED to violate this particular ordinance; I just didn’t know about it when I first came to the Elder Cave region about – hmm, nearly three months ago. It’s not something that you hear in the advertisements about this place. Either that or they slip it in at high speed somewhere in the middle, like the mention of side effect in a drug commercial. I was more focused on the parts of “lush forests” and “naturism trails” and the like.

So there I was, just enjoying a beer in a bar in downtown Perfection. I had been in the area for two months, enjoying the sights (and WHAT SIGHTS!!), and the Sheriff drops by. He mentions that there was this little matter of a local ordinance, and that I was expected to deliver. After that, for the next couple of weeks, I start to go into panic mode. I mean, I had written fanfics before; last time I had checked, they were still posted on the Web. Problem was, I hadn’t written any in over two years; doctors called it a terminal case of writer’s block. And while I had been enjoying the sights of Elder Cave, I had absolutely NO idea what to do in this case.

This brings me to now. I got all of my camping gear, I picked up a box of 100 Mini-Mags (no, not Hydro-Shoks) at the general store, and headed out into the Cibola forest. Where am I going? I don’t know yet. Why not just leave the Elder Cave area? Hey, I’m not done with the sights. Besides, for all I know, there may be a fanfic in all of this.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to hit the trails. I may not be as heavily armed as the Sheriff claims, but I saw what he and the deputies were packing.



To Be CONTINUED?


DAMN!! Forgot to pick up bacon at the general store!!

[Don Alexander]

Cross-posted here for eternity.

Kilopost Geriatric Balcony Rag Productions proudly present:

Elder Cave Fan Fiction

Part LIII: BACON TO ORDER

No.
No!
Exactly.
Yes.
Yes...
Yes, I know how much a ton is.
No, I don't care if it's metric or imperial - though, imperial... Um, where was I?
Yes, anyway - same order of magnitude. And not just a ton, but several.
Indeed.
Oh, I know it'll be expensive. Listen, I have a gazillion imperial credits on my...
WHAT? Since when do you not take imperial credits anymore?
Oh, that. Well, okay, I guess... I have other funds.
Yes, please go ahead and check. *sigh*
.........
I told you so. Now, can we continue?
Well, i don't care if you do use a dump truck.
Exactly. A dump truck full of ewoks.
No, I was being sarcastic. Of course I still want bacon!
Say what?
Yes.
Exactly.
We are that Elder Cave. So how about not messing around.
Yes, I realize you are from out of town, but our supply lines dried up when we had a change of management.
No.
No, I will not.
You claim you can deliver anything on your webpage. I find your lack of delivering ability... disturbing.
Yes, several tons of bacon count as well. Shall I force-launch the Merriam-Webster against your head?? Anything means exactly that.
No, you are not squirming out of this.
Choke you? Come on, I'm trying to make business with you. Though if you test the patience of the Sith any longer...
We have more subtle methods. I'll just send our Elder Ninja Kitty.
Does it matter she has not been seen in months? She's a ninja!! Of course she's invisible!
So, you don't believe me? Hold on a sec.
*Imperial March*
You're wearing a blue tie with Krusty the Klown on it?? Jeez, your sense of taste is just... wrong!
Yes, exactly.
No, you won't be able to see her.
Oh, and stop watching porn during office hours.
I see.
Thank you.
Sure I can thank you. Well, maybe I should reserve it when the dump truck arrives and the pink bear is sated.
Has been nice doing business with you.
*click*


The line "A dump truck full of Ewoks!" is actually from my childhood, a friend of my father used to say it when trying to come up with the ideal present for me...

"First fanfic"

Me likes!!! A nice prelude, looking forward to the 2k!!

Pity so few people have commented on it.