Menage a 3 FanFic

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RemoWilliams
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Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by RemoWilliams » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:52 am

I didn't see anywhere to post FanFiction in this forum, so I decided to start a new thread. If I'm wrong and there is a spot, my apologies. In the meantime, enjoy the fiction:



How Gary Seduced Zii





Zii regarded Gary as she idly dragged a fork through the remains of her Chicken a La Campagne.

"The boy's come a long way", she thought. "He's still got a long way to go, but he's light years ahead from when we first met."

Erik had invited both her and Erika to dinner and she had prevailed upon him to invite Gary as well. Frankly, he needed a night off from the collected insanity of a nutso girlfriend, a sex-crazed amazon and a not-lesbian bass player determined to keep the shit stirred up in any way possible.

Zii had been half worried that Gary would bore Erica with geek-talk about comics or anime. And, she'd been half hoping that he would. The last thing that he needed was yet another love interest.

But, our bespectacled hero had acquitted himself quite well, conversationally. The topic had somehow gotten around to steampunk fashion and it had proved to be unexpectedly interesting. Zii could totally see herself rocking a top hat and brass-studded corset combo.

Finishing off her fourth glass of wine, Erica turned the flirty on and said to Gary, "I'm starting to see why all the ladies find you charming."

True to form, Gary promptly flushed and stuttered out that he was no good with women.

"Really?" Erika gave him a look over the rims of her aviators. "No history of seduction at all?"

"I'm not--- I couldn't---" Gary swallowed and said, "I wouldn't know where to begin with a seduction." Pause. "Except, maybe with Zii."

"What?"

Gary looked over at the petite punker. "I wouldn't because you're dating Erik and he's cool--"

"Thank you."

"--But, out of all the women that I know, I know you best of all. What you like and dislike and stuff."

Reflexively beginning to argue, Zii stopped short. What Gary said actually made sense.

But, Zii never let logic and sense get in the way of a good argument and she did what she usually did when she was on the losing side. I.E. Raise the stakes.

"O.K", she said, leaning back and smirking. "Let's see it."

"Um, what do you mean?" Gary got the feeling that (Yet again) he'd bitten off more than he could chew.

"Show me your seduction technique, stud. After all, you know me so well."

"Uhhhh." Gary nervously gestured towards Erik.

Zii rolled her eyes. "I'll try not to rip my clothes off in front of my boyfriend." Arching a demure glance at Erik, she added, "Right now."

Gary swallowed again and looked at the other three regarding him with various levels of amusement. Then, with a deep breath, he got up and started walking around the table towards Zii.

As he passed by Erik, Gary hesitated and turned to the man. "You know, I meant what I said earlier. You're pretty cool."

"Thank you again."

"And, speaking as an artist, you're a really good-looking dude, too."

"Ooookay", Erik said uncertainly. This was an unexpected turn.

"You've got great hair." Gary leaned over and lightly traced one of Erik's blonde locks with a finger and continued the motion downward to graze his collarbone. "And, a geat body too."

Erik flicked a glance over at Zii and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. Her eyes were the size of saucers and her chin had practically fallen to the floor.

Gary leaned even closer. "I was wondering if you could pose for me sometime?"

"Well, I--"

"Nude, of course."

Now, Zii was bouncing in her seat at a mile a minute and her expression was like somebody who got a pony for Christmas.

Gary leaned in even closer and now his and Erik's lips were only inches apart. "And, so you won't feel shy or anything---", he lowered his voice to a whisper, "--I'll be naked, too."

The two men started to close the slight gap that separated them and...

"GWeeeeEEeeeEeEEEEeeeHeeeEee."

After hearing Zii's hysterical squeal, Gary immediately straightened up and said, "I think that counts as a victory."

"WHAT!?! NO!!! KEEP GOING!!", Zii wailed.

"Impressive acting", Erika said.

"Thanks", Gary replied. "I've got a friend called Dillon and I tried to picture how he'd handle it."

"YOU BASTARDS!! YOU CAN'T JUST STOP THERE!!!"

Erik looked at his irate girlfriend, calculated his odds of getting some when she was in her current mood and came to a swift conclusion. "Gary, I think Zii deserves at least a little more."

A half-hour later, Gary let himself back into the apartment and was greeted by DiDi, who was sitting on the couch and reading a magazine. "Where is Zii?"

"She's spending the night with Erik." The restaurant connected with a fancy hotel and Zii didn't want to wait to get back to Erik's place. The last Gary had seen of her, Zii was heading towards a suite with Erik in one hand and a can of whipped cream in the other.

The statuesque blonde gave a pleased smile for her friend and her ex as she flipped a page. "Ah, un si beau couple." (Such a happy couple)

"Yeah, Zii's a lucky girl." Gary headed towards his bedroom. "I have to admit, Erik's a great kisser. G'Night."

"Bon nuit, Gary," DiDi replied as the door shut behind her. She flipped another page. Then, it finally registered with her.

"Quoi!?"






Remo Williams,
The Master of Sinanju.

philippos42
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by philippos42 » Sun Dec 02, 2012 9:31 am

I started laughing when I realised what Gary was doing, and continued to laugh to the end.
Porn movie logic. Two naked women in the same room; obviously, they're going to have sex.
No, this isn't actually a porn movie. But not everyone seems to have noticed that.
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by Don Alexander » Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:49 am

Promoted to sticky. The DAMNed

That was brilliant!!! Okay, Gary is for sure exhibiting more spine than he has now, but sometime in the future... that was so true to form! :)
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by Spidrift » Sun Dec 02, 2012 8:07 pm

Not bad. You've caught something of the characters.

One stylistic note: you do suffer a little from "Burly Detective" Syndrome.
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Setlist

Post by Spidrift » Tue Nov 11, 2014 1:18 pm

Scene: A Rented Rehearsal Room, Montreal.

[Four women enter the room, three of them carrying assorted musical equipment which they proceed to set up. (Two of them, Zii and Sonya, will evidently be sharing a microphone some of the time, and there is a little trouble getting that set comfortably, as they differ considerably in height. Yuki, the drummer, scowls at this process.) The fourth, Peggy, is carrying a covered tray. She flips the cover open to reveal an array of muffins, which the other three fall on with enthusiasm. When they've finished eating...]

Zii: Okay, girls, the good news is that we've got the gig next week. The bad news is that they're only giving us an hour, including encores, but I'm sure we can make the most of that. The setlist I sent you should be about right - nine songs plus a couple of encores.

Yuki: We're still just doing cover versions, then?

Zii: Yeah, I'm not completely happy with any of my own new songs yet.

Sonya: I'm sure that they'll be great when you've finished them!

Yuki: What about those songs you wrote with Angel last year?

Zii: Uh, yeah, well. Anyway, thanks to Peggy for coming along; we can use some audience feedback on this.

Yuki: And her muffins!

Peggy (staring and smiling at Sonya): Oh, it's always my pleasure to help with muffins!

Zii: Oh... kay... Anyway, we'll start this gig slow, like I said.

Sonya: Why this song? It's not really our style, is it?

Zii: We'll make the choruses rock. Anyhow, the point is that, well, I really like Jung's stage costumes, but they're a bit kiddie, really. We need to make it clear that we're wild animals. We rock!

Sonya: Okay, you and I need to get the harmonies right on the opening.

Zii: Then Yuki - you follow our lead on the rhythm.

Yuki: Hai!

[They tinker with the sound a little as Peggy watches, then...]

Zii and Sonya (harmony): The route of our journey is traced out in pink,
A map of the continents waiting to sink...


[Sonya steps back]

Zii: We're an army in training, me and my band...

[This leads into a full run through of Here Are Many Wild Animals.]

Zii and Sonya (harmony): ...Come little rodent, come little carnivore,
Eat your dinner.


Peggy: Woo!

Zii: Thanks. We are Zii and the Troublemakers, blah, blah blah... Then I tell them that the next one is about why they should pay attention to us.

Yuki: Okay, I've got the beat...

Zii (after a deep breath): Sit by my window and look outside...

[They launch into a run through of Local Girls.]

Zii: ...Don't bother with the local girls!

Yuki: That's great! But I don't get what the next one is about, though.

Sonya (fake-kindly): It's about you, sweetheart.

[As Yuki restrains herself from leaping to her feet, Sonya starts a one-note bassline. Zii hastily adds the guitar part and then the vocals.]

Zii: Keep on takin' your medication,
Lock that temper behind those pills...


[The band pulls together a solid rendition of Psycho. By now, Peggy is dancing like a maniac.]

Zii: ...I go with a psycho, I go with a psycho!

[A momentary pause for breath.]

Sonya: Hey, did you say that I could sing lead on the next couple of songs?

Zii (suddenly oddly uncertain): Sure, I guess. I mean, Yuki suggested the first one for you. It's a bit...

Sonya: Bubblegum?

Zii: Yeah.

Yuki: But it suits Sonya so well!

[Sonya sticks her tongue out at Yuki. Zii facepalms.]

Zii: Look, if you don't like it, Sonya...

Sonya: No, actually. I do like it. Anyway, you put all that work into rearranging it. Switching the synth parts to guitar was really cool.

Zii: Thank you.

[She tinkers with her guitar, and Sonya and Yuki follow her lead.]

Sonya: Got a figure like a pinup,
Got a figure like a doll,
Don’t care if you think I’m dumb,
I don’t care at all...


[After a couple of false starts, they manage a full run through of Bubblegum Bitch. The only problem is that Sonya keeps addressing the chorus to Zii, until Peggy manages to catch her eye with some truly berserk dancing.]

Sonya: ...I’m gonna be your bubblegum bitch,
I’m gonna be your bubblegum bitch!


Zii: Okay, that's cool. I still don't know why you suggested the next one for yourself, though. I mean, we need to slow the set down here, sure, but this song?

Peggy: Oh, that was my idea. It's a bass player's song, isn't it?

Yuki: I like it. Sting is cute!

[Zii winces as Sonya clears her throat and sings.]

Sonya: You consider me the young apprentice...

[As they assemble the song, Peggy suddenly refrains from trying to hold Sonya's attention, and so Sonya ends up fairly blatantly singing Wrapped Around Your Finger directly to Zii. By the end of the song, Zii is curled round her guitar, concentrating on the tune and trying not to catch anyone's eye.]

Sonya (softly): ...You'll be wrapped around my finger.
I'll be wrapped around your finger.


Yuki: Are you okay, Zii?

Zii (snapping at her): I'm fine! Let's get on with that next song! It's my favourite in the set!

Sonya: Good. I like to hear you sing it too.

[Zii winces again, but pulls herself together to sing.]

Zii: No evolution,
Sometimes it depresses me,
The same old same,
We keep repeating history...


[A run-through of Sex Is Not the Enemy follows.]

Zii: ...A revolution,
Is the solution,
Sex is not the enemy,
A revolution!


Peggy: Woo!

Zii (desperately businesslike): And the next one is to make the audience happy, okay? It's just for them! Nothing to do with any of us!

Sonya: Yes of course.

Yuki: Hai!

Zii: Good. I had to go track down a basic guitar version specially...

[She advances to the front of stage.]

Zii: I've come across the desert
To greet you with a smile...


[The band perform Take Me I'm Yours, while Peggy watches smiling and Yuki and Sonya work together in a businesslike fashion to provide the rhythm part. At the end, those two catch themselves smiling at each other, and hastily stop.]

Zii: ...Take me I'm yours,
Because dreams are made of this,
Forever there'll be
A heaven in your kiss.


[Peggy applauds.]

Zii: Right. That's fine. The next one is a mid-pace thing to wind down a bit, and we need some harmonies - got that, Sonya?

Sonya (enthusiastically): Harmonies it is!

Zii: She makes her bed first thing in the morning
So she won't crawl back in...


[Peggy tries desperately to catch Sonya's eye to calm her down. But it becomes clear, as the band perform The Good Girls, that now, Zii is more or less singing to Sonya, who almost blushes in response.]

Zii: ...She says I work so hard to get my house with a yard,
Zii and Sonya (harmony): But sometimes I wonder why I do any of it.

Zii: Aaaaannd... Okay, uh, now we've got the last song of the main set. So let's make 'em beg for more!

Sonya: Isn't this one a bit bubblegum too?

Zii: Blame Jung, it was his idea. He seems to like the Pipettes. Anyway, it's not bubblegum the way we're going to do it. Sonya, take a breath first, then you take us into it...

Sonya: Got it. You'll need both of us for the responses on the chorus, and me for the harmonies, right?

Zii: Yeah, you got it.

[Sonya smirks broadly, and hits the bassline that Zii wants.]

Zii: I don't want to fall in love,
I don't want to see the stars up above in the sky,
I just wanna catch your eye...


[That takes the band into Because It's Not Love (But It's Still A Feeling).]

Zii and Sonya (harmony): ...To move closer next to you!
To move closer next to you!


Peggy: Woo! More! More! We want more Sonya!

Zii: Okay, okay, yes, that's ... the sort of thing we want to hear. So, go off, beat, let 'em shout a bit, lights dim, back on, lights back up...

Sonya: And then we give them a folk song?

Zii: Folk rock. Anyway, I like it. It just seems ... suitable, somehow.

Sonya: Whatever you say. Still, it's a bit of a downer, isn't it?

Zii: First song of the encore. We've got to wind things down a bit.

[Sonya looks set to say more, but Zii frowns and launches into the guitar part of Keep Your Distance, and Yuki follows obediently with the drum part as Zii launches into the vocals.]

Zii: If I cross your path again, who knows where, who knows when,
On some morning without number, on some highway without end,
Don't grasp my hand and say "Fate has brought you here today"
Oh fate is only fooling with us, friend...


[Sonya shrugs and hits the bass part and then the chorus harmonies. None of the three are looking at each other, though.]

Zii and Sonya (harmony): ...Keep your distance, oh keep your distance,
When I feel you close to me what can I do but fall?
Keep your distance, oh keep your distance,
With us it must be all or none at all.
With us it must be all or none at all.
With us it must be all or none at all.


[By the end of the song, Zii and Sonya have wandered to the two front corners of the stage. Yuki ends the song with a two-handed cymbal strike, and after a brief pause, Peggy does her best to provide enthusiastic cheering.]

Zii (suddenly oddly uncertain): Thank you. We're Zii and the Troublemakers, and we've got time for just one more song.

Sonya (abruptly pulling herself together): So let's shake some action!

[Peggy's whoop of enthusiasm is drowned by Zii's guitar as the band do indeed launch into Shake Some Action, sung as a duet by by Zii and Sonya.]

Zii and Sonya (harmony): I will find a way
To get to you some day...


[The guitar and bass parts of the song turn into something of a duel between Zii and Sonya, held together by Yuki's increasingly desperate drumming, and the song ends more apocalyptically than its original version.]

Zii and Sonya (harmony): ...Shake some action's what I need
To let me bust out at full speed,
I'm sure that's all you need
To make it all right!


[Yuki's drumsticks go spinning up into the air; she catches one, while Sonya has to dodge the other.]

Zii: Thank you! You're a great audience! G'night!

Sonya: Uh, Zii?

Zii: What?

Sonya: I think that Peggy has passed out again...
Last edited by Spidrift on Wed Oct 26, 2016 4:46 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by Don Alexander » Tue Nov 11, 2014 4:54 pm

:))

But the last sentence... Doesn't she mean Peggy? Sonya saying Sonya has passed out is a bit too meta.
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by Spidrift » Tue Nov 11, 2014 5:52 pm

Uh, yes. Thanks. Fixed.

Thinking more about this - one thing I didn't address was what happens when Zii and Sonya try to share a microphone in best Bowie/Ronson style - which is definitely required for "Shake Some Action", if nothing else. The height adjustment is going to be a sod.
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"Brevior vita est quam pro futumentibus negotium agendo."
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by Spidrift » Thu Nov 13, 2014 10:51 am

I've expanded the above story a little, because, well, I could, and I thought that adding quotes from the lyrics involved worked a bit.
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Re: Menage a 3 FanFic

Post by Don Alexander » Sat Oct 29, 2016 12:57 pm

GARY'S COSMIC STUPIDITY

At the beginning of time, just a fraction of a second after the ziG Bang (ca. May 2008), the monotony of Gary's job created a false vacuum in his head. At this time, Gary and his stupidity were all described by one unified theory, and Gary was incredibly dense.

The false vacuum then decayed, driving a vast superluminal expansion in his head, and his stupidity inflated far beyond the reader comprehension horizon. At the same time, any interesting personality deviations were ruthlessly flattened and spread out to become unrecognizable, flat as a doormat.

Time passes, and we, the observers, become aware of more and more of Gary's stupidity. But among it, the first experiences blossom, a certain light of comprehension fights against the darkness of empty stupidity, and the expansion of stupidity is retarded, slowed down, ever more, by the creation of large-scale character development.

Alas, a recent discovery has revealed that Stupid Energy underlies everything, and now we must cope with the fact that Gary's stupidity's expansion is actually accelerating evermore.

By the end of the Twelve Volumes of the Universe, Gary's stupidity will have become all-encompassing, causing a Big Rip-Your-Hair-Out. and then it's simply The End.
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