Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

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shutupadrian
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Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Mon May 16, 2011 6:53 am

So I gone done started posting my comic online.

http://thisiswherewebelong.smackjeeves.com/

It be updating Mondays and Thursdays.

I will be expecting your adoration now, but surely I will be disappointed.

Seriously, though, let me know what you think. Be as brutal as necessary, but do try to be constructive please.

Looking back at it, though, I can see why it didn't get a response from the folks at YenPress. Some significant storytelling problems, methinks. But whatever, there it is.

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Dai
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by Dai » Mon May 16, 2011 4:30 pm

It's a good start, I just hope the introduction won't take too long. I'm looking forward for the action scenes, I'll probably criticize that area the most.

[EDIT]: Forgot to mention that some of the eyes and hands are drawn incorrectly, but those should be easy to fix.

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shutupadrian
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Tue May 17, 2011 2:55 am

Hands. The bane of my existence.

Well, whatever. Also, some of those "significant storytelling problems" I mentioned earlier are there because I front-loaded the thing with backstory which, in retrospect, was probably unnecessary. So it does take a while to hit the more actiony parts.

Anyways, please stick around. It might get better.

But the hands won't. I've always had some trouble with that.

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by yesterdayshero » Tue May 17, 2011 2:59 am

I like the artstyle, I really loved pg.2, the back layouts with the boxes were tight, the expressions were good.

Ok, lineweight is the biggest problem I see, abit of anatomy, some perspective. The intro took abit maybe you should have given abit of detail right off the bat of the main character's fighting abilities.

Keep at it~
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Tue May 17, 2011 3:08 am

yesterdayshero wrote:I like the artstyle, I really loved pg.2, the back layouts with the boxes were tight, the expressions were good.
Thanks!
Ok, lineweight is the biggest problem I see
[/quote]

I've fixed the line weight issue... ...32 pages later. :sweat:

I was using brush pens for this prologue, but I've since switched to brush and ink. That solved, like, half the problems there. My line weights are still a bit thick, but I kinda like it as is. I might try a nib pen next. Results might not be in for a while, however.

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by yesterdayshero » Tue May 17, 2011 3:13 am

Lol ok then, so is this the Yen entry or a webcomic?
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Tue May 17, 2011 3:25 am

yesterdayshero wrote:Lol ok then, so is this the Yen entry or a webcomic?
This was the Yen entry. Turning it into a webcomic now, I suppose, although it was always meant to be the first of a long-running series.

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by yesterdayshero » Tue May 17, 2011 4:28 am

Excellent will follow~
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Dai
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by Dai » Tue May 17, 2011 5:13 am

shutupadrian wrote:Hands. The bane of my existence.

Well, whatever. Also, some of those "significant storytelling problems" I mentioned earlier are there because I front-loaded the thing with backstory which, in retrospect, was probably unnecessary. So it does take a while to hit the more actiony parts.

Anyways, please stick around. It might get better.

But the hands won't. I've always had some trouble with that.
Just try different ways to draw hands and maybe you'll find a helpful method.
And we'll see if these back stories does make a negative impact on the pacing of the entire thing. It's too early to determine that right now.

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by StrateryB » Tue May 17, 2011 8:40 pm

Art is nice, but as already mentioned, hands seem to be off at times. Can't say much about the story since it's only started, but I'll definitely watch as it updates.

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:57 am

Been trying to fix some hands on the chapter I'm currently working on. Hopefully it's getting better.
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by yesterdayshero » Thu Jun 02, 2011 1:48 pm

I really do enjoy this handjob...
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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:56 pm

yesterdayshero wrote:I really do enjoy this handjob...
Thanks, but it remains to be seen whether or not there's a happy ending.

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by shutupadrian » Fri Aug 19, 2011 11:05 pm

Hey all.

Thought I'd mention that the last of the 32 pages was posted the other night, and so now my (failed) submission to the Yen Press "Talent Search" is up in its entirety.

First page here: http://thisiswherewebelong.smackjeeves. ... 01-page-1/

Critique away.

Also...

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Re: Shutupadrian presents: This Is Where We Belong

Post by yesterdayshero » Sat Aug 20, 2011 1:03 am

=///= Looks yummy!
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