Corrupt-a-Wish

[Fen]

Granted. You shall now sleep 12 hours a day peacefully, and oversleep for all the jobs you will ever have.

I wish I could play guitar.

[Pneumonica]

Granted, Mr. Khaury. You're now better known as Tiny Tim, and your performance of Tiptoe Through the Tulips was hysterical.

I wish I could cry.

[Don Alexander]

Granted. You can now cry. It feels so awesome you cry at everything. A biker gang thinks you're an emo, beats you up with tire irons and you die.

I wish I had more money.

Edit: Lily, the exclamation point answer was teh awesumz!!!

[Asaryu]

Granted: You lose all your teetha dn the tooth fairy gives you a gold coin for each. You have 'more' money, but are toothless.

I wish I knew what was being said about me!

[Don Alexander]

I wish I knew what was being said about me!

Granted. Knowledge floods your mind. All PMs from forumites dealing with you are now known to you. Everything anyone in your surroundings has ever said behind your back is now know to you. Much is wonderful. But much is not. You disregard the nice things, and focus on the bad. You begin hating people you liked before, because they have not been totally truthful with you. Still, you act upon what others say and change yourself. While your lot does start to improve, people get the feeling you are reading their mind. They start avoiding you and talk even worse about you. The voices just don't stop!! The more you go insane, the more the voices rise, forcing you ever deeper into insanity. You end up in a psychatric ward, catatonic, whispers of pity your only accomplices. Let this be a lesson to you.

I wish I actually had gotten a gold coin for the tooth that was brutally ripped out of me this summer...

[Alisonchan]

Granted! You got a gold coin for every tooth you got ripped out this summer! Unfortunately, those gold coins were stolen by your dentist by some very angry pirates (not the "ye matey" kind, the South African hijacking kind). Sweaty, angry men who don't speak your language and want to tear out your kidneys (and possibly sell them) gun your ass down while you are brushing your teeth one morning, and steal back their gold. How ironic!

I wish I never had a bad hair day, ever.

[Lilianna]

Granted. You are bald.

I wish that I didn't feel like such a bitch for not going to my little sister's class party.

(I think I shall have to write the exclamation point answer, hu-uh?)

[thaldin]

Granted - You realize you have no little sister at all anymore...

I wish I had an uncorruptable wish *smirks* =)

[Ithilion]

granted, but you keep forgetting to post it

i wish i could control some people

[Don Alexander]

i wish i could control some people

Granted, but when the populace becomes sick of you, it's burning pitchforks and a noose for you.

I wish I were home already.

[Alisonchan]

Granted, you get home instantly, but it is coincidentally the same time that your house is burning down. You burn to death in an incinerating blaze, and scream as your flesh melts and bubbles off. For some reason, you actually die of your wounds instead of smoke inhalation. Poo.

I wish I wasn't too cold or too hot at any time.

[Asaryu]

You find yourself on a beautiful, temperate island. However you have no food or water, and the natives are hostile. You try to fight them off macgyver style witha toothpick, a rubber-band and a compass, but defeat is inevitable. You die painfully, but at a comfortable temperature.

I wish for less cleaning to do.

[cyanide_sweet]

Granted. Your house blows up. Nothin' to clean now!

I wish for... nothing. I am content

[Dirty n Evil]

I wish for... nothing. I am content

Granted. You get... nothing! But then you grow hungry, and you have nothing. You slowly starve to death. ;)

I wish I was on a hockey team that instead of playing great all season only to forget how to play as a "team" and fold in the league finals, actually wins the championship game. When your team does this a few times in a row, you kinda hope they'd have learned...

[Tenjen]

You turn on the TV and watch a few advertisements with brain washing subliminal messages!

Its time to BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY BUY and on credit too!

I wish to be able to change matter and energy as i wish!