Corrupt-a-Wish

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Pneumonica
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Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Pneumonica » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:34 am

Okay, so, I thought I'd coin my first thread. This is the "Corrupt-a-Wish". In the post immediately prior to yours, you will find a wish. You must then reply with "Granted, but...", to horribly corrupt their life to misery for having their wish granted.

Example:

"I wish I was wealthy."

"Granted, Mr. Madoff. I wish I wasn't diabetic."

So, to start with...

I wish I wasn't diabetic.
Further affiant sayeth not.

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Dirty n Evil
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Dirty n Evil » Thu Dec 18, 2008 12:43 am

Okay, being Evil and all that, I think it's up to me to make the first Evil reply.
Pneumonica wrote:I wish I wasn't diabetic.
Granted, Pneu. We've changed you into someone who isn't diabetic... you are now Celine Dion. :))

*wince* Wow, I have to step up to this now, don't I? Hmmm. I wish I had a better paying job in which I didn't have to deal with the public at large. (I know this one is going to kill me...)
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Don Alexander » Thu Dec 18, 2008 1:40 am

Dirty n Evil wrote:I wish I had a better paying job in which I didn't have to deal with the public at large.
Granted, DnE, but when the Americans invade the country of your employment in their war on terror, the torture master (i.e., you) will get the death sentence too.

I wish I had been the first to answer this thread... And I really wish it stays purely on topic. :p
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by midgetshrimp » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:13 am

Heh, I love this thread (in another on the other forum I frequent).

Granted, but, because of your thread stealing ways, we form an angry mob with torches and flaming bottles of Baileys and chase you through the countryside.

I wish my knee would stop acting up. Damn residuals.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Asaryu » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:39 am

Granted: Your knee stops acting up and becomes a model student. However he shows you up and ends up beating your grades at uni, embarrassing you in front of your parents. :P (I love puns)

I wish I had a teleportation device.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by midgetshrimp » Thu Dec 18, 2008 2:49 am

Granted, but you end up here. Wouldn't that suck for you :p

I wish when two ideas get put together, they were always made great. (pomegranate = good. green tea = good. pomegranate green tea = :ymsick: )
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Ithilion » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:00 am

granted, you get liquid nitrogen to drink, now you're frozen solid

i wish i hadn't slept past the time i could order something to eat
Last edited by Ithilion on Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Lilianna » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:07 am

Granted. But your phone blows up in a fiery disaster, killing you and the person who brought you the food.

I wish it wasn't Winter Break already.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Ithilion » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:09 am

granted, you are now stuck repeating the same day

*points to posse's wish*
Last edited by Ithilion on Sun Jan 11, 2009 1:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Lilianna
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Lilianna » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:14 am

Granted. Your... hand... blows up in a fiery disaster.

I wish the day I was repeating was tomorrow.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Retiarius » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:50 am

posseforlife wrote:I wish I weren't so bored.
Granted. You appear on the fourth level of the Zoo of Death. All the doors and cages are unlocked. Hope you wore your running shoes. :ymdevil:

And now, my wish, just to show what true, industrial-grade “ebilness” really is:

I wish this was the last post on this or any similar thread on these forums. :D

Edit: I see my wish was not granted. I therefore officially and automatically make my Reflex save against any consequences, with Evasion, and take no damage. :-B

I win the thread! I win the thread! :ymparty: \:D/ \m/
Last edited by Retiarius on Thu Dec 18, 2008 4:06 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Asaryu » Thu Dec 18, 2008 3:53 am

Granted, but there is a localised outbreak of boredom and the angry, bored masses lynch you as the harbringer of this most horrifying infection. Oh, and your parents stop loving you. :P

Oh, and I wish for the ability to remember people's names.
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Pneumonica
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Pneumonica » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:05 am

Granted, but you still can't connect them to a face or voice.

I wish I was in Finland.
Further affiant sayeth not.

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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Dirty n Evil » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:16 am

Pneumonica wrote:I wish I was in Finland.
Granted - only, it's the Winter Olympics and Finland has just lost the gold medal to Sweden because of a lousy call by the referees. You're killed in the resulting rioting.

I wish I could become the accomplished author I always wanted to be.
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Re: Corrupt-a-Wish

Post by Asaryu » Thu Dec 18, 2008 8:18 am

Granted, but your work goes unrecognised until after your death. You spend your last years as a binge-drinking, womanising eccentric.

I wish I had the money to travel.
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