Pixie Trix Comix & Hiveworks Community

I was browsing the web for some random jokes when I came across a joke that reminded me of the Halloween pic from Piratess:

What do pirates call a cute wench?
Aye Candy.

So I came up with this idea:
post your favorite (lame) Pirate jokes.

I'll start off with ten of them to get you guys and gals in the mood.

Why are pirates affraid of corners?
S'currrrrrrrvey!

Why didn't pirates finish school?
When reciting the alphabet the teachers disagreed on the existence of 7 C's!

It has 8 legs, 8 eyes, 8 arms.
8 Pirates.

3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates.

What did the 86 year old pirate get for his birthday?
Arrrrrrthritis.

What do you call a stupid pirate?
The pillage idiot.

What's a pirate's favorite music?
Arrrr 'n B!

What did the pirate say when his peg leg got stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!

Why is pirating addictive?
Once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!

Do you know more pirate jokes?
Neither do Ayyyyyee!

Q. What did one pirate say to another pirate?
A. Hijack!

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender looks at him.

'Are you aware, sir, that there's a steering wheel in your pants?'

'Arr, aye. It's drivin' me nuts.'

Q. Must a pirate always have a little bird on his shoulder?
A. A-parrot-ly!

Q. What's a pirate's favorite letter?
A. The 'P' because it's an R, but it's missing a leg.

What was the pirate movie rated?

ARRR!



that's the only one I know

Aye, me mateys, 'tis hard work bein' a pirate. In truth, there be on'y two kinds of pirates: tired pirates, and retired pirates.

What do Pirates and pimps have in common?

They both say "Yo Ho!" and walk with a limp.

A bold and cunning pirate captain was (in)famous for his daring and skill. But he had one very strange mannerism: as soon as he woke up every morning, he would unlock a small safe, take a little box from it, and read a message in the box. Eventually, the other pirates noticed this, and when the captain died, they were able to open the safe and read the message. It said-
"Starboard = right, port = left."

Q. Which Beatles song do pirates like best?
A. "You've Got To Hide Your Trove Away"

The Dread Pirate Tiffany!

There, I posted.

"All your worst nightmares ever to come true."

How many Lemmings does it take to walk the plank?

All of them.

Q. Why did the pirate jump off the burning ship?
A. Because he didn't want to make an ash out himself!

Q. What did the incompetent pirate say as the police boat caught up with him?
A. Curses! Hydrofoiled again!