Eerie Cuties/Magick Chicks/Dangerously Chloe fanfics

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qazqwe
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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by qazqwe » Fri Sep 09, 2011 11:01 pm


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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by Artemisia » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:23 am

I am using my fiction writing here as something of a means to practice. It is more or less a safe 'sandbox' for me to do so. This is a revision. I am testing out if it is possible for me to weave two or three stories of different characters together, though with the first person structure.

Part 1 Revised:

Artemisia:


“Artemisia Boudicca Constantina Delamour! You are going to be late for school!”

Mother’s voice cut through the intervening floor like a knife. I let out a sigh. I was dragging and not really ready to go to school. After all, why should I want to go to a school with boys in it? That had lead to another fight with Mother. There were boys at this school, and I really did not feel comfortable with men constantly being around me. They tend to ogle me and make me feel, well, little. Being half succubus did not help that one bit. I quickly put my barrette over my horns.

I had no choice. Charybdis Heights was the only school in the area for monsters like myself. I wanted to go to Artemis Academy...even the name sounded wonderful. Artemis- virgin goddess of the wilds. . .and the hunt. There in lay the problem. It was a hunter school.

My mother called out again, and I frowned. I turned from the mirror, grabbed my satchel, and ran down the stairs. Of course, mother was standing there with her arms under her rather ample bosom, her hat hiding her horns, and her foot tapping. Her full lips were taught with frustration. Without a word, she hurried me out to the car.

Once we were on the way to school, Mother spoke. “Remember, Arte, you need to walk home from school. I won’t get out of the recording session today until around six.” I mumbled something to her so she knew I heard her. “I know you wish that this was your old school, but Athene School is a long ways away. Just try to be nice to the boys.”

I muttered something. “Look, Arte, you are a succubus, that means that you will find yourself a nice man to settle down with.” I rolled my eyes and sighed dramatically. Not this again! “Maybe being around them a bit more might help you get over this silly phobia you have of them, and your phase with the girls.”

I bit my lip and did not say anything. It was hardly a phase. Yeah, sure, succubi were not exactly forbidden from being with other girls, but being a lesbian succubus...now that was frowned upon.

“Arti, just try, ok. If nothing else, you need to at least accept boys as beings in their own right. Alright, I’ll drop it,” Mother said. Of course, that meant she would drop it for now.

We stayed silent until the car pulled up in front of Charybdis Heights. I slunk out of the car with a rather half hearted wave to my mother and walked up to the doors of the rather gloomy edifice. Students were still streaming in, so it was not like we were cutting it that close.

Lilith:


“Not good enough, Lilly! On your feet now!” Father barked at me. This was tiresome. Why Father had to take my flaws out on me like this did not help. I was a pathetic esper. Father was a stocky man who could pretty much push his way through a crowd of werewolves with just his mind. I could barely knock over a butterfly.

I shifted my weight and kicked out with my foot. I knew that Father would be upset, but maybe I could convince him to finally let me fight my way. I connected with his knee. He grunted and fell over, landing leaning on the door jam. I grabbed the little table in the hallway and moved to hit him with it.

I slammed hard enough into the wall to leave a massive dent in it.

“You would use crude attacks against me?” I felt the whiplash of Father’s mind hit my face leaving yet another light scar across my cheek. “Lilith Amanda Mortensen, get your books. No breakfast for you if you cannot manage to keep your eyes open!”

I sighed. Mother would have slipped something into my book bag for me to eat when I was away from Father. She never actually challenged him, of course. I thought about not coming from school that night. Why should I?

When I was far enough away from home, I pulled out the apple Mother had slipped into my book bag and started chewing on it.
Last edited by Artemisia on Fri Oct 28, 2011 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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"I'm going to do what I do best...lecture her."- Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
"Hello, I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife." - Madam Vastra (Doctor Who "The Snowmen")
"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." The 4th Doctor Doctor Who "Robot"

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by Debatra » Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:13 pm

Never announce a POV shift. Just use a page break. Three dashes in a row is generally sufficient.

---

Although it's normally better to just sacrifice length and call it a new chapter if you want to publish, fanfiction finds page breaks acceptable.

...What? Her stated goal is to get better at this; therefore I'm all but obligated to fall back to the hardass critic inside. You guys only don't see it until now because it was uncalled for (and the strict 'more honest than nice' policy sin't too popular).
Kaedanis Pyran, tai faernae.

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by Artemisia » Mon Sep 19, 2011 6:05 pm

As long as you aren't a jerk about it, Debatra, and I don't think you will be, criticism is just fine :) And thank you. I just tend to get aggravated when there's a shift in perspective and I get confused.
Avatar thanks to Saikoh
"I'm going to do what I do best...lecture her."- Twilight Sparkle (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
"Hello, I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife." - Madam Vastra (Doctor Who "The Snowmen")
"There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes." The 4th Doctor Doctor Who "Robot"

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by 'J' » Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:31 am

since people seemed to actually like it, i thought i'd drop my contest entry here.
'J' wrote:An Unusual Day


as the lunch bell rang, wilhelmina twigitt watched students flood the hallways of charybdis heights. she spotted the lyn and love girls coming from their lockers, the former absorbed with her phone.

"Hi aunt Désirée, it's Chloe."

"Hey, Serpentor!" as usual, the older delacroix girl's voice was cold and hard. "Where's Nina? Elanor mixed our lunches up again."

"It's nice to talk to you too aunt Désirée. Can you come pick me up at school? No, they're at work. I think I caught a cold last night at the beach with my friends. I'm going to the nurse right now."

"Mr. Pervis asked her to stay after class." replied brooke "Something about an extra credit assignment."

"What?!" the fear in layla's eyes was perhaps the first emotion other than anger wilhelmina had seen in two years, and she shared it. Before she could do anything though, layla was gone.


jeffrey entered the janitor's closet, fumbling for the light switch with one hand, and his mop with the other. he found the first and light filled the small room, but the mop and bucket were nowhere to be seen. that succubus girl had sneezed hearts all over girl's room and if he didn't get them cleaned up there was going to be trouble.

he looked behind the door, and in the cupboard, but that damn mop was nowhere to be seen. without thinking he pulled aside a red tarp to check behind, and came face to face with himself.


layla sprinted up the stairs, the other students appearing stationary in comparison. "If he's..." no, she couldn't think about it right now. now was for running.

when she reached room 301, there was a moment of relief; it was empty. the moment gave way to panic; it was empty. where were they? does he have her? did she escape? was layla really just overreacting? something shining and yellow caught her eye under pervis' desk. when she picked it up, she found that the doll's head had been made concave, and torn completely from it's body.

"Where are they!" layla demanded of blair "Where!"

the remnant of the doll was silent.


chloe sat outside the school nurse's office waiting her turn and trying to hold back a sneeze. the lizard twins were coming down the hallway toward her and she shrank into her chair hoping not to be seen.

lax (or possibly jux) elbowed his brother in the ribs and pointed, nodding. mirror grins split their faces as they approached chloe. she could feel the anxiety rising, along with something else as they sat down to either side of her. the one on her left leaned in close to say something, he was much too close, she could smell the mice on his breath.

and then chloe sneezed.


ace wasn't paying attention to his lunch, or what brooke was saying, or anything other then that damned squirrel across the yard. look at it over there; strutting around at ground level, not a care in the world. she could probably get it before it reached the nearest tree.

"Fido!" that did get ace's attention. it always did. the entire schoolyard was looking at layla, but layla wasn't looking at any of them, she was looking at ace. in a blink she was across it and in her face, ace's ears lay down and she hunched with her tail between her legs.

"Where is she?!"

"What?" layla smelled strange.

"Nina! Where's Nina?!" not just angry, layla always smelled angry, if she didn't know layla, ace would say she smelled afraid.

"I, I haven't seen her since french..."

"Find Her!" layla shoved something into ace's hands. it was the head of nina's doll, and it looked like someone had used it for a hammer. It smelled like nina, and like Mr. Pervis' suffocating aftershave. ace realized what layla smelled like.

she smelled like panic.


yerffej couldn't remember anybody putting up a fight like that. this was some kind of body he had now. except for the face. when he'd checked himself out in the regular mirror, he had decided it was best to keep the mask. as jeffrey futilely pounded on the inside of the mirror to escape, yerffej draped the red tarp back over it.

yerffej went to the rack with the yard tools. he passed over the rake, and the hedge trimmer, he passed over the ho, and lingered on the shovel a moment before his eyes were drawn to the machete. it felt good in his hand, like it belonged there. he heard shuffling and dragging footsteps approaching the door with muffled voices.

as the doorknob turned yerffej stepped aside into the shadows behind the mirror, careful not to touch it. three kids entered, two lizard boys covered in some sort of pink powder dragging a busty young succubus. the one with his hand over her mouth held her around the waste as the other jammed the door with a heavy stack of chairs.

"Let me go! I don't want to do this!" she shrieked as the first boy dropped her.

"Hey, don't be like that," he said.

"you'll love it when we get going." the other finished.

yerffej looked on in curiosity as she made a dash at the blocked door, but the lizards grabbed her. the girl let out a wordless squeal as one of them started pulling at her shirt and the other one knelt down behind her.

"Jeffrey!" she yelled as she spotted yerffej watching them from behind the mirror. "Jeffery help me please!"

"Huh?" one of the lizard boys looked his way as yerffej stepped out of the shadows, his machete raised. the other boy screamed something incomprehensible as it came down, severing his friend's neck.

the cut was clean, and the head popped absurdly up into the air under the arterial pressure. the other boy watched motionless as it fell to the ground and rolled to his feet. it blinked once. he'd forgotten the girl entirely, and it was only when she elbowed him in the ribs that he started moving again, running for the blocked door just as she had.

the blade came down through his collar bone before he'd made three steps. he staggered and struggled against the machete stuck in his ribs for only a moment before falling to his knees. yerffej pulled the blade out and brought it down again.

and again.

and again.

and again.

"Thank you Jeffery!" the girl wrapped her arms around yerffej's waste. her words became muffled as she pressed her face into his hip, but they sounded like she was repeting 'thank you thank you' between sobs.

yerffej raised his machete again, and a girl's screams echoed through the empty school halls. he closed the door behind him as he left, and did not hear the groundskeeper's radio as it squawked to life.


wilhelmina sat in the teacher's lounge, the school walky-talky in her hand "Jeffrey, Code P. I repeat, Code P! He has the younger Delacroix this time, and you need to find them. Jeffrey respond!" she threw the radio against the wall in frustration, of course he couldn't respond. she needed to calm down and think.

she sat at the lounge's computer and brought up the school security grid. there were cameras everywhere, but she couldn't find anything. she checked the recording, but they had all been erased. pervis was good at covering his tracks, he wouldn't have lasted this long if he wasn't. in desperation she logged into the local cellular phone network. this was extremely illegal, but the encryption was only 256bit, so within moments she had coordinates on almost every student, teacher, faculty member, and miscellaneous humanoid within a five mile radius.

but not nina, and not pervis. the last coordinates before their phones went dead was room 301, which she could see was empty.

defeated, wilhelmina fell into the lounge's couch. there was nothing she could do. nothing.

"Is everything alright Willa Sama?" wilhelmina nearly jumped out of her skin at the soft voice of ms. futakuchi. how long had she been there?

"No, it's, it's nothing I can talk about. The teacher's union would..." she settled into the chair "I can't talk about it Miki San. And I can't do anything either." miki put a hand on her shoulder and drew her close. it was distracting, but wilhelmina needed distraction. black hair drew around her. she needed to think about anything except what she couldn't stop.


brooke followed after ace and layla as best she could. at lupine speed even she had trouble keeping up, but of course layla had kept yelling at ace to move faster. eventually though even layla had to admit there were limits to what yelling at people could accomplish, and she'd fallen silent. brooke had given up on getting her to explain what was happening, and just focused on running. layla had to know how crazy she seemed, how crazy she had looked in front of the whole schoolyard. and the fact that she didn't care scared brooke more than anything.

ace stopped at the door to the school's basement. she sniffed around for a moment before resting her forepaws against it and saying "They're in there."

layla kicked the door not in, but apart. it exploded from it's hinges sending a shower of splinters and shards down the stairs. with vampiric speed she descended into the shadows, seeming not to care if brooke or ace followed. they found her in the basement hallway, looking at the doors to the different storage and utility rooms. ace's hackles rose and her ears lay back, she pointed with her nose at the boiler room door. a long, low growl came from her throat.

layla stalked to the door, and hesitated a long time with her hand on the knob. brooke had never seen an expression like that on her face, conflicted and indecisive and afraid and angry all at the same time. but in a moment anger won out, and layla tore the door straight from it's hinges.

nina was there, looking at them in shock, as was arman pervis. in his left hand he had a spray bottle, his right held a pair of scissors and a comb, it grabbled in excitement.

"Layla!" he said grinning, "You came to see me?"

"Nina, I want you to go with Brooke and Ace right now." layla's voice was glacial "I need to speak to Mr. Pervis alone."

"Layla," brooke began, but she had no idea what she was going to say.

"Take my sister upstairs."

"Okay. Come on kiddo, lets..." brooke swallowed "Lets let layla and Mr. Pervis talk." brooke took nina's hand and lead her out of the boiler room and up the stairs, with ace following behind.

"Mr. Purvis was going to give me a makeover. He said he could make my hair pretty like Layla's."


yerffej stalked the halls of the school, and couldn't remember the last time he'd had so much fun in a body. the look on their faces when he interrupted their amorous activities was hilarious, but nothing next to the confusion when they realized he wasn't about to report them, and then the fear when they finally put the pieces together.

his favorite part though was when they ran. or better yet, when they tried to fight. that cat boy with the fire and ice girls had had some moves, until his leg came off at the hip. then he just sort of flopped around on the floor until he ran out of blood. the girls had broken his machete though, and that made him angry. it was so cold from stabbing the first one that when the other hit him with that fireball it had shattered. he'd had to just beat her to death, which wasn't as good, but had it's own charms.

now he hefted the great double headed axe he'd gotten from the janitor's closet. looking at the succubus girl and the lizard boys again had made him sad. he should have taken his time with the first ones, but he had been just so excited. the blood also triggered a strange janitorial instinct he couldn't quite understand.

as he walked past the teacher's lounge he heard a someone gasping, two someone's in fact. interesting.

yerffej really missed his machete.


wilhelmina didn't understand what she was doing. she was heterosexual, she had verified it through extensive genetic and psychological tests! silky tendrils of black hair caressed her. her findings were published in the new england journal of medicine and the journal of neurophysiology! a slender hand ran up her back under her lab coat. science told her that what she was feeling was effectively impossible! she gasped as miki's other hand brushed along the back of her neck, and for the first time in her life, wilhelmina decided she didn't care what science said. she kissed lips that never spoke, and resolved to reexamine her research methods later.

she ran a hand through miki's sensuously writhing hair, back to where lips sucked her fingers and she shuddered. she opened her eyes and saw... jeffrey? wasn't there something he was supposed to be doing? she thought it was something important, but then teeth nipped at her little finger as it swirled through miki's hair, and she lost her train of thought.

when her eyes opened again, he was still there though, and she had the vaguest sense that something was wrong. why was he just standing there watching them?

well okay, stupid question, but what was the axe for? she wanted to ask, but that would mean disengaging her lips from miki's. as wilhelmina weighed pros and cons in an attempt to determine their optimal use, jeffrey raised the axe.

a wet thwack echoed down the corridors, followed by a woman's scream, which was cut short by several more.


layla stood in the hot and dank boiler room, alone with pervis for the first time in two years. he had that stupid grin on his face, like he had no idea why she was here.

maybe he didn't, maybe he really thought she wanted to talk to him.

"Layl-" she crossed the room before he could even say her name. she felt bone crack and teeth shatter as her small fist drove up into his chin. she was strong enough now.

pervis looked up at her, dazed from where he fell. he tried to speak, but his jaw wasn't moving right, all he managed was to dribble blood all over his face. it came out in a mist when her knees impacted his chest. there were popping sounds of his ribcage collapsing, a gurgling as the shards of bone perforated his lungs.

layla knelt there on pervis' chest for a moment as he kept trying to speak. she was strong enough now.

her fist came down and his cheekbone crumbled. the shrink told her she was too closed off. another blow caved in his eye socket. she said that layla needed to talk about her feelings. two more and his jaw mandible snapped in half. she said that layla until she did, she couldn't put it behind her. cartilage gave way as she crushed his windpipe. she hadn't believed it until now. pervis' hair tore as she drove his skull into the concrete floor again and again. in the language of violence layla told him exactly how she felt, how she had felt for two years.

the blood spattered across her face ran into her mouth, and layla spit.



the newspapers reported of the charybdis heights massacre that thirty seven students were killed before authorities arrived, as well as three teachers: ms. wilhelmina twigitt, ms. miki futakuchi, and mr. arman purvis, who's death was particularly brutal, even among the carnage found elsewhere. the prime suspect, a school groundskeeper known only as jeffrey, remains at large. he is considered armed and extremely dangerous.

found in the janitor's closet among the bodies of three students was a note, scrawled in blood: "I did it all for the lulz"

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by The Nick » Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:52 am

Oh my. Very unexpected!

So, by 'unusual' day, are we talking so unusual as to be unique, or more like, say, Leap Year - every graduating class can think back to a day like it?
"Sometimes [Layla] is a bit discourteous."-David Johnston
"The usual incentive for peace is to not be at war."-Thor
"that's actually one of thor's lines you've got in your signature there, not one of mine." -J (usually more invisible)
"Somebody just stake me now" -TJgalon
"I can masturbate without guilt now." -Panchocheesecake
"More Nick-sarcasm is always appreciated. Hail Beret Cat!" -Don Alexander
"...get that girl's panties off of her as soon as possible, and then see what effect that has on her personality." -kitsune9tails (out of context)
"special flowers" -Thor
"Doggy style." -Milnoc
"Wanted: ...berets on cats..." -The Nick

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by 'J' » Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:21 am

the sense that i needed something to call it, but i generally suck at titles. having something so innocuous and nondescript amused me, given the darkness of the subject matter.

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by jonwii » Wed Oct 26, 2011 12:42 am

Here a Team Chaotix Crossover by sup at writing.com that have Eerie Cuties that sup and i made at http://www.writing.com/main/interact/it ... 3332222221

I hope all of you would love it. :)

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Raamyah
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Revised Pic for Fic

Post by Raamyah » Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:26 pm

Arti & Lilith-Rough.png
Arti & Lilith-Rough.png (199.97 KiB) Viewed 9428 times
Artemisia, here's the sketch I promised. I haven't had the time to refine it yet, but thought it might give you a smile. The scanner didn't get all of Artemisia's mom or Lilith's dad, but you get the idea.
"There are four pillars of existence that support the very foundations of the universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, the Planck constant, Newtonian gravity, and the all-encompassing awesomeness of breasts." - Pauli Polsuo

"No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid." - Anonymous

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by Error of Logic » Fri Oct 28, 2011 6:43 pm

'J' wrote:An Unusual Day
"Hi aunt Désirée, it's Chloe."
It's nice to talk to you too aunt Désirée. Can you come pick me up at school? No, they're at work. I think I caught a cold last night at the beach with my friends. I'm going to the nurse right now."
The story as a whole was a bit gory and disturbing for my tastes, but I loved this little bit. Nice! It would make perfect sense...
My comic, Res Mira, starts here.

The crazy will bust loose. Either in the stories or on the forum. Or both at the same time.

Mad theory: Eulice is actually a retired succubus. This explains why she says DiDi Chastel looks like she did in her younger years. She maintains her current form because it allows her to get through her day without having to turn down sexual advances.

A busty redhead by decree of the Internet...? o.o;

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Re: Revised Pic for Fic

Post by The Nick » Sat Oct 29, 2011 4:40 am

Raamyah wrote:
Arti & Lilith-Rough.png
Artemisia, here's the sketch I promised. I haven't had the time to refine it yet, but thought it might give you a smile. The scanner didn't get all of Artemisia's mom or Lilith's dad, but you get the idea.
"Button up that shirt, young lady!"
"Sometimes [Layla] is a bit discourteous."-David Johnston
"The usual incentive for peace is to not be at war."-Thor
"that's actually one of thor's lines you've got in your signature there, not one of mine." -J (usually more invisible)
"Somebody just stake me now" -TJgalon
"I can masturbate without guilt now." -Panchocheesecake
"More Nick-sarcasm is always appreciated. Hail Beret Cat!" -Don Alexander
"...get that girl's panties off of her as soon as possible, and then see what effect that has on her personality." -kitsune9tails (out of context)
"special flowers" -Thor
"Doggy style." -Milnoc
"Wanted: ...berets on cats..." -The Nick

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Raamyah
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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by Raamyah » Sat Oct 29, 2011 5:13 am

In her family, it might be "Unbutton that shirt, young lady!" :)
"There are four pillars of existence that support the very foundations of the universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, the Planck constant, Newtonian gravity, and the all-encompassing awesomeness of breasts." - Pauli Polsuo

"No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid." - Anonymous

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The Nick
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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by The Nick » Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:22 am

Touche. I should have realized that.
"Sometimes [Layla] is a bit discourteous."-David Johnston
"The usual incentive for peace is to not be at war."-Thor
"that's actually one of thor's lines you've got in your signature there, not one of mine." -J (usually more invisible)
"Somebody just stake me now" -TJgalon
"I can masturbate without guilt now." -Panchocheesecake
"More Nick-sarcasm is always appreciated. Hail Beret Cat!" -Don Alexander
"...get that girl's panties off of her as soon as possible, and then see what effect that has on her personality." -kitsune9tails (out of context)
"special flowers" -Thor
"Doggy style." -Milnoc
"Wanted: ...berets on cats..." -The Nick

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Raamyah
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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by Raamyah » Wed Dec 07, 2011 5:34 pm

I am in the middle of several fun projects, but wanted to take a little break from them to add some pencils to the "cover" of Artemisia's fanfic. I hope to have it done at some point.
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Artemisia-Lilith-Warm-up.jpg
Artemisia-Lilith-Warm-up.jpg (160.1 KiB) Viewed 9224 times
"There are four pillars of existence that support the very foundations of the universe: the speed of light in a vacuum, the Planck constant, Newtonian gravity, and the all-encompassing awesomeness of breasts." - Pauli Polsuo

"No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid." - Anonymous

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Re: Eerie Cuties fanfics

Post by DDR_Ninja » Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:18 pm

One of my friends from another forum requested I put this here. Conveniently, she doesn't actually belong to this message board so if nobody winds up liking this, *I* get the blame for it.

It's Ace on Brooke. Be warned.

http://something-sappy.livejournal.com/

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